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Featuring the ever lovely
This page kinda hurts. I'm not gonna really explain that actually cause I don't want to dredge up old drama, but this page made me think a lot about past people.
Ultimately you don't get to blame shitty decisions on your past, no matter what your trauma or upbringing is, you always have a choice to do or not do something. We only ever have power in the present moment.
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
Featuring the ever lovely
This page kinda hurts. I'm not gonna really explain that actually cause I don't want to dredge up old drama, but this page made me think a lot about past people.
Ultimately you don't get to blame shitty decisions on your past, no matter what your trauma or upbringing is, you always have a choice to do or not do something. We only ever have power in the present moment.
Category All / ABDL
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1613 x 2285px
File Size 3.58 MB
Listed in Folders
Star is absolutely right. What he did violated the safety and privacy of those other littles. And as if that wasn’t enough, he went on to use that footage he took to blackmail Star into doing what he wanted. You’d think that being a daddy to a little, he would know better than to turn what’s supposed to be an escape into a weapon. I appreciate what he did for Star in the last page, but it doesn’t make up for what he did.
I have sympathy. In fact I have a great deal of sympathy for the situation he is in.
But the fact that his crime has mitigating circumstances doesn't change the crime. This is especially true for a private circle like an abdl group. If you do NOT own your shit, everyone has to choose between the escape that helps them feel recognized and accepted, or holding someone to account. That is an incredible amount of pressure to hang over someone. It's not just a hobby at that point, it's about defending ones own sense of self, and survival instinct can do terrible things to someones perspective.
Trust me, siding with the uncomfortable truth and standing up for someone can get you explained at, accused of just wanting brownie points, and ultimately ostracized. We're all tumbling through this crazy mess of a life and I don't hate anyone for protecting themselves.
...But.
Aiding and abetting is a crime unto itself. No, it doesn't feel good to put what is important to you on the line for someone you don't know very well (or even someone you do I'm sure). But doing the right thing isn't about feeling good, it's about doing the right thing. Most wrongs committed, big and small, have reasons behind them.
Some wrongs can wound too deeply to heal. Movies tell us we have to fix it to earn forgiveness. But sometimes it can't be fixed, sometimes you can't earn forgiveness. You should be willing to just admit you did an awful thing and let people dislike you. I can sympathize that it probably feels cold. That doing so might feel like a waste, you will lose respect and friends and not even improve the situation. Depending on how serious it is, it may be an actual fucking CRIME. I can see how it can become easy to rationalize not facing the truth.
However, sympathy aside, if you let others suffer ostracization and loneliness to save your own ass, then all those excuses you have for why you did what you did, are now excuses for why you continue to victimize those who might stand up for what's right. There has to be a time where you say it's not worth it to play friend group politics and face your own truth even if it's ugly.
Because the worst part is? I think that, overall, the people most likely to give you real sympathy are the same people that are most likely to stand up against what you've done. Life is a messy prospect and maybe it's worth it to some people in the end just to hide from their own truth, but I can't imagine it doesn't poison their perspective, and their life, as time goes on.
But the fact that his crime has mitigating circumstances doesn't change the crime. This is especially true for a private circle like an abdl group. If you do NOT own your shit, everyone has to choose between the escape that helps them feel recognized and accepted, or holding someone to account. That is an incredible amount of pressure to hang over someone. It's not just a hobby at that point, it's about defending ones own sense of self, and survival instinct can do terrible things to someones perspective.
Trust me, siding with the uncomfortable truth and standing up for someone can get you explained at, accused of just wanting brownie points, and ultimately ostracized. We're all tumbling through this crazy mess of a life and I don't hate anyone for protecting themselves.
...But.
Aiding and abetting is a crime unto itself. No, it doesn't feel good to put what is important to you on the line for someone you don't know very well (or even someone you do I'm sure). But doing the right thing isn't about feeling good, it's about doing the right thing. Most wrongs committed, big and small, have reasons behind them.
Some wrongs can wound too deeply to heal. Movies tell us we have to fix it to earn forgiveness. But sometimes it can't be fixed, sometimes you can't earn forgiveness. You should be willing to just admit you did an awful thing and let people dislike you. I can sympathize that it probably feels cold. That doing so might feel like a waste, you will lose respect and friends and not even improve the situation. Depending on how serious it is, it may be an actual fucking CRIME. I can see how it can become easy to rationalize not facing the truth.
