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More from Walt46
Listed in Folders
Moonlight and Mayhem
A Very Odd Romance
© 2010 by Walter Reimer
A story set in the Spontoon Island universe: http://spontoon.rootoon.com/
Spontoon Island © 2001-2021 Ken Fletcher and Giovanna Fregni
Thumbnail art by
cherushi and 
amonomega
Two
“No. One show per month keeps the audience hungry for more,” she said. She took a breath, straightening the bodice of her ecru gown. She smirked at Max, who openly leered at her and tried unsuccessfully to peek up her dress. “Now now, none of that.”
“Aw, Sam, you’re no fun.” He picked himself up and winked at the water taxi driver. “You were a bit rough, though – I think my tail almost got dislocated.”
“Sorry. I did the move exactly as you wanted it – “
Max sat up as Sam moved away from him, steadying herself instinctively against the pitch and roll of the boat. “Sorry, honeyfur, but no,” he said as he delicately massaged the base of his tail. “You’re supposed to grab me by the seat of my pants. Remember: The object of Apache dancing is to look like you’re beating me up.”
“I was tempted.”
The fox twitched his ears at the badger. “You were?”
“Yes, I was. You got up and left me at the table, Max.”
“He overcooked my veal – “
“And is that an excuse for leaving the woman you’re hosting for dinner just sitting at the table? Especially when you were planning on asking her to marry you? Again?”
The fox swallowed nervously. “So – “
Sam nodded. “That’s right, Max. The answer’s No, again. I will not marry you.”
The short vulpine sat on the deck and put his muzzle in his paws, looking glum. The water taxi driver glanced back at Sam and gave the badger a sympathetic smile as he piloted the boat to the Moon Island dock.
“Max?”
“Yeah, Sam?”
“Quit sulking. Trouble.” The fox leaped to his feet as the taxi neared the dock. Three bulky furs in standard dark blue jumpsuits were standing at the dock waiting for the boat. Two bears and a wolf, Army Union by the look of the rank flashes on their sleeves, and all three were wearing Military Police armbands. Sam waved, and bit her lower lip pensively when she got no response from the trio. “Yep. Trouble.”
“Trouble, Sam? Far from it!” Max enthused, leaping from the boat to the dock easily. “You recognize our fellow comrades from the Army? Don’t tell me you don’t recall Sergeant Brown?” and he leaned against one of the bears. “How’s things, Tony? How’s your wife and my kids?”
Brown grumbled, “They’re fine, Max. Alice was wondering when you plan on coming back on leave.”
“Oh?”
“Yep. She’s bought a new cast iron skillet, just for you.”
“She’s a wonderful girl, Sam, you really should meet her sometime. So! What brings you three out here in the warm tropical night air?”
“You,” the wolf growled, unclipping a short truncheon from his belt and tapping it ominously against his palm. “You and Commander Rain Sky are under arrest, and we got orders to take you two to the Syndic.”
Max looked scandalized. “Arrested? Little old me? That’s the first time this year!”
“Yeah,” Tony said as he offered a paw to Sam to help her out of the water taxi. “You can put it in your date book, Max. You know – the one that lists the girls in alphabetical order.” He gestured to the badger, who obligingly put out her wrists for the pawcuffs. “Sorry I have to do this, Samantha.”
“No problem, Tony. You’re doing your job. Tell you what – I’ll arrest you the next time my name comes up on the M.P. roster, just to keep things even, you understand. Max?”
“Yeah?”
“Behave.”
“I always do, my sweet. I’ll go quietly.” The wolf took out a pair of pawcuffs and laid a paw on the fox’s shoulder to turn him around. There was a swift movement and the lupine screeched and toppled backward, the cuffs falling into the water as the wolf curled into a fetal position, paws hugging his crotch. “I said I would go quietly, Billy, and I meant it. Cuffs aren’t necessary.” He started walking in the direction of the base’s administration building, forcing the others to trot to keep up with him.
“Max, my dear.”
“Yes, Samantha my darling?”
“You have to stop punching people in the crotch like that. Gives strangers the wrong impression.”
“I can’t help it if I’m short, Sam, and the wrong impression is exactly what I aim to do with that.” He glanced back and grinned at her, his brush snapping to and fro. “Besides, it works on both persuasions.”
“Not all of us, Max my dear,” and Sam grinned toothily. “Remember the day we met?”
