Have you ever viewed something that made a strange uncomfortable, yet fiery feeling well up inside of you? Not uncomfortable per se. A kind of feeling that draws you to it. A career, sport or piece of art that keeps drawing you to it when you feel lost? A feeling of ''This is meant for me''
I feel this when I watch any kind of animated short film on Youtube. When I was in primary school I would get my work done as quickly as I could so I could get on the school computer and make animations in Powerpoint, I would use the animation tools on that program to create Pokemon battles with my favorite characters at the time. I loved the idea of working on something big, seeing it get closer to completion every single day, kinda like building a house. I didn't show them to anybody, but I didn't care. I was right where I needed to be, making what I love.

High school was tough. So many external stimuli, choices on where your life could go. It becomes so easy for somebody to lose trust in themselves and to simply choose based on salary, how stable the job market is, if you see yourself ''liking'' working in that field.
I knew deep down I wanted to become an animator. That strange feeling I described earlier welled up inside of me whenever I watched them. It was great, but also so uncomfortable. I knew this clicked with me. But getting there seemed so daunting. There was only one animation college in The Netherlands, and I knew I could not afford going there.
Instead I chose to major in Graphic Design. At least having a degree to ''fall back on''. And whenever I got home from school. I would make animations. I created a walkcycle of a Gator character as practice. I love it so much that I wanted to tie a short story to it. Like climbing the branches of a great tree. One thing led to another, more scenes, a script. Character designs. Before I knew it I was working on my first ever short film, Vending machine. It was not fat fur themed, but I didn't care. I was right where I needed to be, making what I love.

In January of 2019 I finished it. After a year and a half of work. I submitted it to film festivals and it was chosen for a couple! I got to see it on the big screen in April. Which has become a bright yellow core memory. And from that came more films. With ups and downs, other days I trusted myself fully with what I made, and other times I didn't believe in myself so much, and I ended up making what I ''thought'' others would enjoy.
In the end. I have found that part of the kid Inside again, sitting in front of the big computer at school, making powerpoints, not caring who sees it, because he's right where he needs to be, making what he loves.

This piece is also dedicated to Bendor. A friend who voiced Alfie (The middle leopard gecko) in the film. And it's a reminder that even though we will all leave the earth eventually. We keep on living through what we create, and while I can see myself happily getting very old doing this. I hope that even when I no longer can, there will still be those that enjoy these films.

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If you have gotten this far into reading, thank you. Perhaps it's because I've had a good week, or because making this piece really made me zoom out and realize how much time has passed since this film was made. Time really flies so fast. I want to enjoy it as much as I can, and I urge you to do the same, the less shits we give, the more fun we can have.
I would also like to thank you for your support. Even moreso if you watched this film. It makes a much bigger difference than you think. And I hope you'll be around for a bit longer. As new film projects are coming 🧡