Way too long to read now, but I'll download it for later.

Hope ya like it!

Well I read it and all I can say is...*FAVE* I can't believe this is from the same person as "Magnetic Rape Burritos". My eye's felt wet lnow less than 7 times during the story. Awesome!

...did notice one little spelling error though. Near the end in the section before the Author's note: Where it says "Together, the passed through the cute little cabin..."it should say "Together, THEY passed through the cute little cabin..."

Still for 53 pages and over 35,000 words...one error is pretty good!

BLARG!! Well, I guess a story can only be edited so much. Those onese spell check can't get really suck.

I'm very glad you enjoyed the rest of it though. ^__^

What do you mean "the rest of it"? I enjoyed the WHOLE THING!

Well, I meant everything *besides* the spelling error. ;)

You win a truckload of fresh, hot s'mores!

*blinks, startled* ...Okay! Hooray!!

absolutely f*ing brilliant =^.^= easily one of the best if not "the" best story i've ever read from you, wonderful storyline, incredibly rounded and deep characters, and made me cry XD *giggles* thanks for sharing your art =^.^=

Dang! It's comments like this that make me keep on writing. Thanks muchly, Ruffy!

*giggles adn gives hugs cause you deserve them* yeay!

Always has.

To the point where I can't say anything nice about your story, because I can't look at it with sufficient objectivity just yet. To the extent that is a complement ... well, there it is.

I did notice that Melissa, although taking very good care to prevent 'flight' did not *appear* to have anticipated a 'fight' reaction. Daniel had any number of such options open, even if he didn't take advantage - or recognize - them.

Cheers,
OT

I was never actually trying to make it about Stockholm Syndrome (in fact, I don't know the deeper meanings behind quite a lot of my stories until long after I've started or even finished them). In fact, it never even occurred to me until now. I think the reason why is that, as I understand it, Stockholm Syndrome is usually people empathizing with their kidnappers in crime-type scenarios, yet here Melissa's motives really are pure and she only captures Daniel because of [that plot twist I mention near the end when they're sitting at the table].

Also, Melissa's a canny vixen. Even if it didn't seem that way, she was ready in case Daniel fought back. For starters, she is bigger and stronger than him. And also, if he really wanted to get away that badly, she would have let him.

Bigger and stronger? What does that have to do with it? If bigger and stronger ruled the world, elephants would be the dominant species, not sentients.

Melissa left Daniel alone first in a bedroom, and then in a house. Daniel could have improvised a tool (weapon) that would equalize the size and strength imbalance. Would he have? Not sure, since his thoughts seemed to go directly from flight to despair.

I'm still not over being creeped out by the story. Am working on it

Cheers,
OT

Well, still, like I said, Melissa would have let him go if she'd truly sensed anything like that from him. And too, da vix knows magic. If she doesn't know any protective spells, I'll eat my shoes.

Totally awsome!!! Can't wait for more. I don't care if was vore. That is one of the best stories I've heard in a loooong time.

Yaaay! *happy author* I do seem to have a knack for making people read stories about subjects they normally don't enjoy, don't I?

Kinda like how a friend of mine told me he used to jerk off to guro-type stuff because it aroused him, be he also kinda hated himself for it because he hates violence and suffering. But when he encountered snuffie, it was like a total revelation. All the things he liked about snuff but with big happy smiles instead of screams! ^__^

I never said I didn't like vore. I normally don't look for good stories in vore, but you changed that. The way this turned out was better than I first expected. For a good part of the story I forgot it was vore till I got to the part where they got back to the subject of M eating D. It really was a bit more of a tear jerker than I was expecting but nonetheless it was great.

Okay, I understand now. I know well how often the only reason for a story's existence is just wank material.

Or worse, when I'm reading a story that DOES have an interesting plot, characters, whathaveyou, and then all of a sudden they go into an extended yiff/fetish scene in frightening levels of detail that just goes on and on and on and then the story just abruptly ends. Arrrgh!

Not at all. Your story here is genuinely a good story with a good plot and whatnot. There were times where I thought something was going to happen but it would have ruined the storyline if said things happened. You put a lot of hard work into a good story. You've made my day.

Thanks very much! I really enjoy defying expectations.

(Speaking of that, my soon-to-be released new novel will have so many plot twists and 'wait-WHAT!?' moments in it, I'm hoping to snap a few necks from reader whiplash...)

That was me. :3

Ah. Didn't know if you'd mind me mentioning you by name. :)

Not that long ago, I _would've_ minded...so I VERY MUCH appreciate you letting me out myself instead. *huggles*

Hey, I can be discreet. *doublethehuggles*

Yup, and I am saying that I appreciate the discreetitude.

(BTW, thanks for sending me the penultimate version of DL to proofread; I'm almost done and I've found some doozies!)

Oh noes! Well, this is why I sent it to you. I have faith in your eagle eyes, mi amigo!

And ten points to Gryffendor for using the word 'penultimate' correctly.

Thanks! ...but I'm a Ravenclaw! XD ;)

I'm so glad I checked this one out!

When I saw the initial length, I was freaked out, but this one not only managed to keep my attention, rather it seized and would not let go.

This story definitely is a suspenseful one: the reader's not sure where it will go next. I especially like how it toys with some existential concepts without being sour like most existential works are.

It also hit a chord with me because one of my own stories has Stockholm Syndrome (Zèle de Sang Rougewhich is being written and revised at the moment) and out of all the stuff I studied in Psychology, it has fascinated me the most.

I question some of the vocabulary used by Daniel, it seems like that it'd be out of his reach, it sounds too formal (not saying that kids are dumb, they're a whole lot smarter than we think sometimes).

All and all, an superb story. You have inspired me to go and do some writing now.

"but this one not only managed to keep my attention, rather it seized and would not let go."

I'm very happy to hear that. I know a lot of mine are long, but I try my best to keep the pace steady. I dislike authors who write a 400 page book and the plot doesn't show up until page 275.

"I especially like how it toys with some existential concepts without being sour like most existential works are."

Prolly due to the fact that I *still* don't know what existentialism's all about (despite trying to several times!).

"It also hit a chord with me because one of my own stories has Stockholm Syndrome"

Take a note of my comment to OnyxTao. Another thing is, I saw this as more of a 'rescued by a fairy godmother' type thing. The difference being that here, Daniel doesn't realize at first how badly he wants to be rescued. It's almost like Melissa has to 'cult deprogram' him out of reality.

"I question some of the vocabulary used by Daniel"

*blushes* Yeah... I do kinda worry sometimes about that. Of course, it is only a story, so I fudge some things to get my concepts across easier. And if I wrote dialogue the way people REALLY talk - with all the 'um's and stutters and mess-ups intact - this'd be twice as long.

"All and all, an superb story. You have inspired me to go and do some writing now."

Alright! Thanks very much for writing such a detailed comment. I love when someone makes *me* think about my own writing. ^__^

>>I'm very happy to hear that. I know a lot of mine are long, but I try my best to keep the pace steady. I dislike authors who write a 400 page book and the plot doesn't show up until page 275.

