I hope your master told you you are worthy?

he dose but with many of the circumstances going it on it makes it hard if not impossible to feel any of it

What you need to do is use things you know you can rely on (like what your master says) to keep you steady against the things you know you can not rely on.

Like using stepping stones to cross a stream of water. The water is still there but try not to step in it, it's unsafe.

Start small. First off when you feel the depression, challenge it. When you feel unloveable or unworthy, challenge it with knowing that can't be true because there are people who love you and find you worthy. Over time you disarm those false feelings, take the weight out of them.

(But it does take effort, each time that negative-self-talk starts up you need to pause and challenge it and leave it there broken and disarmed. Do that until it becomes second nature and that's this 'mental health' thing people keep talking about).

there is a little more then just depression involved stuff that i wouldn't want to talk about in a comment section form simple things of slave issues to more complex things of relationships and such but yeah you are right this cycle was abit worse then the others but i am out of most of it now

Sounds like that's a great first step, and you should take some pride in it. ^_^

pride. is that some thing a slave is aloud?

Ask your master.
But y'know if they say they value you then you need to take their word for it and believe it like it's an order.

his said it to me meny time and i feel like he means it but theres circumstances happening that make it soo hard to feel it

Awww.....I wish I could just hug her and lick those tears rolling down her snout as she cries.

aww thanks i have got out of the worse part of it now so here is hoping to return to normal