The Story of Our Golden Eyes is an adventure novel that I've been working on. It is told from the point of view of foxes, and -although it takes place in the real world- I use the folklore and mythology that I've been developing alongside the main story to aim for a "magical realism" feel.
This is the fourth chapter, the other chapters can be found here: https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....r-Golden-Eyes/

At this point, things are still pretty slice-of-life, but there are some things that are put in to set up future events for when the actual adventure starts.
Also, this is only the first draft. I might cut or rewrite somethings later on, specifically with the beginning.
I hope you enjoy it. Critiques are always welcome.
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Story 4

Sickeningly Sweet


Rikki’s dreams were always of the same thing, getting his Golden Eyes. This time, he earned them when his mother took him and his siblings for a solo hunting lesson, just like the one they did that afternoon. Only he didn’t catch meager worms or grasshoppers. Instead, he caught mice, rabbits, and birds, and even went to the river and caught a nice fat fish. Thanks to him, he had replenished the food cache in the den many times over while acorn-headed El spent the whole time lying in the dirt, tongue lolling out and nothing to show for it. His mother was so impressed that she took him –and only him to the blueberry bush where he filled his belly with so many blueberries that he could barely move. Content, he flopped on his back, closing his now golden eyes as the Great Light warmed his belly. However, his blissful relaxation was swiftly interrupted by the sudden sensation of a body bearing down on him. He felt the prick of claws against his pelt, and his eyes shot open, looking around in a confused daze until he saw the face of his attacker. It was El. Rikki struggled to get up, but his brother easily held him down. How was his brother so much stronger then him? The series of painful attacks continued, and Rikki felt completely helpless as El clawed and bit at him over and over again.

Rikki’s eyes blinked open in real life. The berry bush was gone, but he was still under attack. El was still there, but instead of trying to claw him to death, his brother was now prodding him in the side again and again with his nose. Rikki sprang up, yowling angrily as he set upon El, pinning him to the ground.

“You scuzzing Acorn-Head! What in the Everwinter are you doing?”

“I was attempting to wake you up.” El said flatly.

Rikki released El from under him and returned to lying on the grass. “Well, what did you do that for?”

“There is something wrong,” El said. “Mother has not returned from hunting yet.”

Rikki rolled his eyes. “Sweeps, seriously? That’s it? What, you suddenly decided to wear Codi’s pelt now?”

El hushed his brother, turning his head in the direction of their siblings, who were all gathered by the tunnel entrance with Holly and Bright. “Mother always returns before we wake, and Ms. Holly says that the sky is beginning to turn orange.”

For a brief moment, Rikki’s mouth hung speechless. Orange sky? There was no way could his mother have been gone that long. However, he refused to let El catch him off guard so he was quick to come up with a response.

“Well…so what? For all you know, she’s probably catching us something special. Yeah, like… like a frog or something, for doing a good job hunting on our own.”

Fsss fsss shh shh.

The sound of displaced dirt ceased any further speech, and the two kits scurried to join the other foxes at the tunnel’s entrance as Brenna emerged from the hole, her jaws carrying two squirrel carcasses. All six kits crowded around their mother as she emerged from the tunnel, barking and yipping in greeting and eagerness to eat.

Brenna worked her way through the furry crowd, her paws trying desperately not to trip over any of them. Once a few tail-lengths from the entrance, she fell on her haunches and placed the squirrels on the ground. Immediately, the two carcasses were set upon by her offspring as they competed for the food.

“Now, now, little ones.” She said with a panting tongue. “The food isn’t going to wake up and run off. Nova, Rikki, make sure you let Codi get his fair share. Twila, you let Nova and Rikki get theirs.”

She met with Holly and Bright at the front end of the den, her legs nearly giving out from under her as she flopped on the cool ground. Her rapid breathing elicited the kitsitter to join her and give her a supportive lick to her cheek.

“Pesky hunting, those squirrels, huh?” Holly asked.

Brenna groaned, resting her head between her forepaws. “Why do those things have to live in trees? I tell you, Holly, they seem to get faster every day.”

“So much for the great tales of Brenna the Squirreller.” Her friend joked.

The two vixens laughed in harmony, Brenna ending hers with a long sigh. “No, I think my squirrel-hunting talent disappeared along with Faern. Shame. The kits seem to share his taste for them.”

“Speaking of which,” Holly said. “Here comes one of his brood now.”

Brenna’s eyes opened. Sometime during their conversation, they had closed against her will and her head had drifted into a tired haze. It was only when a tiny nose touched hers that she realized she had been slipping into sleep. Rikki in front of her, his tail wagging and the white of his face covered in red from his meal. Brenna gave an amused churr as she crawled forward to clean his face.