However, sympathy aside, if you let others suffer ostracization and loneliness to save your own ass, then all those excuses you have for why you did what you did, are now excuses for why you continue to victimize those who might stand up for what's right. There has to be a time where you say it's not worth it to play friend group politics and face your own truth even if it's ugly.
Because the worst part is? I think that, overall, the people most likely to give you real sympathy are the same people that are most likely to stand up against what you've done. Life is a messy prospect and maybe it's worth it to some people in the end just to hide from their own truth, but I can't imagine it doesn't poison their perspective, and their life, as time goes on.
P.S. I love Star's resting cranky face on the two bottom panels. That face is me when someone starts telling me that they have REAL problems and I need to realize they don't have it easy like I do. ...I get emotion makes you say things you don't mean sometimes. But that face makes me feel validated all the same. :)
I think it took me a long time to understand what happened to me when my real situation happened. In the real version of events, my first daddy person sexually assaulted me, and im not talking just a bounce on the knee like what happens to Star in the comic. I tried to tell people, but he was quite a prominent figure in the AB/DL community at the time and I was just some 20 year old nobody, so all the other folk i tried to warn, basically told me I was lying and that I was making it up for clout.
Some of that hurt more than the actual assault. But (and this is where your comment comes into it) If they had taken my side, it would have messed up that established community, they would have had to hold someone who was a figurehead in that community to account and that would have messed up all the playdates and everyones sense of security. SO it was easier to scapegoat me than to call out the predatory behaviour.
I guess we see simlarities in other areas, how prominent figures in our society get away with awful behaviour for so long, because people dont want to mess up the status quo.
I dropped out of the AB/DL scene for a good few years after that whole mess because i just felt so let down by a bunch of folk I thought were friends.
Some of that hurt more than the actual assault. But (and this is where your comment comes into it) If they had taken my side, it would have messed up that established community, they would have had to hold someone who was a figurehead in that community to account and that would have messed up all the playdates and everyones sense of security. SO it was easier to scapegoat me than to call out the predatory behaviour.
I guess we see simlarities in other areas, how prominent figures in our society get away with awful behaviour for so long, because people dont want to mess up the status quo.
I dropped out of the AB/DL scene for a good few years after that whole mess because i just felt so let down by a bunch of folk I thought were friends.
I would argue that it was brave to hold onto that feeling of being let down, because you were. I can't imagine how tempting it would be for someone really needing their little side to just not talk about it, and try to be at the fringes of the scene and avoid their predator rather than face that feeling of betrayal.
I bet you are a strong little girl shining through even when you're forced to adult like some kind of ...adult. *oogie-shivers*
As for what I did after? I...I don't know what I did, maybe you could say I just ran away, or faded away at least. But I wasn't betrayed by a predator. It's easy to be forgiving of friends even if they hurt you. It felt so icy cold in my soul, though, when that forgiveness faces a wall of utter disappointment. I judge them still, yes I know that's shitty of me. I could accept it and move on but...it's stuck in my throat like a swallowed scream.
Their actions made me very judgemental of them, deep in my heart. I am a worse person for it, and I don't think it's unfair to believe that how they felt and what they did are a factor in why I have to get past an inability to trust. Ruined a great friendship after the fact, but I have to stop typing now because, too much. What's the cure for too much? Too much bourbon.
So I'ma get started on that, well, after i get a few things done. Thanks for letting me chew your ear, both you Star and those reading. (If anyone else did!)
I bet you are a strong little girl shining through even when you're forced to adult like some kind of ...adult. *oogie-shivers*
As for what I did after? I...I don't know what I did, maybe you could say I just ran away, or faded away at least. But I wasn't betrayed by a predator. It's easy to be forgiving of friends even if they hurt you. It felt so icy cold in my soul, though, when that forgiveness faces a wall of utter disappointment. I judge them still, yes I know that's shitty of me. I could accept it and move on but...it's stuck in my throat like a swallowed scream.
Their actions made me very judgemental of them, deep in my heart. I am a worse person for it, and I don't think it's unfair to believe that how they felt and what they did are a factor in why I have to get past an inability to trust. Ruined a great friendship after the fact, but I have to stop typing now because, too much. What's the cure for too much? Too much bourbon.
So I'ma get started on that, well, after i get a few things done. Thanks for letting me chew your ear, both you Star and those reading. (If anyone else did!)