“Sure, it was at that dive bar in - oh, yeah. You’re right, Sam.” The Catalina fox flinched a bit at the memory of the one person who took his trademark opening punch and still beat his tail.
The fact had immediately made her attractive to him, and she’d spent the next several months deflecting his repeated entreaties to marry him.
The group headed into the administration building, followed (at a distance) by the wolf Max had punched.
They were ushered into the office of the Base Syndic, a bear named Carl Masters who immediately growled, “At attention, both of you.”
“Why? We’re still on leave!” Max protested. “The Rules specifically state – “
“Except when the person on leave is facing charges,” the bear rumbled, the silver petty officer’s stripes on his sleeve flashing as he rounded on the fox. “And BOTH of you are facing charges, LIEUTENANT Vreeland.”
Max had his mouth open to speak; he closed it and snapped to attention. Sam was already at attention as the M.P. took off her pawcuffs. “Lt. Vreeland, Commander Rain Sky,” the Syndic said in a severe tone, “I got a set of interesting phone calls from the Spontoon Constabulary just a few minutes ago. Can’t you two go on leave without starting a ruckus?”
“Don’t know,” Max shrugged. “It’d take the fun out of it.”
“The Spontoonies take a dim view, you little troublemaker, of people defrauding merchants and beating up the Chief Constable.”
“Oh, so that blowhard was the Chief, huh?” Max chuckled. “He certainly can’t take a punch. If it hadn’t been for me holding him up, he’d’ve been out cold after Sam’s first hit.”
“Thanks, Max.”
“Think nothing of it, Sam.” He stiffened and barked, “Permission to speak freely, SIR!”
“Am I going to regret it?”
“Maybe.”
Masters sat down heavily, causing the swivel chair to creak in protest. “Go ahead, Max.”
“Look, Carl, I had perfect justification for everything.”
Masters leaned back and gazed up at the ceiling, as if asking some unseen entity ‘Why me?’ “Go on.”
“In the first case, doesn’t Rain Island law require a restaurant to offer quality food at a reasonable price, and to offer a customer a refund if the job’s botched?”
The bear had closed his eyes; now he opened one and said, “You can’t be serious. We’re in the Spontoons, you nuisance – “
“And you’re telling me we can’t hold our allies to the same standard? Honestly, what’s become of Rain Island’s egalitarianism? Are we turning fascist all of a sudden?”
“Uh huh, I see where this is going. Look, you’re telling me that you’re under no obligation to pay your dinner check because of an obscure law you insist should be applied even to the Spontoonies? You do know that a major part of their economy’s tourism, right?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then think about this, Max – suppose Spontoon adopted that law. How long do you think their economy would survive if they had to give people back their money if they weren’t satisfied? They’d go under.”
“Or maybe they’d improve their quality, like not overcooking veal.”
“Okay, then.” Masters sat up. “I’m going to present a motion to the local that the cost of the bill be deducted from your pay – “
“WHAT!?”
“Over a period of about six months – “
“WHAT!? Nothing doing! I’ll complain to the shop steward – “
“I’m the shop steward, or have you forgotten?”
“Then I’ll complain to – to – Hell, I don’t KNOW who I’ll complain to!”
The bear smiled. “There is an alternative.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Get demoted – BACK to petty officer.”
The Catalina fox’s muzzle fell open, and it took a moment for him to collect his lower jaw and his wits. “You can’t DO that!”
“Wanna bet?”
Max seemed to sag a bit, and mumbled indistinctly.
Carl cupped a massive paw to one ear. “What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I said, I’ll take the pay garnishment.”
“Splendid. That’s one problem, all taken care of. See how fast this goes if you’re reasonable? Now, what about hitting the Chief Constable?”
“That was completely accidental,” Sam said.
“Oh?”
“Yes. I was trying to punch Max, you see.”
“And why were you trying to punch Max?”
The badgeress’ short tail twitched. “I was trying to hit Max.”
“Why?”
“General principle.”
The bear looked puzzled. “While I can understand that - I mean, there's hardly anyone in the Union or the Syndicate who hasn't wanted to - shut up, Max - weren't you two out on a date?”
“Well, after dinner and dancing, what else is there to do in the Spontoons on a Friday night?”
The fox raised a paw. “I know!”
“Shut up, Max.”
“So, um, what was the general principle, Sam?”
The badgeress regarded the bear coolly. “You don't leave a date sitting at the table. That's first principles.”