My problem is that sometimes I hit all the stuff with people too soon and they're like "I would have saved that" or "you're moving too fast"

>>Prolly due to the fact that I *still* don't know what existentialism's all about (despite trying to several times!).

Existentialism is something I can't exactly sum up here, so keep researching!

>>
Take a note of my comment to OnyxTao. Another thing is, I saw this as more of a 'rescued by a fairy godmother' type thing. The difference being that here, Daniel doesn't realize at first how badly he wants to be rescued. It's almost like Melissa has to 'cult deprogram' him out of reality.

I understand what you're saying. There's even Lima Syndrome, where the hostage takers sympathize with the hostages and then give up by choice instead of violent coercion from law enforcement. But yeah, Melissa has very genuine motives and so isn't doing anything illicit (try telling the prey otherwise). However, the methods she implements are similar to those in SS.

>>*blushes* Yeah... I do kinda worry sometimes about that. Of course, it is only a story, so I fudge some things to get my concepts across easier. And if I wrote dialogue the way people REALLY talk - with all the 'um's and stutters and mess-ups intact - this'd be twice as long

No, you can't reproduce dialouge in it's pure form, because you couldn't follow it and it's not easy on the eyes. Ah, I understand all about explaining concepts. I'd say for the most part it's dead-on for Daniel, so it's not bad at all.

>>Alright! Thanks very much for writing such a detailed comment. I love when someone makes *me* think about my own writing. ^__^

You're welcome. I appreciate it when others do it for me and through such critique can only come improvement. ^_^

>>My problem is that sometimes I hit all the stuff with people too soon and they're like "I would have saved that" or "you're moving too fast"

*nods* Yeah, I hear ya. I'm still not sure if I paced the 'big reveal' moment in "Down In The Dumps" correctly. One big help to me is that I envision everything as a movie first, then translate it to the page verbally. Also, I write lines as if I'm writing music. The sentences have to sound right to my ear before I'm satisfied with them. (Now that I think about it, my stuff would make good audiobooks...)

>>I understand what you're saying. There's even Lima Syndrome, where the hostage takers sympathize with the hostages and then give up by choice instead of violent coercion from law enforcement. But yeah, Melissa has very genuine motives and so isn't doing anything illicit (try telling the prey otherwise). However, the methods she implements are similar to those in SS.

I'll have to look into this further. One thing to keep in mind too, is that I made Daniel a perceptive boy, able to tell false kindness from real. It's Melissa's *sincerity* that makes him decide to stay, more than anything else. If she'd been just putting on an act, you can bet your buns he'd fight to the last breath to get out of that house. Remember the head-in-the-window bit?

>>You're welcome. I appreciate it when others do it for me and through such critique can only come improvement. ^_^

Couldn't agree more! As long as the person's got something real to say (instead of just being a dick), I definitely welcome criticism. Without mistakes, we cannot learn.

I remember the first time I read this story. After I read it I actually wished I could just forget the whole thing, just so I could enjoy reading it for the first time again. An excelent story, well worth the time to read.

It really gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing this affected you so much. Thank you.

Another whos not really into any kind of vore at all, but the story and emotions and characters make this one excellent, in fact, I have found all of your stories in this theme to be excellent and thought provoking sometimes.

Thank you very, very much! Making people think is my greatest joy! ^__^

Yay more snuffie goodness! ~hugs the fox and rubs his feet~

*murrs*

Mmmm fox feet!

love this story n.n <3

Glad you do!

This was a great story. I may need to draw more fun vore because of this :) If this ever became a novel, I can just imagine the blank days being a few chapters of totally blank pages. Lets the readers mind wander as to what really went on during those days. Its a real kick.

Thanks! And yes, draw more fun vore! That's the best kind. ^__^

Fun is always the best kind, heheh!

Wow! What a moving story, I thought he was really dead for a little bit there, got all watery. This was a truly amazing story, even though the fetish stuff in it isn't in my bag the story itself was wonderful to read, I found it compelling and couldn't stop reading. Haven't read anything of yours since the Bartleby's Decent series and you just keep improving. Do you write for a living? I'd read any novels you've written if so.

"got all watery"

I always feel kinda proud knowing I made someone cry. (Sometimes I carry onions in my pants.)

"even though the fetish stuff in it isn't in my bag the story itself was wonderful to read"

I often try to structure my fetishy scenes in way so they're part of the plot and not gratuitously detailed. that way, those into the fetish can get all goo-goo eyes over it and those who aren't can just read it as part of the story. I'm aware my readers aren't into all the things I am. ^__^

"Do you write for a living? I'd read any novels you've written if so."

Nope *blush* I'm thinking of maybe trying to sell some copies of my work at furry cons 'r something though...

Oh, if I ever manage to get to a con that would be great.

Alex, I'm really not sure I could even begin express just how much I enjoyed this story. I mean, when I ran across it I was in the process of bedding down for the night. So of course I had just planned on taking a quick peek at it and well... It was 3:30am before I was able to put it down. And dispite the fact that I had to be up in a couple hours for work, I couldn't have been happier. :)

It's rare that I read a story really makes me feel for the characters involved. But it's rarer still that I stumble across one that invokes the kind of emotion that "Held In Captivity" did. There were at least a half dozen times that I found myself fighting back tears. And easily twice that many that I just wanted to grab Daniel and hug him close... That little mouse was more like me than I care to admit.

Needless to say, I will definitely be catching up on all your previous works just as soon as I get the chance.

Do keep up the good work foxie!

*blushes deeply* Golly, thank you very, very much! It always feels good knowing that the emotion I put into writing my work comes through in the final product. I'm glad this affected you so much. I hope you like my other stories too.

...and I hope you can read them at a more opportune time next time. ^__^

There is nothing i can say about this story that has not already been said, though one simple fact bears repeating infinitely, YOU WIN ALL OF EXISTENCE, your stories are always wonderful from your cookiest works of pure surealness [deli meat for example] to truly touching ones like this.....you have a gift dear alex, and im truly happy you have decided to share it with the world.

*wriggles with glee* Thank you!!

that was a wonderful read, thank you for sharing it :3

that was a wonderful read, thank you for sharing it :3

Thank you as well!

(Cute avatar, too!)

Oh my god, reading this is gonna take like...3 hours! I'll get back to you tommorrow...

I started this with the thought, "Oh god, not a vore story... but I like Alex's stories so I'll try it"... and now I'm sitting here tears in my eyes and finding I've totally ignored AIM for like an hour. Quite a feat for me.

This story is one of the most beautiful I've ever read and it almost makes it more beautiful it's for a kink I usually dislike. In other words, congrats and I hope to read much more from you... even if it's vore ^_~.

You're making me blush! No, seriously, thanks very much for saying so. I'm glad this story affected you so much.

To me, it was never really a vore story, but a character study. The vore just happens to be in there, dig?

faved and will be read tomorrow.

Tell me what ya think!

Also, your avatar contains equal amounts of adorable and LOL.

it's very intimidating, isn't it?