If you ever wanna take this to DM and talk it out, my Dms are open. I would say, its not that easy to forgive friends if you've placed a lot of trust in them. Trust is a really precious thing and once that's broken..it never really is the same thing again. As for Judging people who have hurt you in the past, (admittedly I dont know how far in the past we're talking) its worth considering what the impact of holding onto that feeling does for you, or how it helps you. Or how possibly holding onto that feeling continues to hurt you.
At the risk of sounding like I'm making this about myself...
As someone who's been on both sides of this equation and additional ones, it's... difficult.
I've been short-of-abused by someone of note in a community, and I understand completely where you're coming from, and how horrible it is to not be listened to because speaking out labelled you as a "clout-chaser". It's horrible, and we as a community need to really, really improve on this.
I like to think that in the last 20 years, the furry community as a whole has gotten MUCH better about this. There's still room to improve, don't get me wrong... But at least, I like to think that things have gotten better.
And as someone who's been falsely accused of some pretty horrible things by an individual, and that hurt my standing in the local community as a community manager...
That also very much hurts. I would have appreciated if some of the people that decided to crucify me had come to me for my side of the story instead of just blindly believe the other party - who anyone who was aware of the situation from an observer perspective (and there were a few) could have called out the lies... But that implies that people are willing to accept that not every single "abusive" depictions are true, and some people ARE clout-chasers or are just out to get back at someone they don't like.
Finding out who's real and who's lying is difficult at best - and requires a lot of work from the "listening parties" to get to the kernel of truth, and then confirm everything around that kernel... And, unfortunately, not everyone's willing to do that.
And finally, as an actual community manager, it's difficult to see what some people went through...
And don't have any receipts. So it's a call we have to make - are we potentially removing someone that did nothing wrong based on words alone, or even fake information... Or do we keep them until there's more tangible information brought to us?
I've had to take this decision numerous times, and never is it easy. It always gnaws at me, and sometimes even disgusts me. I had to remove people that did some pretty horrible stuff, admitted to it, and that was easy. But a number of times, it's "friend of friend of friend of friend was told this", and so... do we believe it?
There's no easy way to deal with any of those situations.
Every time I was involved, one way or another, it was an uphill battle... one which I'd much rather NOT do.
(Though I'll admit the whole "community manager" is a choice I made, so I'm more than okay with taking those hits for the community at large)
If we're not willing to lose something because a prominent member of the thing is bad, then we're putting our own enjoyment over someone else's safety/integrity... and that's wrong. Because something that's not worth losing over someone else's health - physical or otherwise - is not worth having, IMO. "Trust, but verify" comes to mind.
Because if the status quo is someone getting assaulted, then eff that status quo.
But the feeling of betrayal is definitely, absolutely, and totally real. And stepping away from the community, if only temporarily, is probably for the best.
And I'm so, so sorry you had to deal with this. It's not fair, it's not good, and you'd think that people would have had the humanity to at least corroborate your words with the other party instead of outright dismissing it - even if it takes time and can be difficult. It's how people should take this, but unfortunately... that's a binary - believe completely or not at all - we will have a hard time moving away from, even if we're taking steps to improve things.
Either way, I'm quite glad and thankful that you managed to come back in spite of this mess and pain.
Our community is far, far better off with you than without you. <3
As someone who's been on both sides of this equation and additional ones, it's... difficult.
I've been short-of-abused by someone of note in a community, and I understand completely where you're coming from, and how horrible it is to not be listened to because speaking out labelled you as a "clout-chaser". It's horrible, and we as a community need to really, really improve on this.
I like to think that in the last 20 years, the furry community as a whole has gotten MUCH better about this. There's still room to improve, don't get me wrong... But at least, I like to think that things have gotten better.
And as someone who's been falsely accused of some pretty horrible things by an individual, and that hurt my standing in the local community as a community manager...
That also very much hurts. I would have appreciated if some of the people that decided to crucify me had come to me for my side of the story instead of just blindly believe the other party - who anyone who was aware of the situation from an observer perspective (and there were a few) could have called out the lies... But that implies that people are willing to accept that not every single "abusive" depictions are true, and some people ARE clout-chasers or are just out to get back at someone they don't like.
Finding out who's real and who's lying is difficult at best - and requires a lot of work from the "listening parties" to get to the kernel of truth, and then confirm everything around that kernel... And, unfortunately, not everyone's willing to do that.