Sgt. Brown nodded. “Damn straight.”
“I'm training Max to be a gentlefur,” Sam said.
“Aren't you an optimist,” Masters remarked. “Are you using a whip and chair?”
“Hey! She gets to use a whip? Sam! You never . . . “
“Shut up, Max.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Masters said, summing up, “you two were out on a date when Max goes into the kitchen, causing a ruckus – “
“It wasn’t MY fault!”
“Max, the only reason why you haven’t been shot at dawn yet is because bullets are expensive and I like to sleep in. And the reason the Chief Constable got beaten up is because you, Sam, were trying to punch Max in the snout.”
“That’s about right,” Sam said primly.
There was a sudden knock at the door and an orderly poked his head in. “Sorry for the interruption, Boss,” and the mephit passed a short note to one of the M.P.s, who gave it to Masters. The door closed as he read it.
“Says here that the Chief’s wife has made her statement. She says that she and Chief Pickering were at dinner, off duty, when he got in the way of a lover’s quarrel. Says it’s all his fault for barging in where he wasn’t needed.”
“See? TOLD you it wasn’t my fault.”
“Max?”
“Yeah, Carl?”
“You ever been muzzled?”
The Catalina fox studied his fingerclaws. “Came close once,” he mused aloud. “There’s this little place – er, tell you later,” he said hastily as he caught Sam looking at him.
Masters chuckled. “I think we can conclude things. Max, your pay is garnished to cover the cost of the meal. Sam, your penalty is being saddled with this sawed-off furball, and it’d be cruel of me to add injury to insult. Answer me this, though – when are you two going to get married and save us all this trouble?”
The short fox and the tall badger looked at each other before Samantha turned to Masters. “I haven’t decided to say Yes yet, Carl.”
“Do us all a favor, Sam – make it quick, okay? Dismissed.”
The two turned and headed for the door as the M.P.s made a path for them, and as they walked back to the longhouse Max asked, “You were going to say Yes?”
Sam smiled, but said nothing. The fox seemed to wilt a little, and for once he shut up as they entered the barracks longhouse to get some sleep.
<NEXT>
<FIRST>
<PREVIOUS>
A Very Odd Romance
© 2010 by Walter Reimer
A story set in the Spontoon Island universe: http://spontoon.rootoon.com/
Spontoon Island © 2001-2021 Ken Fletcher and Giovanna Fregni
Thumbnail art by
cherushi and 
amonomegaTwo
“No. One show per month keeps the audience hungry for more,” she said. She took a breath, straightening the bodice of her ecru gown. She smirked at Max, who openly leered at her and tried unsuccessfully to peek up her dress. “Now now, none of that.”
“Aw, Sam, you’re no fun.” He picked himself up and winked at the water taxi driver. “You were a bit rough, though – I think my tail almost got dislocated.”
“Sorry. I did the move exactly as you wanted it – “
Max sat up as Sam moved away from him, steadying herself instinctively against the pitch and roll of the boat. “Sorry, honeyfur, but no,” he said as he delicately massaged the base of his tail. “You’re supposed to grab me by the seat of my pants. Remember: The object of Apache dancing is to look like you’re beating me up.”
“I was tempted.”
The fox twitched his ears at the badger. “You were?”
“Yes, I was. You got up and left me at the table, Max.”
“He overcooked my veal – “
“And is that an excuse for leaving the woman you’re hosting for dinner just sitting at the table? Especially when you were planning on asking her to marry you? Again?”
The fox swallowed nervously. “So – “
Sam nodded. “That’s right, Max. The answer’s No, again. I will not marry you.”
The short vulpine sat on the deck and put his muzzle in his paws, looking glum. The water taxi driver glanced back at Sam and gave the badger a sympathetic smile as he piloted the boat to the Moon Island dock.
“Max?”
“Yeah, Sam?”
“Quit sulking. Trouble.” The fox leaped to his feet as the taxi neared the dock. Three bulky furs in standard dark blue jumpsuits were standing at the dock waiting for the boat. Two bears and a wolf, Army Union by the look of the rank flashes on their sleeves, and all three were wearing Military Police armbands. Sam waved, and bit her lower lip pensively when she got no response from the trio. “Yep. Trouble.”