I am frightened of his mighty roar!!

and the pointy, sharp teeth!

first read this on Yiffstar shortly after you put it up, it is still meaningful as it was when I read it, almost cried as the part where the coyote dies(I woulda cried, but my roomate was sorta here X3) it is so incredibly moving and also so meaningful and wonderful, I never got to say it on yiffstar, so, I will here, thank you, thank you so much for posting this, I love your work

Thank you! And I cried my eyes out when I wrote that part, so you're not alone! ;)

This is a really wonderful story, I'm so glad i found it!

I have to say, it's somewhat rare that a story i begin reading in hopes of getting off ends up drawing me in to the point where i just forget about that and read it to the end simply because it's a great story.

Golly, thanks! That is high praise indeed for me.

Also, your avatar is scaring me a little. ;)

I'm glad you had a link to this in your journal. A slight problem with randomly reading your stories on a whim is that things slip through occasionally, and this I had not noticed before! As usual you have done a great job. I absolutely loved the characters, and this one seemed to draw me in more than they usually do. I've realized the reason I enjoy all of your stories regardless of the content is that what I'm really after is for characters who are happy in the end and get what they want. This is a universal theme in your stories; you always tie up all the loose ends and take away any worries one has for the characters. You did a wonderful job and I certainly hope that I can eventually make such convincing and reach characters in my own writing.

Golly, thanks!

I truly believe that if the author doesn't truly care about their characters, the audience won't either. And I really do think of my creations as real. I've heard too that a secret to good storytelling is to make characters the reader will love, then put them through the worst torments imaginable. Conflict is crucial, but whenever I put my characters through hell, I always do my best to make up for it with a great big sloppy explosion of happiness in the end. Not only because I care about them, but also what use are character-building experiences if you don't live through them? I will _never_ kill off one of my main protagonists (unless it's in a happy, Bartleby kind of way). And I think authors who do things like killing off their heroes in the end are guilty of a cheap emotional ploy, and they're douchebags. ;)

Hmm you know what's really kept me from writing much for the last 2 years is that I do, in fact, care more and more about my characters. How does that make sense? Well, believe it or not I end up feeling really rotten for pushing hardships on them, especially when I have to go through their emotions and feelings taking a turn for the worse during those parts.

I once said I would never kill off a main character too, because really I myself probably couldn't even handle that. I suppose I could accept it if it was for a good reason with meaning, but I doubt I'd ever do it.

I never really thought about it, but it's a good thing you aren't likely to really screw over someone's day with a horrid sad ending, as much as you draw one's emotions into your stories. That would suck!

So I can't help but wonder, have you ever had trouble with your writing because you feel guilty about what you are making the characters go through? Lately, my more recent in-progress stories have characters that are so much more lively, emotional, and [i]real/i] than my previous works, and it hurts me to hurt them, even though I know it's alright in the end. I guess you could say writing has become an emotional experience for me. Any advice?

I would say no, I don't feel guilty, because I put my characters through bad times almost *precisely* in order to give them the happy ending I've never had.

Also, keep in mind that stories we feel deeply are often actually messages from our subconscious. Like, 'You need to deal with this situation or emotion, but it's too hard to on its own, so instead live it through this character.' So in a way, you probably *need* to put your characters through conflict, since it's really you who's learning the most from the experience.

Hmm while the conflicts my characters go through have nothing to do with anything IRL, what you said about learning about the experience is true. I do try to experience new and unusual things through them. I can't quite put a finger on what it is, but it definitely has to do with that I avoid making others uncomfortable in any way. Heh I'll figure it out eventually.

Wow.
Just.. just...
Wow.
Alex, you've still got it.

'Course I do! ;)

I feel it is important to inform you: I did not fap to this. But what i did had a much more profound effect.

I almost cried.

I'll get into details at a later time (say, tomorrow maybe?) because right now i have to go read that story the other guy wrote as a sequel. by the sounds of it, it's the fap material this epic emotional masterpiece needs to fill my quota for the day.

So yes, note me, and I'll get back to you with an in depth reaction to this wonderous tale, 'kay? :D

Well, hey, I cried a ton while writing this, so don't feel bad! :)

Who said I felt bad? >.>

Internet stories don't generally make me feel emotions besides "horny", so having one manage to nearly bring me to tears is absolutely unheard of. o.o

Also, I'm working for a couple of days, I won't be able to do that in depth thing i wanted to do. Sorry about that. :P

If I get the time though, I do want to inform you of a little idea I had that was inspired by my workplace. I work at Wendy's if you're wondering. >.>

"Internet stories don't generally make me feel emotions besides "horny", so having one manage to nearly bring me to tears is absolutely unheard of. o.o"

Oh, I get it now. And that makes me feel really awesome!! ^__^

"If I get the time though, I do want to inform you of a little idea I had that was inspired by my workplace. I work at Wendy's if you're wondering. >.>"

...using the deep-fry baskets as tanning booths?

Actually, it was just generally a fast food place where the people in the back doing the cooking are also what's being cooked. At Wendy's we have these big press things we use to cook the meat, and i always picture someone cutting off their hand (or other "bits"), putting them on the grill thing (we call it a grill) and pressing it into a flat, cooked up version of itself.

Also, I picture a couple making out and having sex and what not, and the chick's sitting/laying on a flat grill the whole time, coking herself. Gets me hard, it does, 'cause she'd love it, and it would all be okay, since she could regrow any lost or burnt bits. :D

Murrrrrrrrrr... I've thought about sizzling grills myself...

EtherRealty suggested this story to me, and ... I've seriously never read anything as deep and though-provoking as this. I've never seen a story put me into such a deep state of depression, only to pull me out of it and into pure joy by the end.

I've put off watching you for quite awhile, partly because I often lack the self-motivation to read through your small novels, and also because a lot of the themes in your stories and pictures quite honestly squick me a little. Snuff has never sat well with me, even if it's done in a loving, non-permanent way, but ... you pull it off with such masterful craftsmanship ... I don't know what else to say.

You are a genius, sir, and I salute you.

*extremely happy foxauthor*

I think this story may have had the greatest emotional impact of all my work, which makes sense since it basically grabbed me by the lapels and demanded I write it. Most of it was a surprise to me as well. I felt the same things you did while writing it.

I guess I like trying to prove with my stuff that snuff, that ANY fetish, doesn't *have* to be squickable in and of itself. There's always a more appealing form of just about any fetish, even if most of the examples seen are harsh and extreme (I've seen Guro pics that have made me wanna sandblast my retinas). Keep in mind, the snuffie fetish is mostly about feeling safe. Knowing that no matter what happens to you, you'll still exist and you'll be okay. I think that's what makes so many people say stuff to me like, 'Normally I don't like snuff, but I do like this.'

You have made me blush severely, amigo. Thank you.

Bloody awesome work as usual. Something about your stories always seems to scream out "READ ME IN ONE SITTING DAMMIT".

And I do, and I have not regretted it yet.

Murrrrrrr. Telling an author that is like giving him a plate of freshly-baked cookies. Or a blowjob. :)

Thanks, amigo!

Hi AlexReynard.

I would so much know how to read and write english to fully understand, and tell you what I think, but I'll have to deal with the words I know.
It would be easyer to compliment you in French.