And finally, as an actual community manager, it's difficult to see what some people went through...
And don't have any receipts. So it's a call we have to make - are we potentially removing someone that did nothing wrong based on words alone, or even fake information... Or do we keep them until there's more tangible information brought to us?
I've had to take this decision numerous times, and never is it easy. It always gnaws at me, and sometimes even disgusts me. I had to remove people that did some pretty horrible stuff, admitted to it, and that was easy. But a number of times, it's "friend of friend of friend of friend was told this", and so... do we believe it?
There's no easy way to deal with any of those situations.
Every time I was involved, one way or another, it was an uphill battle... one which I'd much rather NOT do.
(Though I'll admit the whole "community manager" is a choice I made, so I'm more than okay with taking those hits for the community at large)
If we're not willing to lose something because a prominent member of the thing is bad, then we're putting our own enjoyment over someone else's safety/integrity... and that's wrong. Because something that's not worth losing over someone else's health - physical or otherwise - is not worth having, IMO. "Trust, but verify" comes to mind.
Because if the status quo is someone getting assaulted, then eff that status quo.
But the feeling of betrayal is definitely, absolutely, and totally real. And stepping away from the community, if only temporarily, is probably for the best.
And I'm so, so sorry you had to deal with this. It's not fair, it's not good, and you'd think that people would have had the humanity to at least corroborate your words with the other party instead of outright dismissing it - even if it takes time and can be difficult. It's how people should take this, but unfortunately... that's a binary - believe completely or not at all - we will have a hard time moving away from, even if we're taking steps to improve things.
Either way, I'm quite glad and thankful that you managed to come back in spite of this mess and pain.
Our community is far, far better off with you than without you. <3
I've known genuine clout chasers in my life in the past, who have destroyed peoples lives, so I don't envy your position of trying to work out where the evidence lays and having to sit on information until more concrete proof is offered. Believing victims and then finding out sometimes the victims were the abusers in the first place. Humans are messy and complicated and it's very very rarely an open and shut case. Some of what drew me to being a therapist was being really curious about that. What makes someone tick, what makes someone turn a blind eye to some things and be hyper vigilant about others, what causes lack of empathy or what becomes too much to push someone over the edge and say something. How we shut off awareness when it doesnt suit us. Where are our limits? We all strive to grow but growth is seen as very different things by different people.
So 100% everything here...
Life, and as such people, are messy, complicated, and things are never binary/black-and-white...
And goes to show are much of a good person you are that you not only understand what I mean, but also went into a field that would allow you to better understand AND help people figure all this out. <3
You're an amazing person. :3
Life, and as such people, are messy, complicated, and things are never binary/black-and-white...
And goes to show are much of a good person you are that you not only understand what I mean, but also went into a field that would allow you to better understand AND help people figure all this out. <3
You're an amazing person. :3
Havin had to out someone in a very closeknit LARP community of bein an abuser couple, after i found out a friend of mine had also been targeted by them; it is truly extremely hard to do that — and im so glad that when i did, my community overwhelmingly to all but the couple rly, believed us and sought to oust the abusers from the community... Which is rly good to, bcuz more victims came fwd and ofc, the reason we all found it so hard to come fwd was bcuz of the risk of losin this community we had forged by havin them believed over us... And these ppl were relatively new, the worry still existed for all of us bcuz its such a hard worry to shake
I just wish i hadnt been the one to initially introduce them to said LARP group, but i didnt know what they were at that time...
I just wish i hadnt been the one to initially introduce them to said LARP group, but i didnt know what they were at that time...
That is a hard place to be in. It took years for my relationship to reach an understanding peace about my little side and not only my partners acceptance of that side of me, but her lack of desire to be part of that with me. The rest of the relationship has to be very strong. But star nails it in the lower left: make it work, or separate. Simple as. Easier said than done, but what Marellis did up to this point was capricious, selfish, and cruel.
Thank you ^_^ your comic has been one of those outlets, but my wife has gotten to a place where she even encourages some things about my little side, anything that isn't explicitly ABDL, like she thinks coloring books are good because they get me off my phone lol and I do get ample time for that as well. I'm proud of the balance we've struck with it.
