The Slicey Dicey Eggs & Ricey!

It does it all!

Slices!
Dices!
Slice n' dices!
Cooks the perfect eggs, any style!
Steams the fluffiest rice to make you smile!
Is there anything this bad boy CAN'T do?!

Yes. It can't tell the difference between food meat and people meat.

But not to worry! Just download our handy danandy Slicey Dicey Egg & Ricey appleiccation to your tart-phone and for a small fee of nine ninety nine dollops a month, you can have access to the DELUX features of your Slicey Dicey Egg & Ricey, including the sensor that checks if meat is food or people before slicing n'/or dicing.

Supplies are limited, as we are currently under investigation for reckless endangerment, so call now before we're shut down!

555-SDE-aR55

"Slicey, Dicey, Egg & Ricey! How'd you ever live without us?"- Advertisement for the Slicey Dicey Egg & Ricey, plastered on the sides of two comically long busses passing by Mung Dal's Catering