Do you know how much a strange and great author you are?
I never ever read anything like this. And novelty are kinda rare.
Feeling most authors try to give, without success. And more of it, really unusual idea. Unusual way of thinking.
About feeling: another exemple is in the soup, I was kind of going to fell asleep with Daniel.
About idea, I've to tell the first part of the story would have also been great alone. Like, once magic come in, it totally change. Less easy to be a believable story. (I mean, even if we believe furry (will/did) exists.
Psychologically, it would have totally other meaning. Even if more sad.
But I really understand why you didn't end there, and I really like anyway.

Even if to tell the trust, I've really got a big problem that Daniel accept to be eaten because of his poor life.
It's suicide, I'm really sorry, but this is really the definition of suicide.

One question: in the pot, he drank, what must have he done if he had to piss? I mean, except if Melissa is in this kind of fetish (wich is really understandable), doesn't the soup contains some?
Another one: I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand why Melissa wasn't able to tell him the truth about reborn after?
I mean, after showing him some tricks before, so he may trust her.
Why did he count "counting 'one mississippi, two mississippi...'."?
"But finally, once all the 't's were dotted and all the 'i's were crossed,", I'm not an english-speaking person, but, seriously, isn't there a mistake?

>little ghosts sit on my shoulders and dictate stuff to me
Nonsens!
Me, when I create text, I do know who wrote using my hands: my teddy bear.

Null, a big fan of your texts!

PS: sorry, but I didn't cryed.
I didn't since years, and I can't find anything to make me cry, even if sometime I really want.

Whoah, kinda long comment, I hope you didn't mind.

Nah, no problem! Detailed feedback is always welcomed.

Hi AlexReynard.

>It would be easyer to compliment you in French.

Sorry, the only French I know I learned from Pepe LePew cartoons. <shrug>

>Do you know how much a strange and great author you are?
>I never ever read anything like this. And novelty are kinda rare.
>Feeling most authors try to give, without success. And more of it, really unusual idea. Unusual way of thinking.

Thanks very much! :)

>Like, once magic come in, it totally change. Less easy to be a believable story. (I mean, even if we believe furry (will/did) exists.
>Psychologically, it would have totally other meaning. Even if more sad.
>But I really understand why you didn't end there, and I really like anyway.

This story partly came about because I once watched a movie as a kid about a polite and pretty witch who captured a little boy to eat him. Of course, it was more of a horror movie situation. But I still kept thinking about what it'd be like if the boy actually *agreed* to be eaten.

>It's suicide, I'm really sorry, but this is really the definition of suicide.

I don't see it quite that way. It's more like Daniel is donating his life for a greater purpose. Like, he believes that giving himself to Melissa will be a way to bring meaning to his life. And I think there's a little part in the back of his mind that somehow instinctually knew he'd somehow be okay afterwards.

>One question: in the pot, he drank, what must have he done if he had to piss? I mean, except if Melissa is in this kind of fetish (wich is really understandable), doesn't the soup contains some?

Maybe she had him stand up and pee over the side into a bucket? Or maybe the recipe includes mouse pee. <shrug>

>Another one: I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand why Melissa wasn't able to tell him the truth about reborn after?
>I mean, after showing him some tricks before, so he may trust her.

Melissa wanted it to see if it was possible for a preyfur to actually agree to being eaten purely out of love. It would have been much easier to just say he'd be reformed afterwards, but Daniel would only be agreeing because he knew he'd be okay. If he agreed without knowing that, it would mean much more.

Also, remember that another witch had given her a vision of Daniel before she left. It probably also told her that she must not reveal herself to him before it was time.

>Why did he count "counting 'one mississippi, two mississippi...'."?

It's an English thing. Saying 'Mississippi' after a number is a way to count off seconds with a little more accuracy than just guessing.

>"But finally, once all the 't's were dotted and all the 'i's were crossed,", I'm not an english-speaking person, but, seriously, isn't there a mistake?

Yeah, it was an intentional mistake just for artistic style. Normally the saying is 'Making sure all the 'i's are dotted and all the 't's are crossed. It's also a little pun on 'eyes crossed'.

>Nonsens!
>Me, when I create text, I do know who wrote using my hands: my teddy bear.

Hahahaha! Actually, I do sometimes write with a plushie on my lap or on my shoulder.

>Null, a big fan of your texts!

I hope you'll continue to enjoy all my stories. ^__^

>PS: sorry, but I didn't cryed.
I didn't since years, and I can't find anything to make me cry, even if sometime I really want.

It's okay. Stories affect everyone in different ways.

>>"But finally, once all the 't's were dotted and all the 'i's were crossed,", I'm not an english-speaking person, but, seriously, isn't there a mistake?

>Yeah, it was an intentional mistake just for artistic style. Normally the saying is 'Making sure all the 'i's are dotted and all the 't's are crossed. It's also a little pun on 'eyes crossed'.

I thought so.
In french, it's more fun.
Q mean ass, and the little thing in the bottom of cul is a tail, (we use the same word for tail and dick).
So don't forget to put the tail behind the Q could also be translated like "don't forget to put the dick in the bottom of the ass".

ROTFL!!!! Oh, that is awesome!!!

BTW, I saw someplace that 'connards' meant 'assholes' and 'vas te faire foutre' meant 'go fuck yourself'. Accurate, or bullshit?

Kind of accurate.
Like, as an insult, I would translate Connard by asshole.
But it come from the word con (wich is the same insult, but shorter), and it is a name for vagina. (Like dick is for penis) (so it's not far away, but not an exact translation)

What would a better word for 'asshole' be? And what about 'vas te faire foutre'?

an exact translation of asshole is: trou du cul
ass is cul (q)
hole is trou

or shortly trou d'cul

About "vas te faire foutre" it was a good translation

Cool! I'll be sure to say, "Vas te faire foutre, tu trou du cul!" to people I don't like and whom I hope don't also speak French. ^__^

"Vas te faire foutre, [nothing here] trou du cul!"

You had a "tu"
I'd be curious to know how you prononce it...

Incorrectly. I'm American, remember? ;)

I know, that's why I did told I'd be curious.

Um... "VAHSS tay FAYR foo-TWAA, troo doo COOL"?

This story came up under several searches when I was on CC. I decided to read it, because other great stories like Professor Bob's Kayla series came up under several searches as well all of which were great. Almost immediately I was put into a state of disbelief when Melissa stated bluntly that after a week she was going to eat Daniel, and asked why he should not be eaten. I made me want to yell out, "because I want to live!" When Daniel tried to escape I was surprised that his room door was unlocked. I was confused and kind of scared as if I were him. I was comforted when Melissa said that after a week he could choose not to be eaten. It calmed me greatly.
It hurt me greatly to know of the rabbit Melissa killed. Imagining what she was feeling made me want to cry. My eyes watered, but my ability to cry is broken. At about the end I began to understand how Danial had never had anything meaningful in his life and wanted to have more meaning in his life. I saw how he was giving his life to her to benefit both of them. I've noticed when life has lost all meaning people seek one last accomplishment before dying. First I envisioned Melissa having him sleep and breaking his neck. I never really saw the giant pot coming.
Even though I am not into vore I thought the ending of bringing him back to life changed the meaning of the story. Until then I saw it as a moral story to accept something difficult to end the suffering of others. The ending did make me happy though because they could keep the relationship they had built. It was a beautiful insightful story. Thank you for writing it.