The fact that this entire comic series is like 10 years old and chronologically its only been less than a month in this comics time is kinda mind numbing. XD
I feel like Sarge is starting to open up, seeing is how him and Star are now both in the same ship. Maybe hes just a good guy but he has some bent up stuff hes gotta work out.
I feel like Sarge is starting to open up, seeing is how him and Star are now both in the same ship. Maybe hes just a good guy but he has some bent up stuff hes gotta work out.
yeah a lot has happened in like 4 weeks huh. in fairness that was very similar to me in 2005 where suddenly a million things happened in the space of 3 months as I was exploring my little side. Even now its hard to work out the chronological order of some of it as it was so on top of one another that it feels dizzying to think about.
The part about not using your trauma as an excuse hits hard from multiple angles. Partially because my parents were and still are in denial about the ways they abused me because "I had it better than they did" but also in large part because I hate when my baggage causes me to lash out at the people I love. It's not the person I want to be. If I let myself make excuses I'll be no better than the ones who hurt me and I refuse to ever become that person.
This. This is whats so hard. Trying to avoid becoming the thing that hurt you, but yet its your only mold, your DNA, the example they set for you. It's hard not to fall back on, at least for me, what was decades of poor behavior. It's hard to tell where to draw the line and forgive yourself for slipping up, and how to prevent it in the future, and worse to apologize for it to those you hurt.
Oh! I thought of something, and my fingers are crossed that it doesn't get lost in the sea of comments lol
As a future therapist, what would you do if you had a client like him? Not that I believe that Marello would ever disclose this sort of thing willingly, but this is a hypothetical.
But someone who had done something shitty, recorded people without their consent, and clearly didn't have remorse about it.
I'm curious to hear what you think.
As a future therapist, what would you do if you had a client like him? Not that I believe that Marello would ever disclose this sort of thing willingly, but this is a hypothetical.
But someone who had done something shitty, recorded people without their consent, and clearly didn't have remorse about it.
I'm curious to hear what you think.
So, I totally expect to come up against people who challenge who I am.
A client can come with all sorts of stuff, but it's contracted that obviously if they're talking about hurting themselves or others then it would be communicated that that as a counsellor i could break confidentiality and go to the police.
If someone like marello came in and said hey I recorded people at a kink event without their consent but i only did it once and its never happened since. Initially I wouldnt report that to the police as its a past crime, We would certainly explore that situation and understand what happened, do some experimental work to hopefully raise awareness in him about how the victims may have felt and maybe help him get in touch with emotions like remorse/guilt/shame etc, So say if he told me the story and then wanted to move on quickly I could explore what the need to move away quickly from the subject would be about, what is he trying to run away from.
If he came in and said, hey ive been doing this and im gonna keep doing it, then as its a current ongoing crime Id be more inclined to report it in. Id still work with them, to explore what secretly recording people does for him, what makes asking for consent tricky for him, but as a therapist this is all speculation as we don't actually have an agenda in gestalt therapy other than raising awareness in the client. More importantly id be making very detailed notes and taking this to my supervisor.
Ultimately there will be people who come into my therapy room who I wont be able to help, perhaps our personalities clash too much or they have such strongly opposing views to my own or have a similar issue to something Im currently going through (for example if a therapist has just had a bereavement, they may not be able to see clients who are going through the same thing due to their own processes getting in the way) so in that case it would be my job to be upfront with the client about being unable to work with their specific problem and i would help them to source another therapist.
A client can come with all sorts of stuff, but it's contracted that obviously if they're talking about hurting themselves or others then it would be communicated that that as a counsellor i could break confidentiality and go to the police.
If someone like marello came in and said hey I recorded people at a kink event without their consent but i only did it once and its never happened since. Initially I wouldnt report that to the police as its a past crime, We would certainly explore that situation and understand what happened, do some experimental work to hopefully raise awareness in him about how the victims may have felt and maybe help him get in touch with emotions like remorse/guilt/shame etc, So say if he told me the story and then wanted to move on quickly I could explore what the need to move away quickly from the subject would be about, what is he trying to run away from.
If he came in and said, hey ive been doing this and im gonna keep doing it, then as its a current ongoing crime Id be more inclined to report it in. Id still work with them, to explore what secretly recording people does for him, what makes asking for consent tricky for him, but as a therapist this is all speculation as we don't actually have an agenda in gestalt therapy other than raising awareness in the client. More importantly id be making very detailed notes and taking this to my supervisor.
