Conclusion
A Thursday Prompt story
© 2024 by Walter Reimer

Prompt: right


“So,” the portly beagle said, “it’s perfectly legal, and in these days it’s required.”

“I see.” The judge glanced down at the brief the beagle had followed. For a simple argument, it had quite an extensive appendix, as well as many amicus curiae briefs filed by supporters of the beagle’s contention. The bear guessed that the entire document weighed easily two pounds.

A weighty argument, indeed.

After glancing over the brief’s synopsis one last time, he looked over the notes he had made and those made by his clerk. The bear finally looked up. “It is the decision of this Court that, while the Plaintiff has made a good Constitutional argument in favor of possessing a nuclear weapon to, in his words, ‘Keep those fucking kids off my God-damned yard,’ this Court has not found a compelling argument granting the Plaintiff the right to own a weapon of mass destruction.” He glanced up at the beagle, who had huffed irritably.

“The Court will remind the Counsel for the Plaintiff to exercise self-restraint. The Court further sees no evidence that neighborhood nuclear superiority is required. There are a surfeit of automatic weapons available on the open market, and the Court acknowledges Counsel’s counterargument that the Plaintiff, as a convicted felon, has forfeited his right to possess a firearm. Plaintiff’s prior conviction also argues against him, as it displays a lack of ethics, self-restraint, and responsibility.” The bear paused to sip from a glass of water.

“Notwithstanding the Plaintiff’s rights, and the legal restrictions he has had placed on him, the Court finds no evidence that the Plaintiff has exhausted all other possible remedies to prevent the children in the neighborhood from coming onto his property. Until or unless he has exhausted those remedies, the Plaintiff is denied the relief sought.”

The beagle was on his feet in a second. “The Plaintiff wishes to appeal.”

The bear smiled thinly. “The Plaintiff is well within his rights to request certiorari to the Supreme Court. Considering the size of their docket, there is every possibility that the Plaintiff’s estate will eventually see the case heard.” The judge picked up his gavel and tapped it against the bench. “This proceeding is over. Court is adjourned.”



end