
To a wonderful boy who never got to experience the world
The feeling of losing you so early breaks my heart in ways I never knew it could
As a father it was my job to protect you from everything and I failed you immensely
While I was looking forward to have you join me and your mother as a January baby
it grieves me so much to have lost you so soon
though extremely short it may have been, I am happy to have held you close to me
You will never be forgotten, as I love you so much Puppycat, I just wish there was more I could have done
Puppycat
For those who are unaware me and Nakoma were in the process of becoming two very loving and proud parents to a wonderful baby boy we deemed to nickname Puppycat. We had tremendous support from family in real life, and friends throughout this community/in our server who even partook in buying their own little special gifts for Puppycat when he arrived.
On Friday August 30th during the anatomy ultrasound we were hit with two polar opposite news. One being that the baby was growing healthy and perfectly fine, the other being that the baby would undoubtedly be coming early and there isn't much we could do at this given point to halt it. We were devastated by the news and did a lot of research to find out if there was ANYTHING we could do on our end to try and prolong preterm labor. Through all of our research we only stumbled across stories of others with similar experiences, and in return was hit with only a very small sliver of hope. If Puppycat could make it to to 24 weeks gestation than he could be admitted to NICU where he could be put on special treatment to help further his growth giving him a fighting chance of growing to full term and making it.
With the heaviest of hearts in writing this, though we tried and tried. Nakoma went into labor September 4th at 3am and by 6am she had given birth. At only 11oz he was sadly just too small, his lungs not fully developed, and his muscles still strengthening; there was nothing us nor the hospital could due to help him. I held my son until 7am when his little heart beat for the final time and he left us.
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