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More from Kizmit
I've been art-blocked for months.
I think I am finally starting to figure out why.
I did my usual trick. I got so far and then started pushing people close to me away.
What if they get to know the real me? What if they start to like me? What if we... become friends?
What if I introduce them all to one another and one of them is a toxic shit burger? So the only choice I have is to walk away slowly to protect myself from their nonsense while they take everything away!
How do I have friends? I'm not allowed to have meaningful connections with people.
That's why I push people away.
I sabotage because nice things are for other people.
I'm sorry I did that to you.
It's because when I've gotten close to people, it's usually gone south.
I have very few connections left in this fandom and I am grateful for every single one of them.
I wish we could be closer again.
I miss this.
But more than anything, I fear your judgement.
And, I can't connect with my art, my characters anymore because of all we've been through.
I want to try though.
I think I am finally starting to figure out why.
I did my usual trick. I got so far and then started pushing people close to me away.
What if they get to know the real me? What if they start to like me? What if we... become friends?
What if I introduce them all to one another and one of them is a toxic shit burger? So the only choice I have is to walk away slowly to protect myself from their nonsense while they take everything away!
How do I have friends? I'm not allowed to have meaningful connections with people.
That's why I push people away.
I sabotage because nice things are for other people.
I'm sorry I did that to you.
It's because when I've gotten close to people, it's usually gone south.
I have very few connections left in this fandom and I am grateful for every single one of them.
I wish we could be closer again.
I miss this.
But more than anything, I fear your judgement.
And, I can't connect with my art, my characters anymore because of all we've been through.
I want to try though.
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 698 x 1200px
File Size 259.4 kB
Ah, the Porcupines Delima; a common social anxiety of letting someone get TOO close, so then suffering isolation out of the fear of betrayal.
It really sucks, and after being burned by so many; it's REALLY easy to fall into that pit-fall. But while it's "safer" to not get one's heart stepped on, it's lonely and can cause long-term suffering effects. Death by a gun-shot wound, or death by a thousand paper-cuts.
Again, completely understandable, but if you're finding yourself feeling lonely then ya gotta gamble Kizmit.
Can it go south? Certainly.
WILL it? Perhaps.
But perhaps not. And you could be missing out on the best times of your life. I gambled on a woman after being a BUNCH of issues with 3 different women (all in the same 6 month span), and was about to write off dating women entirely until I found one online. Gambled, we got along, and we ended up getting married and having 3 great (usually lol) kids. It's worth a bit of heartache to get some great memories. And if it doesn't work out; then cherish the good memories, and learn from the bad.
I guess the TL;DR is: Gotta risk it for the brisket. Eternal happiness is a harsh gamble away; always.
It really sucks, and after being burned by so many; it's REALLY easy to fall into that pit-fall. But while it's "safer" to not get one's heart stepped on, it's lonely and can cause long-term suffering effects. Death by a gun-shot wound, or death by a thousand paper-cuts.
Again, completely understandable, but if you're finding yourself feeling lonely then ya gotta gamble Kizmit.
Can it go south? Certainly.
WILL it? Perhaps.
But perhaps not. And you could be missing out on the best times of your life. I gambled on a woman after being a BUNCH of issues with 3 different women (all in the same 6 month span), and was about to write off dating women entirely until I found one online. Gambled, we got along, and we ended up getting married and having 3 great (usually lol) kids. It's worth a bit of heartache to get some great memories. And if it doesn't work out; then cherish the good memories, and learn from the bad.
I guess the TL;DR is: Gotta risk it for the brisket. Eternal happiness is a harsh gamble away; always.
You know, no one has actually called me Kizmit in years and I absolutely love the fact that you did. Happy vibes.
And, thank you for the comment. I know this is a brief reply, but your words, they mean a lot.
Between the two of us, we’ve got so many years in this fandom and I’m glad that you’re here after so many of them.
I am so glad you got your happy ending. That’s such a wholesome story! Who’d have thought it!? Nacht can do wholesome!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it no end.
*hugs*
Now, get on your knees, bitch!!
😂😂
And, thank you for the comment. I know this is a brief reply, but your words, they mean a lot.
Between the two of us, we’ve got so many years in this fandom and I’m glad that you’re here after so many of them.
I am so glad you got your happy ending. That’s such a wholesome story! Who’d have thought it!? Nacht can do wholesome!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it no end.
*hugs*
Now, get on your knees, bitch!!
😂😂
I mean I -could- call you by your real name, but I try to use whatever the stage name is as that's what's being presented ^_^
Brief doesn't necessarily equate to insubstantial, after all. A ton of shit is worth less then an ounce of gold, after all ;) I believe this is where my oldest would whine about 'all your constant sayings and phrases, DAD' with an exhuberated sigh, but I try to pack away as many fortune-cookie'esque life quotes and phrases as I possibly can XD
We aren't well known for wholesome, sure, but I do enjoy bringing them to the forefront whenever possible. Life certainly could use them more. *Big ol' squishy hugs* ^_^
Ladies first ^.~ *sounds of ropes fraying and tearing at the seams* >:3~~
Brief doesn't necessarily equate to insubstantial, after all. A ton of shit is worth less then an ounce of gold, after all ;) I believe this is where my oldest would whine about 'all your constant sayings and phrases, DAD' with an exhuberated sigh, but I try to pack away as many fortune-cookie'esque life quotes and phrases as I possibly can XD
We aren't well known for wholesome, sure, but I do enjoy bringing them to the forefront whenever possible. Life certainly could use them more. *Big ol' squishy hugs* ^_^
Ladies first ^.~ *sounds of ropes fraying and tearing at the seams* >:3~~
I honestly recognize that. It's a lot of self loathing and hurt feelings from experience and good god is it a bitch to get over.
But, to truly live? To truly experience life? You have to learn to trust again. Not only others, but yourself.
I know I can be an overly flirtatious hoe, but I implore you to send me a line if you need to talk, I'll listen, dudette. Or anyone, for that matter. Talk to someone, anyone. Let them dispel those worries. I hope you're doing better and will continue to improve <3.
But, to truly live? To truly experience life? You have to learn to trust again. Not only others, but yourself.
I know I can be an overly flirtatious hoe, but I implore you to send me a line if you need to talk, I'll listen, dudette. Or anyone, for that matter. Talk to someone, anyone. Let them dispel those worries. I hope you're doing better and will continue to improve <3.
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