Hello friends! I'm (sorta) back. Did you miss me? Of course not.

Since that game with the funny wolf character everyone's simping over just came out I thought I'd capitalize on the occasion by writing a short, humorous story about it.

Female protagonist Belle discovers that her brother, male protagonist Wise, is secretly a gay furry, much to his embarrassment.

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A Proxy Mate

It's was another normal day in New Eridu. Rifts in the fabric of space and time were opening up, people were being horribly mutated and killed by monsters, and even ordinary citizens were plagued by predatory Gatcha mechanics. But worst of all, Random Play, the most popular (and only) video store on Sixth Street, had just received a bill for ten-thousand Denny.

Belle looks at the bill in shock. That was enough to buy… well, not much actually, but still, why so high? That was almost a week's profits from the video store gone, and for no apparent reason at all! The bill said "Housekeeping" on it, but from the look of it, no one had been keeping this house for quite some time. She decides to go ask her brother, Wise about it. Maybe he knew something.

Wise sits calmly at the desk, totally engrossed in the computer screen. When his sister appears behind him, he completely disregards her. In fact, he seems not to even notice her looming over his shoulder, at least until she grabs it.

"Brother," she says, "we need to have a talk."

"No, we don't." he replies without even a glance in her direction.

"Wise…" she tightens her grip on his shoulder.

"Ow! Okay, fine. What is it, Belle?" he asks.

"I noticed you've been spending a lot more time using the HDD late at night, after I've gone to bed. Why?"

"Oh, you noticed?" Wise finally reacts, seeming a little flustered. "I'm just… very dedicated to my work, is all."

"Oh really?" Belle frowns, unconvinced. "I don't believe you."

"Well, that's too bad." Says Wise, "But you don't have any evidence to the contrary."

"No… but I do have a witness." Belle grins mischievously. "Fairy, you've been watching him 'work' all this time. Is he telling the truth?"

"Fairy, stay out of this!" Wise shouts.

Fairy hums to life despite his protests.

"Wise's statements are technically true. However based on the content and context of the missions in question, there is a high likelihood he has ulterior motives."

"I hate you, Fairy." Wise groans.

"Ulterior motives, huh?" Belle glares smugly at her brother. "And what might those be?"

"Fairy, don't answer that!" Wise growls.

"Very well, I will not answer. Instead, I will play footage from one of the aforementioned missions. I believe it should speak for itself."

Wise weakly protests, but nonetheless footage begins to play from the largest monitor in the room. The video is dark, having been filmed late at night, but it's still possible to make out Wise, from his two-foot tall Bangboo-eye perspective, looking up at none other than Von Lycaon.

"Master Proxy," Lycaon's deep voice rings out. "Your duty is to guide me through this Hollow, is it not?"

"I mean I don't know if I'd say 'duty', but… yeah." Past-Wise responds.

"Then, with all due respect," says Lycaon, "why are you following behind me? Should you not be leading the way?"

"I, uh… I've got a better view from back here." says Wise.

The camera pans upward, focusing perfectly on Lycaon's ass. From this angle, he indeed has the perfect view.

"Much… much better view…" he can be heard to mumble.

The video feed ends.

Belle frowns, glaring intensely at her brother.

"He… he's a wolf." Wise weakly responds. "He likes to hunt at night. And he can see better in the dark, so I thought…"

The video feed cuts back in. This time, Wise watches from afar as Lycaon fights a group of Etherials. His movements are swift and graceful. Wise watches each one with rapt attention. When the last foe falls, Lycaon stomps it hard. At the same time, he adjusts his cravat with a little flourish. Just before the footage ends, Wise can be heard to mutter six words.

"God, I wish that were me."

Belle's gaze shifts back to her brother, the glare somehow even more intense.

"I was… referring to how fast and, uh… athletic he is. D-don't you wish you were fast?" Wise looks like he might die, and probably wants to.

The video feed returns once more.

"The threat seems to have been eliminated. I believe our work here is done." Lycaon says.

"Yes." The camera bobs as Wise nods enthusiastically. "You did a great job as always, Lycaon. You were a very good boy."

"Why thank you, I… I'm not going to fall for that…"

Lycaon visibly struggles not to wag his tail, and Wise giggles in response. Seeming to regain his composure, Lycaon gives a little bow.

"Thank you for using Victoria Housekeeping. We look forward to serving you again soon."

"So do I…" Wise giggles, sounding giddy. "So do I."

The feed ends. This time, both siblings look unwell, Wise a bit more so than his sister.

"Wise," she groans, "Is that why we're down ten-thousand Denny from last week? Did you pay Von Lycaon to go on a fake mission with you so you could… ogle him?"

"Please don't describe it like that!" Wise yelps.

Belle shakes her head in disappointment.

"Wise," she says, "please tell me you don't have a Thiren fetish."

Wise is silent.

"Wise seems to be having difficulty answering this question." Fairy suddenly chimes in. "However I can confirm that, as the vast majority of internet pornography consumed by Wise contains one or more Thirens, and as this is a statistically significant sample size, it is highly likely that Wise has a Thiren fetish."

"Fairy!" Wise groans.

"Wait a minute!" Belle exclaims. "Is that why you've been spending so much time at the arcade, too? Do you have the hots for that bunny girl who runs the machines?"

"No!" Wise shouts, horrified at the thought.

"To elaborate," Fairy adds, "I can confirm that, as the vast majority of internet pornography consumed by Wise contains one or more men, and as this is a statistically significant sample size, it is highly likely that Wise's sexual attraction is exclusively towards males."

Belle stares blankly at the wall for a moment. Wise buries his face in his hands.

"Okay." Belle says at last. "I'm gonna… go."

Slowly, quietly, without saying another word, she turns and leaves the room, shutting the door gently behind her, leaving Wise alone.

Face still buried in his hands, Wise groans. "What am I gonna do?"

"May I make a suggestion?" asks Fairy.

Wise sighs. "I guess."

"Would you like me to reschedule your meeting with Ben?"