Andrew Horowitz, the green tie keyboardist for the band Tally Hall, was out for a hike in the woods one afternoon, enjoying the fresh air and exercise, when he heard a blood-curdling scream. Rushing through the dense foliage, his heart pounding, he soon came upon a terrifying scene.

A massive brown bear, easily ten feet tall on its hind legs, had his bandmate Joe Hawley cornered against a tree, its yellowed fangs bared in a vicious snarl. Joe, still clutching his guitar, let out a whimper of pure terror. The beast reared back, preparing to deliver a bone-crushing blow.

"Hey bear! Over here!" Andrew called out, waving his arms wildly.

The bear swiveled its shaggy head, those cold brown eyes locking onto him. It lumbered forward on all fours, moving with shocking speed for its bulk. Andrew barely had time to gulp before the beast was upon him, knocking him to the forest floor in a tangle of fur and limbs.

Andrew felt the bear's hot breath wash over his face, its fetid scent filling his nostrils. Up close, he could see every individual bristle of coarse fur, every pustule on its snout. The creature's jaws gaped wide, a red-black tunnel lined with dagger-like teeth. There was no escape now.

But Andrew would do anything to save his friend. He opened his mouth impossibly wide, his jaws unhinging with a sickening pop. The bear paused, momentarily confused by this bizarre reaction. Andrew took that moment and lunged forward, engulfing the beast's entire snout in his mouth.

His throat stretched around the bear's face as inch after inch of furry bulk slid down his gullet. The bear thrashed and struggled but Andrew persisted, drawing it in, swallowing around the bear's struggles with loud GLUUURRRP noises.

The bear's claws scrabbled at the inside of his throat, drawing blood, but still Andrew swallowed, determined. With a final Herculean gulp, the creature's entire head vanished into his maw. His neck bulged obscenely with the bear's shape as more and more of its body was pulled in.

Andrew's stomach groaned as it distended, stretching wider and wider to accommodate the bear's mass. His belly became a taught drum, the outline of the bear clearly visible through his straining shirt. The creature's struggles grew weaker as its air supply dwindled. Andrew could feel its bulky head squirming deep in his stomach, its claws flailing uselessly.

Finally, the bear was all the way inside, squirming in the tight confines of Andrew's gut. He lay there on the forest loam, groaning as his body worked to digest the beast. Bizarre wet crunching sounds emanated from his distended belly as acids and enzymes broke down furry flesh and bone into slurry.

After a long, agonizing period, the bear's struggles ceased. Andrew's stomach gurgled louder, churning the bear into indigestible mush. He pushed himself up on quivering arms, looking to Joe.

"Y-you okay, man?" he gasped out, stomach still sloshing and groaning.

Joe just stared in horrified wonder, his face pale. "Holy shit, Andrew! How are you...I mean...You just ate a fucking bear!"

Andrew nodded weakly. "I had to. To save you."

He staggered to his feet, wobbling under the bear's weight in his guts. But he'd do it again in a heartbeat. His bandmate was alive and safe.

"I'm going to be tossing it soon," Andrew warned with a burp. "You might want to step back."

As if on cue, his stomach clenched and lurched. Andrew doubled over and let out a mighty belch. A torrent of semi-digested bear slurry erupted from his mouth and nostrils, splattering the forest floor. The stench was beyond vile. Joe recoiled, gagging at the noxious sight.

Andrew continued to retch and vomit for a good long while, until the last clumps of bear had been expelled. He swiped his mouth and rose, wincing. "Well that sucked. I'm going to be tasting bear for days."

Joe shook his head in amazement. "You saved my life, man. I owe you one. A big one."

Andrew just shrugged, still a bit green. "That's what friends are for. Besides, it's not every day you get to say a bear shit inside you."

The two gingerly picked their way out of the woods, Andrew's stomach still groaning with the aftermath of his desperate meal. He knew he'd never forget the day he ate a bear to save his friend. Not with the lingering taste in his mouth.

But hey, that was the kind of bond they shared as bandmates. A bond stronger than any predator or peril. They'd always have each others' backs, no matter what crazy situations they found themselves in. That's just the Tally Hall way.