There is one question that has been nagging at my mind since I read it though: Melissa makes Spaghetti and meat balls. He ate it too and other references to meat were made, but what was that? fakemeat? If so why was she and the other preds not satisfied with it?

This is some of the very best feedback I've ever gotten. Specific, insightful, and flattering. ;)

>When Daniel tried to escape I was surprised that his room door was unlocked. I was confused and kind of scared as if I were him.

I'm always happy to hear stuff like this; it means i succeeded in creating a character you could empathize with. :)

>Even though I am not into vore I thought the ending of bringing him back to life changed the meaning of the story. Until then I saw it as a moral story to accept something difficult to end the suffering of others. The ending did make me happy though because they could keep the relationship they had built. It was a beautiful insightful story. Thank you for writing it.

You're very welcome! And I find it really interesting that that's the moral the story seemed to take for you. What I was going for more was the idea that it's okay to let go of a bad situation. So often, people cling to their normal life, simply because it's normal, even if it's hurting them. Daniel doesn't just let himself die, he lets his connection to his old life and personality die. And in doing so, he frees his real self to be happy. But yes, too, there was also definitely the idea of him letting Melissa eat him as a way of making peace with the bad things he'd done in his life.

>There is one question that has been nagging at my mind since I read it though: Melissa makes Spaghetti and meat balls. He ate it too and other references to meat were made, but what was that? fakemeat? If so why was she and the other preds not satisfied with it?

Ah yes! I put in that meatballs thing deliberately, and it's been misinterpreted more than once. The meat they're eating is real meat, just not from *anthropmorphic* animals. Just because they're furries, there's no reason why there wouldn't still be four-legged critters still around (I use the term 'nonev', for non-evolved). Also, I don't think I emphasized enough a concept I wanted to get across; that the whole idea of segregating prey is meaningless and insane. MOST species are really omnivores, meaning they can eat any kind of food if they have to. Cats and dogs don't eat just meat. And I've read that in had times, rabbits will actually hunt and kill mice. So, in this story, despite the prey side calling predators barbaric, there really is no clear black-and-white divide between them, and both sides eat the same type of diet we humans do now.

BTW, sorry it took a while to reply to this. I've been a busy bee.

>BTW, sorry it took a while to reply to this. I've been a busy bee.

I'm so happy you did though ^^

>You're very welcome! And I find it really interesting that that's the moral the story seemed to take for you. What I was going for more was the idea that it's okay to let go of a bad situation. So often, people cling to their normal life, simply because it's normal, even if it's hurting them. Daniel doesn't just let himself die, he lets his connection to his old life and personality die. And in doing so, he frees his real self to be happy. But yes, too, there was also definitely the idea of him letting Melissa eat him as a way of making peace with the bad things he'd done in his life.

I didn't know he did anything bad? The moral I saw comes somewhat from my druid like beliefs that- we are here on this earth, and here predators eat prey. It isn't pleasant, but that's the way it is, therefore it is not my right to stop the fox from eating the rabbit though it will make me sad. I saw the predator Malissa capture her prey Danial, and thought to myself how in the real world it would not end without hurt, but here she promises to make this painless for him because she has compassion. The balance of nature remains, but neither feels scarred: the prey doesn't feel like a victim, and the predator doesn't feel like a monster. If that makes sense?

>Ah yes! I put in that meatballs thing deliberately, and it's been misinterpreted more than once. The meat they're eating is real meat, just not from *anthropmorphic* animals. Just because they're furries, there's no reason why there wouldn't still be four-legged critters still around (I use the term 'nonev', for non-evolved). Also, I don't think I emphasized enough a concept I wanted to get across; that the whole idea of segregating prey is meaningless and insane. MOST species are really omnivores, meaning they can eat any kind of food if they have to. Cats and dogs don't eat just meat. And I've read that in had times, rabbits will actually hunt and kill mice. So, in this story, despite the prey side calling predators barbaric, there really is no clear black-and-white divide between them, and both sides eat the same type of diet we humans do now.

Wow... That does break my moral a bit then...

>I didn't know he did anything bad? The moral I saw comes somewhat from my druid like beliefs that- we are here on this earth, and here predators eat prey. It isn't pleasant, but that's the way it is, therefore it is not my right to stop the fox from eating the rabbit though it will make me sad. I saw the predator Malissa capture her prey Danial, and thought to myself how in the real world it would not end without hurt, but here she promises to make this painless for him because she has compassion. The balance of nature remains, but neither feels scarred: the prey doesn't feel like a victim, and the predator doesn't feel like a monster. If that makes sense?

Remember when he admitted to being a bully? He wanted to try and make up for that by letting Melissa have him. Also, I agree with you a lot that natural predation is natural. All life on this planet exists by harming or killing other life forms. It's sad, but it's how things are. Still, I think that if you have the ability to live a life that causes the least amount of sufferign possible, you have an obligation to.

>Wow... That does break my moral a bit then...

Well, if it's true for you, it's still true. Just maybe not for this specific scenario. :)

Wow...

That's about all I can say right now. It ended up not being what I expected at all when I started. Maybe I'll be more coherent and verbose later, but it's a quarter to four in the morning and I need to sleep. At any rate, I'm going to have to work my way through your archives now. I only visit FA about once a week, so I may have reading material for months.

Also, I loved some of the similes you used. "Her little tantrum had drained her energy like a cheap foreign battery that comes in a new appliance." That line made me smile.

-Kinto

I'm glad it affected you enough to leave you speechless!

And thank you; I always love creating imaginitive similes and metaphors. And I have had lots of experience with cheap foreign batteries...

Just re-read this- wonderful story as usual! Very emotional without being sappy; and the characters are quite intelligent without seeming psychic. I really like how your young characters are a lot smarter than most fictional children these days. A lot of people don't seem to realize that some kids are smarter than they look.

But there's one trope in this story that has bothered me since I was a kid- the idea that magic is a 'forgotten art'. I don't know about you, but if I had the power to become invisible and turn chickens into gold bars, I'm not gonna forget something like that. Then again, they didn't have sticky notes back then... Let me know when I'm rambling.

Well, I suppose it could be 'forgotten' in the sense that Christians wiped out most of the practitioners with fire and drove the rest underground.

And I'm glad you like that I write smart characters. sometimes I wonder if I'm making my kids too smart, but even if I am, that seems better than when people assume kids are stupider than they are.

Too be honest, yeah there are a few points in your stories where it seems like the kids are a little TOO smart. Then again, I was pretty smart as a kid. Smarter then most of the other kids, at least.

Also, there's the fact that if you make a character TOO realistic, they look like a dumbass. None of us do the right thing every time, and we stumble in our speech much more than we realize. Realistic dialogue would contain oodles of ums, likes and Idunnos. Also, very rarely can we articulate our feelings as well as story characters do, but it makes for a better read that way.

