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The Seven Second Solution - A Dirk Branson mystery
There had been a discussion on discord earlier about the worst opening lines of novels ever written, and one participant shared an example that had been lodged in their brain ever since they had first encountered it:
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
My own brain could not resist trying to fix it, and as a result I ended up writing a thing. Here it is, and I hope you enjoy it.
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
My own brain could not resist trying to fix it, and as a result I ended up writing a thing. Here it is, and I hope you enjoy it.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 5.6 kB
Listed in Folders
This made me go back and search for "Jabberwocky in ToonTown", which I found at https://ladymondegreen.com/batya/jabbertoon.html — the first paragraph:
"It was brillig, brillig as it gets on a hot summer afternoon, and toves were gyring and gimbaling in the wabe. Business as usual. Not just any toves, now, I'm talking about the slithy ones, slithy as a cat trapped in a fish market on a hot summer day when the smell penetrates the city like a wet fog."
"It was brillig, brillig as it gets on a hot summer afternoon, and toves were gyring and gimbaling in the wabe. Business as usual. Not just any toves, now, I'm talking about the slithy ones, slithy as a cat trapped in a fish market on a hot summer day when the smell penetrates the city like a wet fog."
"It was a dark and stormy night ..."
The Bulwer-Lytton contest has concluded. Entries are archived here:
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/winners
The Bulwer-Lytton contest has concluded. Entries are archived here:
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/winners
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