“Ack, Mom, stop it,” the young fox protested. “I’m not a baby.”

“Even dogs need their faces groomed, sweetie. Now, what has you trotting over here?”

Rikki wriggled away from his mother, shaking off the wet from his mother’s tongue before regaining his composure. “I just wanted to thank you for catching those tasty squirrels.” He said in a voice that he thought was the most polite any fox had ever been.

Brenna cocked her head and gave her son a look as sly as her tired eyes could muster. “Oh, and is that all you wanted to say?”

Rikki returned her look with an innocent grin. “Weeeell, I was wondering if we could go to the blueberry bush now.”

Brenna’s smile faded, and Rikki’s wagging tail went limp.

“Oh, dear. I’m sorry Rikki,” she said weakly. “I know I promised, but I don’t think we can go after all.”

“What?” Rikki barked in horror, causing his siblings to look up from their meal. “Buh-wha-what did I do wrong? I hunted, I-I took a really long nap, and, and I even let Codi have my share of the squirrel’s belly. That’s the best part!”

“Rikki, Rikki.” His mother said. “You didn’t do anything, little one. It’s just that, hunting isn’t as easy sometimes. There are times when food is scarce, and sometimes mothers get tired making sure their kits have enough to eat. So, I’m afraid Mom can’t make it to the blueberry bush tonight.”

“What! We’re not going to the blueberry bush!”

Rio’s voice startled Brenna, who failed to realize that he had joined Rikki. “But you promised, and you said that if you break a promise, your tail will fall off. I don’t want your tail to fall off Mom, but I suppose we can get some honey and stick it back on. But honey means bees so-”

Twila’s concerned voice interrupted Rio’s rambling. In no time, she and the rest of the kits clustered around Brenna.

“What’s wrong with Mamma?”

“She’s not taking us to the blueberry bush and now her tails falling off.” Rio blurted.

“What? No way,” Nova said. “Mom’s tail’s still there so she’s takin’ us, right Mom?”

Brenna’s eyelids closed as she attempted to speak through the returning haze. “Promises. Sometimes work a little differently for mothers, dear. More…complicated. Sometimes, things happen that we can’t…control.”

“Well, why can’t Ms. Holly take us?” Rikki asked.

Brenna’s voice began trailing off, so much so that she couldn’t even make full speech.

“Bright. Has to hunt…her and Bright.” She said as sleep finally took her.

The kits inspected Brenna, sniffing at her and attempting to rouse her until Holly nosed them away.

“Now, now, settle down you little berry beggars,” the kitsitter said. “The blueberries will be there in the morning. We can all go then. In the meantime, you need to let your mother rest. I’m sure you clever kits can find ways to play quietly.”

As the kits reluctantly departed from their mother, Codi started trembling with even more worry than usual.

“Is M-m-mamma going to b-b-b-be alright?”

Holly gave Codi a tender lick on the cheek. “Don’t worry, Codi. She’ll be back to her old self once morning comes, as long as you are all good little kits and don’t disturb her. Can I trust you little terrors to do that for her?”

All six of the kits nodded.

“Good,” their kitsitter said. “Come along Bright. Let’s get back to your father. That dog’s probably worried out of his ruff by now.”

Bright assumed his place at his mother’s side. “Bye, everyfox. Sorry about the blueberries.” He said before following Holly through the tunnel.

With their kitsitter and friend gone, Brenna’s six kits sat in silence, the once-cozy den now feeling strangely cold. Codi spoke first, his stutter worsening.
“Wh-wh-what d-do we d-d-do n-n-n-n-now?”

Ever the collected one, El was the one to respond. “We do what Ms. Holly said. The best thing for Mother right now is rest.”

“That sounds easy enough.” Rio said. He ran off towards the far side of the den. “Come on, Codi. You can help me finally pin Nova and Twila.”

Nova and Twila, ran to meet Rio with Codi soon following. Rikki, however, remained rooted in place, examining his mother’s slow, deep breaths. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed El sitting about a fox-length away from him, and Rikki thought he could see a semblance of emotion in his brother’s expression. Was it sadness? Worry? Rikki wasn’t sure. But for the first time since he could remember, he looked at El and there was no trace of the wriggly-buzzy feeling. No, something else. A heavy and cold feeling, now made its home in Rikki’s chest and stomach.

He hadn’t said anything at the time, but back when he was sniffing at his mother, he noticed something strange. She didn’t smell right. Her usual scent was comforting, light, and fresh, flowery like the smell of lavender. But now, faintly hidden among the flowers lurked an unusual, almost fruity smell with an unpleasant sweetness, as if the fruit was a mix of ripe and rotten.

It turned his stomach. Rikki hated to admit it to himself, but El was right.