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More from aknightofnie
First chapter of my book I'm writing. Feel free to leave comments and such, since it's not the final version, and revisions are always possible. Also, if you like it or don't, a why would be great to hear, because ultimately I want to grow as a writer.
Also, the picture was done by
darkomi check her out!
Also, the picture was done by
darkomi check her out!
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 85 x 120px
File Size 79.5 kB
Nice!
I really like the choices of animals for the characters, fr rlz.
Bah. There needs to be a movie like this... XD
As for the actual writing itself, great attention to detail and it sounds like you actually had the building plotted out in your head or something haha. There's a few grammatical things goin' down but... Nothing major, it's mostly like when dialogue starts and stops there are missing quotations on like... One sentence ahahah. I'm a super-psycho grammar freak so... y'know XD
But yeah! c:
WHEHW I'm a slow ass reader lulz.
I really like the choices of animals for the characters, fr rlz.
Bah. There needs to be a movie like this... XD
As for the actual writing itself, great attention to detail and it sounds like you actually had the building plotted out in your head or something haha. There's a few grammatical things goin' down but... Nothing major, it's mostly like when dialogue starts and stops there are missing quotations on like... One sentence ahahah. I'm a super-psycho grammar freak so... y'know XD
But yeah! c:
WHEHW I'm a slow ass reader lulz.
Lol I was going through after I posted it and was like "OHDAM!" and fixed shturff XD
And yeah, I actually had to draw several layers of the building so that I could get the spacing and timing down, and still have more to edit in this and another chapter.
But I'm glad that you liked it, as I want to try and get some more exposure to some legit writing, as my smuttier stuff is only a LOT smutty.
As for the character setup, I chose anthro chars so that I could still have some ties to the real world, but allow for anyone reading to be able to let some stuff that will go on later in the story slide without over-thinking it. I have big plans for the next chapter, and I'd be more than happy if you'd want to help edit this thing, as I could use an editor that can be both gentle and eat the thing for breakfast ;3
And yeah, I actually had to draw several layers of the building so that I could get the spacing and timing down, and still have more to edit in this and another chapter.
But I'm glad that you liked it, as I want to try and get some more exposure to some legit writing, as my smuttier stuff is only a LOT smutty.
As for the character setup, I chose anthro chars so that I could still have some ties to the real world, but allow for anyone reading to be able to let some stuff that will go on later in the story slide without over-thinking it. I have big plans for the next chapter, and I'd be more than happy if you'd want to help edit this thing, as I could use an editor that can be both gentle and eat the thing for breakfast ;3
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