“Trouble, Sam? Far from it!” Max enthused, leaping from the boat to the dock easily. “You recognize our fellow comrades from the Army? Don’t tell me you don’t recall Sergeant Brown?” and he leaned against one of the bears. “How’s things, Tony? How’s your wife and my kids?”
Brown grumbled, “They’re fine, Max. Alice was wondering when you plan on coming back on leave.”
“Oh?”
“Yep. She’s bought a new cast iron skillet, just for you.”
“She’s a wonderful girl, Sam, you really should meet her sometime. So! What brings you three out here in the warm tropical night air?”
“You,” the wolf growled, unclipping a short truncheon from his belt and tapping it ominously against his palm. “You and Commander Rain Sky are under arrest, and we got orders to take you two to the Syndic.”
Max looked scandalized. “Arrested? Little old me? That’s the first time this year!”
“Yeah,” Tony said as he offered a paw to Sam to help her out of the water taxi. “You can put it in your date book, Max. You know – the one that lists the girls in alphabetical order.” He gestured to the badger, who obligingly put out her wrists for the pawcuffs. “Sorry I have to do this, Samantha.”
“No problem, Tony. You’re doing your job. Tell you what – I’ll arrest you the next time my name comes up on the M.P. roster, just to keep things even, you understand. Max?”
“Yeah?”
“Behave.”
“I always do, my sweet. I’ll go quietly.” The wolf took out a pair of pawcuffs and laid a paw on the fox’s shoulder to turn him around. There was a swift movement and the lupine screeched and toppled backward, the cuffs falling into the water as the wolf curled into a fetal position, paws hugging his crotch. “I said I would go quietly, Billy, and I meant it. Cuffs aren’t necessary.” He started walking in the direction of the base’s administration building, forcing the others to trot to keep up with him.
“Max, my dear.”
“Yes, Samantha my darling?”
“You have to stop punching people in the crotch like that. Gives strangers the wrong impression.”
“I can’t help it if I’m short, Sam, and the wrong impression is exactly what I aim to do with that.” He glanced back and grinned at her, his brush snapping to and fro. “Besides, it works on both persuasions.”
“Not all of us, Max my dear,” and Sam grinned toothily. “Remember the day we met?”
“Sure, it was at that dive bar in - oh, yeah. You’re right, Sam.” The Catalina fox flinched a bit at the memory of the one person who took his trademark opening punch and still beat his tail.
The fact had immediately made her attractive to him, and she’d spent the next several months deflecting his repeated entreaties to marry him.
The group headed into the administration building, followed (at a distance) by the wolf Max had punched.
They were ushered into the office of the Base Syndic, a bear named Carl Masters who immediately growled, “At attention, both of you.”
“Why? We’re still on leave!” Max protested. “The Rules specifically state – “
“Except when the person on leave is facing charges,” the bear rumbled, the silver petty officer’s stripes on his sleeve flashing as he rounded on the fox. “And BOTH of you are facing charges, LIEUTENANT Vreeland.”
Max had his mouth open to speak; he closed it and snapped to attention. Sam was already at attention as the M.P. took off her pawcuffs. “Lt. Vreeland, Commander Rain Sky,” the Syndic said in a severe tone, “I got a set of interesting phone calls from the Spontoon Constabulary just a few minutes ago. Can’t you two go on leave without starting a ruckus?”
“Don’t know,” Max shrugged. “It’d take the fun out of it.”
“The Spontoonies take a dim view, you little troublemaker, of people defrauding merchants and beating up the Chief Constable.”
“Oh, so that blowhard was the Chief, huh?” Max chuckled. “He certainly can’t take a punch. If it hadn’t been for me holding him up, he’d’ve been out cold after Sam’s first hit.”
“Thanks, Max.”
“Think nothing of it, Sam.” He stiffened and barked, “Permission to speak freely, SIR!”
“Am I going to regret it?”
“Maybe.”
Masters sat down heavily, causing the swivel chair to creak in protest. “Go ahead, Max.”
“Look, Carl, I had perfect justification for everything.”
Masters leaned back and gazed up at the ceiling, as if asking some unseen entity ‘Why me?’ “Go on.”
“In the first case, doesn’t Rain Island law require a restaurant to offer quality food at a reasonable price, and to offer a customer a refund if the job’s botched?”
The bear had closed his eyes; now he opened one and said, “You can’t be serious. We’re in the Spontoons, you nuisance – “
“And you’re telling me we can’t hold our allies to the same standard? Honestly, what’s become of Rain Island’s egalitarianism? Are we turning fascist all of a sudden?”