True, true. Uh, they would uh,have some trouble- the readers would have trouble- difficulty, difficulty reading the... the dialogue of the characters. If you uh, wrote it out like you would uh... if you actually said that stuff- the stuff they said.

I c what u did thar.

You my good man have truly made my day, Much like null I usually can't cry, and though I didn't this story has made me feel more emotion than all the sappy novels I've read before combined, I'm not sure if its because it is vore, or if its the furry characters but whatever you did, it worked and I wanted you to know that, I'm normally a very stoic person but the ending did something very rare it made me smile. (to put that in perspective I'll tell you this, a gash I got on my forehead as a boy severed a nerve or two, and it requires quite a bit of focus for me to display facial expressions in real life)
All I can say at this point is keep up the good work, p.s. I would love to see more stories set in this continuum

Wow! <eyebrows go up> Damn, it's always amazing to me to hear I've had such an impact on people with just my words. The severed nerve thing... Damn...

I like to think that the reason so much emotion comes through in my novels is that I feel it myself while writing. that I genuinely care for my characters, I treat them like they're real, and I stay completely true to them. I will never have a character act out-of-character in order to make something in the plot work, for instance.

I may do more in this time period (All my novels take place in the same continuity, pretty much) but it'll depend on whether I get any really good ideas to work with.

Ahhh! I'm not even supposed to like furry stuff, but the sheer talent in this story is incredible. You truly have a way with words that can melt even the coldest of stone-hearts. Thank you for this wonderful piece of literature.

Thanks very, very much!

And who says you're not 'supposed' to like furry stuff? ;)

Haha, I mean, I don't usually find it attractive at all, when people ask me I tell them that furry doesn’t have any special appeal to me, which is true. Nothing against furries, though; I love the lot of you! My point is: this is a great story on so many levels that I can still enjoy it very much.

That said. I’m a big fan of vore, and still, this story didn’t push those buttons at all. Instead it dragged out my inner girl and put a lump in my throat.

(I’m not crying, ‘s just dust in me eye)

ARG I am stupid. So I totally read this on yiffstar/anthrostar/sofurry.whatever, I lost track of how many times the site changed names. Anyway I noticed you said something about your story supposed to be here instead of there after I posted. So, whatever, I'll just carbon copy what I said there here.


Holy shit dude. This reminded me of how I reacted to Sympathy For the Devil, which was on the recommended reading list before this place got rehauled... might be there still, haven't checked.
I am into vore myself, but I was certainly not expecting to see such a fabulous story come out of that damn fetish. I had committed myself to the idea that it was impossible, and I myself never tried it (course I'm more of an action oriented person anyway).
I am also so delighted that you said you had Stephen King disease, I identify with you so much there. I have a novel in the works that started out as just a stupid fetish story that was going to just be ten pages, then became 60, and now I'm rewriting everything for general audiences and am making it into a saga! Characters that were going to be minor even after I decided to expand ended up becoming major characters.
I can only hope that writing from my heart will make the quirky characters okay enough that my book can sell. I'd been feeling unhopeful for the longest time, but this THIS story has recharged me.
You have inspired me.
You have given me drive to keep going. I thank you so much. And this story is four years old, but if you ever come across this comment I would be delighted if we could swap reading material.

Someone tweeted a link to this story the other day, and I have to say...just...wow! This is one of the few stories I can actually read more than once and have it affect me emotionally each time. Usually, once I've read a book or story, I can't read it again since I already know what's going to happen.

Absolutely amazing work. Congrats on making me cry and smile at the same time, multiple times. A very rare thing, indeed. :) It felt like every emotion Daniel was feeling, I felt as well. And dammit, I'm not even into snuff, but I could see myself, if in the same situation as him, actually making the same decision. That's how much your story moved me.

I do have a question though. When Daniel was first cooked, it was mentioned Melissa had leftovers for several days, and after being brought back, she mentioned she had to digest and pass his remains through her system, or something along those lines. But, at the end of the story, she says that after the first time, the whole process of being killed and brought back will take less than a day, implying that Melissa doesn't actually have to fully eat, digest, and pass Daniel's remains before being brought back. Do you explain the whole "being brought back to life" thing in another story, or am I just showing the futility of scientifically analyzing a story that has Magic as a plot point? XD

It would be one hell of a paradox-inducing trip if, upon coming back, Daniel discovered leftovers of himself in the fridge and decided to have a taste, lol! Brains would break!

Keep up the good work. Gonna start on some of your other stories.

And no more drugs for Mr. Grimbly! XD

>This is one of the few stories I can actually read more than once and have it affect me emotionally each time. Usually, once I've read a book or story, I can't read it again since I already know what's going to happen.

DANG!! That's a heck of a compliment! Thanks very much! It really feels good to hear that. and heck, I hav the same reaction every time too. Just mention 'Lydia' and 'band-aid' and i get misty-eyed. :)

>It felt like every emotion Daniel was feeling, I felt as well.

That's how i write; I do my best to feel what the characters feel as i write them.

>And dammit, I'm not even into snuff, but I could see myself, if in the same situation as him, actually making the same decision. That's how much your story moved me.

Thanks again, man. Wow! The 'moral' I was going for here is that sometimes it's a good thing to 'give up'. Our society is very resistant to change; people will keep on doing the same things forever, even if it makes them miserable, because normal feels comfortable. I wanted to show that sometimes letting go can lead to things turning out better than you expected. Here. Daniel lets go of his old life quite literally, and trusts in Melissa's love.

>Do you explain the whole "being brought back to life" thing in another story, or am I just showing the futility of scientifically analyzing a story that has Magic as a plot point? XD

I frankly left it intentionally vague because i didn't know how to explain it myself! <blush> The idea I'd had is that she creates a completely new body for him after she eats him, and the first time is the hardest. After they've created their love-bond, his body will re-form itself.

>It would be one hell of a paradox-inducing trip if, upon coming back, Daniel discovered leftovers of himself in the fridge and decided to have a taste, lol! Brains would break!

Since he has a whole new body, he very well could find leftovers of himself!

I'd try a taste of me. Wouldn't you?

>Keep up the good work. Gonna start on some of your other stories.

I hope you enjoy them! There's a list of all of them on my userpage and at the bottom of all my journals.

>And no more drugs for Mr. Grimbly! XD

He doesn't need drugs! He's naturally like that!

I loved it!!


beautiful. and no matter what anyone else says I like your work alot. dont ever stop!

Thanks very much!! I hope you like my other stories too; I got plenty! :)

I've read the witch in the woods. That is also good. And the Demon one. As to the demon one my beliefs differ a bit as in I don’t think there really is one. I think heaven and hell are here and now but it was a very nice story of childhood preservation and undoing wrongs. Please never stop writing.

>Please never stop writing.

I'm a little backed up at the moment, but I certainly don't plan to ever stop! :)

Also, here's a list of all my writings on FA:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1511412/
Maybe you'll find some you haven't read yet? :)

Oh god (no capital XD)... You... You got talent... I mean for crying out loud, I COULDN'T stop reading. It's 3:47 am now. I intended to stop reading at 1 am. If the rest of your library is even close to this... Well, who needs sleep anyways? XD

Kudos to you, I missed my "private time" and almost all my sleep tonight and I don't regret it a single bit.

