After submitting the voice meme and listening to it to see how terribly it turned out I decided to take one last swig of Dr. Pepper before heading off to bed. . .

And I apparently pressure sealed my damn Dr. Pepper!
So I stomped out to the garage to find the vise gripping solution.

This was the simplest course of action that came to mind that got Dr. Pepper down my throat without punching Six Million holes in the damned thing or destroying the caffinated drink within.
(Will be scrapped later)
Regardless, I'm going to have my Dr. Pepper and drink it too.

AnthonyM~

Also, for those that need to know, this should be easier to masturbate to.
You know who you are