Vent art from April 29th, 2024


This year has been hard. And it’s not even over yet. I feel like I leapt forward but got yanked back just as far. The more I take on the more I’m expected to do. And I can’t. I’m overwhelmed. Every task or project I take on has some thing or another that goes wrong or breaks. Without fail every time the universe senses I have some amount of happiness something has to happen that fucks it up. Like fuck I don’t believe in karma but it’s happened so many damn times.
I know I’m gonna break at some point. I’ve been close several times already. But I don’t know what to do. I have so little control. And I need that control. I’m not a go with the flow person. I need structure and control of my spaces and life. But I don’t have that.

I debated if I should post vent art at all. At the very least I knew I didn’t wanna share it immediately. I don’t want ass pats or pity points. Just getting thoughts out sometimes helps. And somehow my vent art ends up being some of my best work.
I’m so exhausted. I had Covid a few weeks ago and while my symptoms were mild all things considered it made me so damn exhausted. I already struggle with insomnia and being constantly tired. Now that exhaustion in lingering. I’m having a bad patch of even worse sleep. I’m working this week to get a few extra hours and I usually try to draw when I’m not busy but I’m so tired.

I’m managing. But that phrase ‘it can only go up from here’. I try and think that. About my life. About politics. About the general state of the world and the US. Since 2020 especially. But its like I started on land and walked into the sea. Eventually I’ll find the Mariana’s trench and there will be no getting out.
Idk. Ignore me. I’ll delete if needed. I’m hoping to get more art done soon.