I love hearing stuff like this. I love knowing my words have the power to shape other people's lives. It's like I'm god or somethin'! ;)

And i definitely hope you'll give my other stories a try too! :)

You know, as soon as Melissa said that she wouldn't tell him how she avoided detection, I got two main theories:
1) The government was in on it somehow and had forced all neighbors to act normally and that this was some sort of weird experiment.
2) She's a bloody magician or hypnotist of some sort.

When she showed him the pot I pretty much discarded #1. XD

Tonight I'll read another story as well ^^.

This is easily the best story I have EVER read! Just like the person above me I just couldn't stop reading! PURE GOLD! Seriously THANK YOU for writing this!!

Yaaaaaaaay! I'm really happy you liked it so much. Didja have a favorite part?

everything in between "DAY ONE" and "...for now" lol i am serious this was a wonderful story

Awww, you flatter me. :)

I hope you'll like my other stories too. ^__^

will look....after some much needed sleep

Get some good Zs then. and for easy reference, everything of mine is here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1511412/

Late comment is late, but I read this story recently and it makes me think about a lot of things. Specifically, this story. Over and over again I kee thinking about it and it wont leave me alone.

I was really with this story at first, then near the middle it lost me, then had me again, then dove off the deep end. I don't even not like this story, cuz it's a good mo foing story. It's very competently written, the characters are believable and relate-able, and there's lot of juicy foreshadowing. ItevengotmearousedafewtimescuzI'mintothatkindofthingeventhoughIwasneverfondofcookingbutthat'sneitherherenorthere. It's not this stories fault I don't like it, it's mine, and a lot of weird philosophical disagreements that have nothing to do with what the story is trying to do and say. Just dumb little things that piss me off. Were this any other story I would hate it for really petty reasons, but I just can't, cuz it's just that damn good.

Curse you and you're awesome stories of making me think of them ness!

>Were this any other story I would hate it for really petty reasons, but I just can't, cuz it's just that damn good.

This is actually praise that I really treasure, because this is the thing I strive to do; make stories that are good enough to overcome someone's dislike of their content. Thank you very much. I hope you'll enjoy my other works more!

BTW, care to elaborate any on the philosophical disagreements? I love discussing such things.

Mainly I'm just not a fan of character death in what's normally considered "smut" stories. This isn't really smut though, but it manages to bug me in that way on a much deeper level. Also I don't really like magic getting involved >.> I mean, it worked here, it works when it makes sense, it's just all too often people pull magic out their ass as a really bad Deus Ex Machina and now it's sorta my knee jerk reaction to magic to be all like "tut tut."

But then the rational part of me says "Dude, there was so foreshadowing. It was set up! Look at the analogies with the mystery novels and all that jazz!"

And I'm all "I know! But still!"

And it goes "You gotta get over yourself man."

And I do =/

But anyway, thing that bugs me a lot of this whole dying thing. Or like, the way it's handled. I have this HUGE pet peeve about the line "you'll become part of something greater then yourself" and you managed to avoid using it, so it doesn't bug me as much as it might, but still. Here Daniel is, saying he'd have rather had her as a mom, and she basically goes "Awesome, now let me get right on back to killing you." I know she's got a plan and all, but that's fucked up. Why can't she tell him she plans to bring him back? Why can't she tell him he won't die for realz? WHY DOES HE NEED TO DIE AT ALL!? Why can't they just go to the fairy tale land as soon as he realized he didn't actually wanna go home!? It seems so unnecessary and would have avoided a lot of grief, and what if she hadn't been able to bring him back? She's just a sorceress in training, what if she failed? Would have felt pretty bad about not simply going "well, fuck the stew thing, lets just bail" then, huh?

I got nothing against the cheesy little "life bond" thing the nomming caused, they used that in Knights of the Old Republic 2 and I loved that game even though it too is something that if it were any other game I'd hate it, but is it really worth going through all that emotional trauma to make what would be a corny little metaphor literal? Was she going to -try- and hurt him later and now that bond will allow her to be a less responsible mother? She was worried about other predators getting him, so it's not like he's anymore safe then he would have been without going through all that.

Blah, like I said, I like the story. But just dumb little things that shouldn't bug me keep pissing me off >.<'

Oh, and immortality as a concept bugs me too, but here more then ever. She had a big ol' speech early on in the story (when she was flat out lying to his face) about how people should "realize short happy lives are better then long ones." Paraphrased of course. Now neither of them can die. MIXED MESSAGES MUCH?

>Mainly I'm just not a fan of character death in what's normally considered "smut" stories. This isn't really smut though, but it manages to bug me in that way on a much deeper level.

<shrug> I can't help it; I like snuffie stuff. But I also hate when stories kill off characters, especially when it's just to emotionally manipulate the reader. Sure, I enjoy jerking the reader around emotionally, but I'll always end things on a happy note because I care about my characters too damn much.

>Also I don't really like magic getting involved >.> I mean, it worked here, it works when it makes sense, it's just all too often people pull magic out their ass as a really bad Deus Ex Machina and now it's sorta my knee jerk reaction to magic to be all like "tut tut."

Understandable. Sometimes I'll have magic save the day, but like with here, it's because the characters earn their happy ending. I do that a lot. Characters will work their asses off towards achieving a goal, or becoming a better furson, and when they succeed, I make their reward better than expected. Because I can; I'm the author. ;)

>Here Daniel is, saying he'd have rather had her as a mom, and she basically goes "Awesome, now let me get right on back to killing you." I know she's got a plan and all, but that's fucked up. Why can't she tell him she plans to bring him back? Why can't she tell him he won't die for realz? WHY DOES HE NEED TO DIE AT ALL!? Why can't they just go to the fairy tale land as soon as he realized he didn't actually wanna go home!? It seems so unnecessary and would have avoided a lot of grief, and what if she hadn't been able to bring him back? She's just a sorceress in training, what if she failed? Would have felt pretty bad about not simply going "well, fuck the stew thing, lets just bail" then, huh?

These are all excellent and fair questions.

>but is it really worth going through all that emotional trauma to make what would be a corny little metaphor literal?

Yes.

I've come to realize over the years how important trauma is to people. In a strange way, we need it. There's no incentive for us to move forward when everything's handed to us. Think about someone born into obsene wealth or extraordinary good looks. Does that person really have to work at developing their personality and ideas? No; they coast through life. Hard-won victories mean more. The events in my life that have hurt me the most, have also led to me becoming the person I am today. I wouldn't be as smart as I am, as introspective as I am, I wouldn't have the house and friends and possessions I have without the traumas in my past.

For Daniel, this is a story about letting go. People have a tendency to keep on doing whatever feels normal to them, even when it's hurtful and corrosive. Daniel comes to realize that his life is making him a person he does not want to be, and he makes the decision to break away from that life. He makes the decision that he would rather have a short time together with someone who truly loves him, than continue on the path he's on for years and years. I am not a believer in blind faith when it comes to most things, but I make an exception for people. I trust my friends completely, and the rewards are worth any risk. Daniel literally gives his life to someone else, and he is rewarded for that trust.

