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[Mainline/rewrite]
Hello all, I promised a rewrite of corporate espionage, and here it is.
so now onto the personal gripes i had with the original.
for starters, it actually caused me a bit of trouble in figuring out how to continue the main story with the orginal's ending
it wasn't necessarily terrible, but Wanderlust was supposed to be a horny series, then i dropped that bombshell that ironically didn't thematically flow well with the rest of the series.
second, like I said in the earlier journal, To some extent Claire felt like she'd become some kind of primal mary sue something you'd expect in a power fantasy story, someone who's indomitable spirit allowed them to push through and give death the middle finger. and while that works well as a standalone, I felt it didn't really fit Claire's character who has time and time again locked up when confronted.
again, it works well on it's own, and I know there's a lot of suspension of belief throughout the whole series. I mean it would've worked amazing to show the shift in personality, if i'd handled it better. Hell, it really could've done amazingly well contrasting the awakening of her personality, but it was all just too abrupt, and it broke Claire more than I ever wanted to.
I've basically made the personality shift a lot more gradual, and even then by the end It hasn't really solidified itself as a personality shift just yet. and again, like i said in the journal, I've made the horror aspect a little more ambiguous, (or at least a lot less bloody/torturous) so now it ends on a much lighter note than the original.
not to mention there's a little more lore on Claire's brand of vore shenanigans than the original.
Rambling aside, I hope everyone enjoys reading, or at least finds it better than the original.
PDF EDITION:https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59451954/
EDIT: Well I'm definitely sad this wasn't as much of a banger as i'd hoped, but i guess that's to be expected
Edit 2:i would like to state that there were only nine views when I wrote the first edit, and I'd apparently just gotten really impatient, completely forgetting that my stuff usually needs a couple days to get traction.
Hello all, I promised a rewrite of corporate espionage, and here it is.
so now onto the personal gripes i had with the original.
for starters, it actually caused me a bit of trouble in figuring out how to continue the main story with the orginal's ending
it wasn't necessarily terrible, but Wanderlust was supposed to be a horny series, then i dropped that bombshell that ironically didn't thematically flow well with the rest of the series.
second, like I said in the earlier journal, To some extent Claire felt like she'd become some kind of primal mary sue something you'd expect in a power fantasy story, someone who's indomitable spirit allowed them to push through and give death the middle finger. and while that works well as a standalone, I felt it didn't really fit Claire's character who has time and time again locked up when confronted.
again, it works well on it's own, and I know there's a lot of suspension of belief throughout the whole series. I mean it would've worked amazing to show the shift in personality, if i'd handled it better. Hell, it really could've done amazingly well contrasting the awakening of her personality, but it was all just too abrupt, and it broke Claire more than I ever wanted to.
I've basically made the personality shift a lot more gradual, and even then by the end It hasn't really solidified itself as a personality shift just yet. and again, like i said in the journal, I've made the horror aspect a little more ambiguous, (or at least a lot less bloody/torturous) so now it ends on a much lighter note than the original.
not to mention there's a little more lore on Claire's brand of vore shenanigans than the original.
Rambling aside, I hope everyone enjoys reading, or at least finds it better than the original.
PDF EDITION:https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59451954/
EDIT: Well I'm definitely sad this wasn't as much of a banger as i'd hoped, but i guess that's to be expected
Edit 2:i would like to state that there were only nine views when I wrote the first edit, and I'd apparently just gotten really impatient, completely forgetting that my stuff usually needs a couple days to get traction.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 2.35 MB
Listed in Folders
I kinda just feel lost on this one. Last mainline story was Juniper getting her own horse that got carried away and dove into her pussy, and now Claire is escaping after being declared dead post scientific experimentation? I'm only at the second chapter, but there's some major whiplash going on now.
oh yeah, I forgot to put that one down as a spinoff as I hadn't decided at the time of posting whether it was a mainline or a one off. Corporate escape is supposed to be a "few months down the road" event after the weekend Womb.
thanks for the reminder
one final note, I still need to hammer out the flow after all this, so the corporate escape timeline is still ambiguous unfortunately.
yeah, it's a mess.
thanks for the reminder
one final note, I still need to hammer out the flow after all this, so the corporate escape timeline is still ambiguous unfortunately.
yeah, it's a mess.
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