Well I've not been writing much, but I did come up with a little parody based on my perennial bad luck with D&D and dice games in general. I hope you enjoy despite my terrible singing voice. :)

(Sung to 'Have a Holly Jolly Christmas' from Burl Ives. Karaoke used at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lkr7R8LBmo)

There's no jolly in a critmiss,
Rolling ones is not your friend,
Have bard inspire, and play his lyre
But it won't change the end.

There's no jolly in a critmiss!
Yes we know the twenty's there...
It's 5%, luck won't relent
And there goes all your hair

Oh no, perception roll
For those traps ahead,
Give us a saving throw?
Looks like your PC's dead!

There's no jolly in a critmiss,
And if your hatred is clear
Maybe you should try a Skyrim Modded Playthrough, this year!


((Please don't make me roll again... aw jeez, okay... *rolls* FFFFFFFFFFF ANOTHER NAT 1? THAT'S LIKE... FIVE. IN A ROW! EVERYONE ELSE GETS TO HIT, WHY CAN'T I? AM I CURSED? Oh, wait, I get another attack.. *rolls another 1* ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? This is the eighth die I've used! Why am I STILL PLAYING THIS GAME? ))


Oh ho, advantage roll,
You think that this will do?
Nat 1, and then again,
Time for seppukuuuuu!

There's no jolly in a critmiss!
And in case your brain won't hear,
You should never ever take your trips to Vegas any year!

((That's it! I'm playing Candy Crush!))