For Melissa, this is a story about forgiving herself. It is about coming to acceptance that, yes she is a predator, but that does not mean she is a monster. The ritual she performs with Daniel is a mirror for her horrific birthday party. She is recreating it, to give it a different ending. A lot of my stories are about taking something bad and scary, and turning it around; taking away everything that makes it bad and scary. Melissa needs to see the trust that Daniel has in her, and also needs to trust in her own abilities as a witch.

Without accepting the risk of something going wrong, and taking their leap of faith together, Daniel & Melissa's happy ending would have been meaningless. It's like in Disney fairytales where the prince and princess meet, fall instantly in love and go get married. That feels unsatisfying because in our hearts we know it's bullshit. For a relationship to work, there has to be time spent together, getting to know one another, plus honesty and trust.

>Oh, and immortality as a concept bugs me too, but here more then ever. She had a big ol' speech early on in the story (when she was flat out lying to his face) about how people should "realize short happy lives are better then long ones." Paraphrased of course. Now neither of them can die. MIXED MESSAGES MUCH?

Sort of. But it comes back to my desire to see my characters get the happy ending they've earned. It's like the fable of the guy whose axe falls in the river, and he calls out to the Gods to help him find it. A god appears and lifts a golden axe out of the lake. "Is this yours?" The man says no. The god lifts out the guy's real axe. "Yes, that's mine!" And so the god gives him both axes. He's rewarded beyond what he expects, for being honest instead of greedy.

It's not a choice between just short happy lives and long sad ones. Obviously, a long happy life is better than either, if you can manage it. ;)

Hmm, you got me there. I think experiencing hardship is important too. Fucking with peoples emotions in order to make them analyze them and figure out things they never knew about themselves, I can support that. What I would have done personally in that position is different, but that doesn't mean I can't relate to and understand the decisions they made. Yes, giving up your life for someone is the ultimate sign of trust, and she needed to go along with it for her own emotional recovery and all. I would have looked for a third option, but hey that's just me and it all worked out in the end for them anyway, so it's hard to find fault in something that -worked-. But to me, ignore the fact they totally cheated at the end by bringing Daniel back to life, he looked at his shitty life, saw a way to make it better, then chose suicide. Unless you are doing it to save someone elses life (and that opens a whole different bag of chips) choosing death is never the right answer. The choice of just living with Melissa is right there as the ideal option, and he goes "Going back to shitty life, living awesome life here with new mom, or die.... SO, boy stew then?"

That is the philosophical disagreement I have with this story. It takes a young character, forcibly made wise beyond his years, and put him in a position where he had to experience hardship in order to achieve a better life which he realistically could have gone along with, and he still chose to die. Yes, it was his choice, but to me it was the wrong one. Choosing to die over living a better life will always be the wrong choice. You're a nice creator for rewarding him by bringing him back to life and all, but it still strikes a nerve with me.

>Unless you are doing it to save someone elses life (and that opens a whole different bag of chips) choosing death is never the right answer.

I looked at it from the perspective that, this is an animal society and they have different views on death. They understand that preds eat prey. It's something that's accepted, though people don't think about it often. Also, Daniel doesn't see it as him losing his life, but giving it away. He's doing something good with his life by giving it to Melissa.

Plus, he's probably got a bit of a vore streak in him. ;)

Living in a society where death is common place is not only horrendous in and of itself, but it still doesn't change things. He didn't know he was gonna live, so in making this choice to "give himself up as a gift" to Melissa he was making the choice to leave her without him (which I simply do not see how she could have possibly lived with herself after eating her son, different views of death or not), and rob the world of any potential positive changes he might have made to it. He saw the video of the girl, he read the book, he changed his views of how predators are portrayed, so I do not think it would have been at all far fetched for him to have really helped with making changes later on in his life. Martyrs never change things, they alert people that there is something that needs to be changed. I know that argument is kind of void since he is still alive and all, but I'm still working under the view he had before he stepped into the cauldron, when he didn't know he was gonna be ok. Which still bugs me that she couldn't have at least told him, it would have solved the whole "He can't show any hesitance" thing, since either he trusted her to bring him back and everything would be ok, or even if she couldn't he still would have been fine with giving his life to her. A lie of omission is still a lie.

His choice and the reason he made it all just reminds me of the Will Smith move "7 Pounds" where the message was "killing yourself is ok as long as you do it for a good reason and for someone you love," and fuck did that movie piss me off.

... I did totally get that impression near the end from him though >.> You could just see the gears turning in his head: "Other people find it erotic too? Kick ass!"

But I kid XP Like I said, this is a great story cuz, while I dwell on these things, I enjoyed it anyway. I've re-read it even, and I don't re-read stories online very often.

>Living in a society where death is common place is not only horrendous in and of itself,

We kinda already do.

>He didn't know he was gonna live, so in making this choice to "give himself up as a gift" to Melissa he was making the choice to leave her without him (which I simply do not see how she could have possibly lived with herself after eating her son, different views of death or not), and rob the world of any potential positive changes he might have made to it.

All this stuff is fair. But the story's built on emotion and metaphor, so yeah, I guess it does fall apart a bit upon close inspection. Though if it makes people feel how I feel when I wrote it, I think that's enough. (Huge chunks of this story were completely unplanned, BTW.)

>... I did totally get that impression near the end from him though >.> You could just see the gears turning in his head: "Other people find it erotic too? Kick ass!"

Tee hee.

I admit, I like playing with the idea of a vore-accepting society. Like, the people in it deal with death better than we do, with less fear and more acceptance of its inevitability. People know they're going to, so they're more willing to go out in a blaze of glory if they get the chance. (Or should I say vore-y?)

>But I kid XP Like I said, this is a great story cuz, while I dwell on these things, I enjoyed it anyway. I've re-read it even, and I don't re-read stories online very often.

Really? Damn, that's a heckuva compliment in itself!

Unplanned? Yeah, seems this is a textbook case of Stephen King syndrome, you were right. Still, I like Stephen King despite all his faults, and I like this even with it's faults too. And I like over thinking things, but when I was reading this I do feel like I was able to go along with how you might have felt when you were writing it, even if there were a few horror movie moments from my perspective. (You know, those "Don't open that door!" moments you scream at the movie while watching it ;P ) But yeah, it's a good story when you can disagree with it but still accept it. Kudos.

... I didn't cry though xD I saw in a couple of the comments people said they cried a few times. I might just be super genre savvy or something, but just wanted to clarify that.

>But yeah, it's a good story when you can disagree with it but still accept it. Kudos.

^__^

>... I didn't cry though xD I saw in a couple of the comments people said they cried a few times. I might just be super genre savvy or something, but just wanted to clarify that.

Fair enough. I cried myself, but this is definitely a story I wrote with my emotions foremost. Most of my other ones are more head-centric. I hope You'll give them a try to. I'd *love* to hear your reactions to my Bartleby series.

(This should help: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1511412/ )