Ultimately there will be people who come into my therapy room who I wont be able to help, perhaps our personalities clash too much or they have such strongly opposing views to my own or have a similar issue to something Im currently going through (for example if a therapist has just had a bereavement, they may not be able to see clients who are going through the same thing due to their own processes getting in the way) so in that case it would be my job to be upfront with the client about being unable to work with their specific problem and i would help them to source another therapist.
The “I’ve only been exploring this part of me for a few weeks” made me chuckle, then touch the remnants of my grey hair a remember all the wonderful things we did as kids when Shine started. ;)))))
The rest of this is so amazingly relevant, everyone can relate to the damage people do out of not being brave to fix their own problems.
The rest of this is so amazingly relevant, everyone can relate to the damage people do out of not being brave to fix their own problems.
I am so proud of Star here. Well Marellis' relationship suck, that is no way an excuse to do what he did throughout the comic. I personally found it really pathetic and I'm glad to know my loathing of him is even more justified. Like for real, when I was reading Marellis' dialogue, I kept thinking in a mocking tone "oh boo hoo, I'm a sergeant in a military base but I'm so lonely. Poor me". Star it's so inspirational for telling it what it is, I really want to emulate her if I'm ever outdated at ABDL.
I love that Star got to say this to him, and i too have ppl in my past, and hell, even a past version of myself, who wudve perpetuated this shite with the same sort of logic Sarge uses there
Honestly, i needed a wakeup call to my own past problems once and i got it; when my drinkin finally hurt someone else instd of just me — that wakeup call is why ive been sober for six yrs since, bcuz the first time that happened; i had tons of friends immediately tell me the next day i needed to quit — and i alrdy felt like i needed to quit when i found out what had happened; but i dont think id still be sober today if folk around me werent willin to be like Star here and make clear that we either fix the underlyin prob, or we're only gonna keep hurtin ppl
Sarge needs this wakeup call and its very validatin and satisfyin to see him get it from Star. Hopefully he listens in the end; now that he actually has to sit with it, and cant continue to try to fight her words
Honestly, i needed a wakeup call to my own past problems once and i got it; when my drinkin finally hurt someone else instd of just me — that wakeup call is why ive been sober for six yrs since, bcuz the first time that happened; i had tons of friends immediately tell me the next day i needed to quit — and i alrdy felt like i needed to quit when i found out what had happened; but i dont think id still be sober today if folk around me werent willin to be like Star here and make clear that we either fix the underlyin prob, or we're only gonna keep hurtin ppl
Sarge needs this wakeup call and its very validatin and satisfyin to see him get it from Star. Hopefully he listens in the end; now that he actually has to sit with it, and cant continue to try to fight her words
Stuff like this makes me SO glad I met my own wife on F-list. We're both kinksters, we're both into the same stuff, we both know damn well what we like and we share it with each other. Seeing people in relationships like this is just... painful.
Less painful in Sarge's case given what he did, but still painful knowing that the isolation was a factor in him doing that.
Less painful in Sarge's case given what he did, but still painful knowing that the isolation was a factor in him doing that.
How we are nurtured absolutely impacts our personality, and may make it feel like we have little choice or no choice at all in how we tackle a situation, but our past is not all we are and falling back on the excuse of a bad chilhood makes for bad people isnt true. It certainly ups the difficulty level if someone hasnt had support and love in their childhood. It can make it hard to contact the world or trust others or how we connect to people, gives us all sort of patterns of behaviour that can be hard to shake, but with time and work and raising awareness of our own processes we can absolutely expand our choice range.
Well i have to say that this page remind me a lot of what happen to me on the french side of the AB/DL, i have place my trust in People i belived i was friends with, but when one my daddy as tried to R*pe me, this same friends that i was counting on to back me up and help me to deal with this situation they all and without execptions all left me to "dead" just because if they started to back me up they will be see as "bad people" by the rest of the community i was myself part at this time... so if it wasn't for a mommy i meet along the start of one of my worst depression time i think i would have end myself back at the time
Dare I say, I think he was about to apologize? "Do you think you could- ever forgive me?" ... maybe im naive. I just hope they both can find redemption. How he treated star was 100% wrong and she has every right to be mad and take it on her own terms. (Especially being they're still actively in the consequences of his actions, but now it's getting them both out). Star leaves this with more confidence and self acceptance, hopefully sarge leaves with empathy and forgiveness.
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