with the snow covering the desert, fireworks on the sideline, enjoying the view from afar with a campfire hpoing to help with the snow.

Update Dec 2024 to current

with myself isolated more further and she coming up. i really haven't gotten enough time on anything, which is rude in some context. with Christmas coming in the beginning of the moth, i smply wondered what i am giving to gift out personally, well as much as i can this year as i was last year with only presehts for the famijy. i decided to do the family again, which little in hindsight, barely got. aside, the family, and some cousins in close areas and the cousin i wanted to treat this year. i was invitied to a secret santa that i have no control over who and what gift, it does suck to feel , not gotta lie, which being my second or third SS. with that plan failing, social distancing more with work being more pain in the ass. i will that herer and now and even then, that i do regret not repling more, EVEN with some close ones. the election month and everything in december with planning was stained out of my mind, so down low. then i starting thinking and realized a few revelations that led me to feel like the dilemma is preventing me to go forther. i... i know i got thing in line... but it hurts to see what im potentially sacrificing. felt like before November of that year was smooth sailing but it is all at once. a clash of things. i know i can do. maybe. without work, yet it hurts to leave. at the same time it is vice versa.. i know i wanted to do more but the time ive given was split as well from the MASSIVE brainrot that i got juiced in youtube shorts... i know how many hours maybe was spent with the shorter form contents really impacted my framing for sure, not once i felt so split up until Nov 2024, and i know it did kicked it off from their and it was from the massive copium i was thinking something would change. i am still reeling in grievance from that but i know i need to move on, and just accept the results that the people wanted. and my mind so split that i know i just need regulation on. i meet new people outside as well for my friendship, i got conflicted with circles that I"M not supposed to be in, yet being a listner and a hypeman will get you somewhere from work and to the bar. relations im surprised tnat they quite inviting in, i dont like that.. as a introverted ADHD, not by birth, THAT is for sure.. christmas pass by and working during new years felt insteresting, sucked i wasnt with my family but i guess it is the new enviroment i guess. just felt the same fer usual, still distancng, which i dont want but am, game grind which i dont want but am. want to do more drawings i got in me brain but i got no heart or drive with everything taking it out..

still sitting here in my chair, thankfully i siwtched my OS which is a good thing, but i might lose data doing since transfering large files suck, but in the end, a new OS, new software so i dont have to worry on major crashes again in a good while.. sitting in my chair, well with a two moth absence which is pretty uncalled for, i know.. i do NOT ask for forgiveness. i will admit and be a man, which i am, smoking as well does something,i know soon as well i need a tolerance break. aside. i will not ask for anything but AS a night owl, i will answer on the after noon or now. and for those wanting something a trade or com, i really do apologize, im just not professional of me bruh, i know. i might consider if the tides are right and maybe need of ideas too.. i know for sure i dont want to come to this community rarely asking but i just dont want to jip people of their time and i know my headass need a way to fix that. but inh the mean time, still sitting, re-cooping

(and final. none after that sadly)