Picture of Yuki I took in 2010. This August will be 5 years since she and Kisa will have been gone. When people say grief gets easier I really think they just mean that more layers get added to it. It doesn’t get easier. You just become comfortable with it. Sometimes it still hits like it’s new. Some days it’s a fond memory.

I got yuki when I was working my first job. She was a very sick kitten they were giving away at the mall. I was working at the movie theater and my paychecks paid for her vet visits and medicine. She made it to 12.


Kisa died on the first of August and then Yuki went down 20 days after her. They say they’re good at hiding when something is wrong with them. But she suddenly had diabetes. Something that hadn’t been picked up on any other vet visit. And I blamed myself for the longest time on not picking up on it. Sometimes I still do. At first we thought she was grieving Kisa, then we took her in and she was in and out of the vet all week. They said she had a 50/50 chance. I don’t know why they kept sending her home. Sometimes I think she did better at the vets.

They observed her over night one time. Then she perked back up. Looking back I think it was just that second wind that people and animals sometimes get before they pass. That’s why it hurt so bad when she crashed again. I’ll never forget her little face peeking up at me from the end of the bed her last night. She was so slow. But she wanted to be next to me. She wanted to sleep under my blanket like she used to.

If there’s another side or whatever I hope Kisa waited for her. I hope they were both there to greet Atari.