Told some of my closest friends yesterday, been crying on and off since. I knew they’d be supportive but my god, I wish I had the strength to have done this sooner.

Truthfully coming out to myself was half the battle, for so long I was so scared at potentially having to live a life as one of the most despised minority groups. Before when I heard people talking shit on trans people it would sting, because it’s about people I care about. What scared me was that it would now be personal, that people would be saying this stuff about me, that people who have never met me would hate me so much and seek to make my life so much harder.

It’s honestly still something that terrifies me, like as much freedom as this now brings to my life it will undoubtedly be a change for the worse. Everything about my life (which was chaotic enough already) is about to become a million times harder. The tradeoff is that I get to now live authentically. That I can hopefully get more of those moments of sheer joy whenever people I’ve never met automatically refer to me as “she”. I want more of those moments. So at long last I can say it. I am a girl. I am trans. And I think I’m starting to feel like I’m okay with that.