“Uh huh, I see where this is going. Look, you’re telling me that you’re under no obligation to pay your dinner check because of an obscure law you insist should be applied even to the Spontoonies? You do know that a major part of their economy’s tourism, right?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then think about this, Max – suppose Spontoon adopted that law. How long do you think their economy would survive if they had to give people back their money if they weren’t satisfied? They’d go under.”
“Or maybe they’d improve their quality, like not overcooking veal.”
“Okay, then.” Masters sat up. “I’m going to present a motion to the local that the cost of the bill be deducted from your pay – “
“WHAT!?”
“Over a period of about six months – “
“WHAT!? Nothing doing! I’ll complain to the shop steward – “
“I’m the shop steward, or have you forgotten?”
“Then I’ll complain to – to – Hell, I don’t KNOW who I’ll complain to!”
The bear smiled. “There is an alternative.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Get demoted – BACK to petty officer.”
The Catalina fox’s muzzle fell open, and it took a moment for him to collect his lower jaw and his wits. “You can’t DO that!”
“Wanna bet?”
Max seemed to sag a bit, and mumbled indistinctly.
Carl cupped a massive paw to one ear. “What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I said, I’ll take the pay garnishment.”
“Splendid. That’s one problem, all taken care of. See how fast this goes if you’re reasonable? Now, what about hitting the Chief Constable?”
“That was completely accidental,” Sam said.
“Oh?”
“Yes. I was trying to punch Max, you see.”
“And why were you trying to punch Max?”
The badgeress’ short tail twitched. “I was trying to hit Max.”
“Why?”
“General principle.”
The bear looked puzzled. “While I can understand that - I mean, there's hardly anyone in the Union or the Syndicate who hasn't wanted to - shut up, Max - weren't you two out on a date?”
“Well, after dinner and dancing, what else is there to do in the Spontoons on a Friday night?”
The fox raised a paw. “I know!”
“Shut up, Max.”
“So, um, what was the general principle, Sam?”
The badgeress regarded the bear coolly. “You don't leave a date sitting at the table. That's first principles.”
Sgt. Brown nodded. “Damn straight.”
“I'm training Max to be a gentlefur,” Sam said.
“Aren't you an optimist,” Masters remarked. “Are you using a whip and chair?”
“Hey! She gets to use a whip? Sam! You never . . . “
“Shut up, Max.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Masters said, summing up, “you two were out on a date when Max goes into the kitchen, causing a ruckus – “
“It wasn’t MY fault!”
“Max, the only reason why you haven’t been shot at dawn yet is because bullets are expensive and I like to sleep in. And the reason the Chief Constable got beaten up is because you, Sam, were trying to punch Max in the snout.”
“That’s about right,” Sam said primly.
There was a sudden knock at the door and an orderly poked his head in. “Sorry for the interruption, Boss,” and the mephit passed a short note to one of the M.P.s, who gave it to Masters. The door closed as he read it.
“Says here that the Chief’s wife has made her statement. She says that she and Chief Pickering were at dinner, off duty, when he got in the way of a lover’s quarrel. Says it’s all his fault for barging in where he wasn’t needed.”
“See? TOLD you it wasn’t my fault.”
“Max?”
“Yeah, Carl?”
“You ever been muzzled?”
The Catalina fox studied his fingerclaws. “Came close once,” he mused aloud. “There’s this little place – er, tell you later,” he said hastily as he caught Sam looking at him.
Masters chuckled. “I think we can conclude things. Max, your pay is garnished to cover the cost of the meal. Sam, your penalty is being saddled with this sawed-off furball, and it’d be cruel of me to add injury to insult. Answer me this, though – when are you two going to get married and save us all this trouble?”
The short fox and the tall badger looked at each other before Samantha turned to Masters. “I haven’t decided to say Yes yet, Carl.”
“Do us all a favor, Sam – make it quick, okay? Dismissed.”
The two turned and headed for the door as the M.P.s made a path for them, and as they walked back to the longhouse Max asked, “You were going to say Yes?”
Sam smiled, but said nothing. The fox seemed to wilt a little, and for once he shut up as they entered the barracks longhouse to get some sleep.
<NEXT>
<FIRST>
<PREVIOUS>
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Gray Fox
Size 72 x 120px
File Size 63.2 kB
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