✨🖤 Tea (aka OpportuniTEA if you’re nasty) 🖤✨
Selfie drop like: hey bestie, did it hurt? when you realized I’m 50% silly, 50% wife material, and 100% your new hyperfixation? j/ seriously

Hi, I'm Tea — your neighborhood goth gremlin with a deep ass voice and eyeliner sharp enough to slice through timelines. I wake up before the sun like I’m preparing for witchcraft, collect crystals like Pokémon, and my socks? Staying Unmatched

Yes, I will cook up coconut curry while explaining string theory.
Yes, random drives out at 3 am to take a left at every red light and listen to chill as music on shuffle.
Yes, I will show you my massive BD/sex toy collection cause as a reviewer its my job, and SERIOUS about safety in the bedroom. Educate yourself folks. Be safe.
Yes, I do have a collection of monster romance books thicker than your emotional baggage.
No, I’m not here to babysit your feelings. I'm not your safe space bestie.

✨ Married, poly, pierced, and perpetually oscillating between “cottagecore forest sprite” and “mean ass goth who knows too much about rocks.”
✨ I write lore at 3am, smother my cats in unsolicited affection, and garden like I’m preparing for the apocalypse but make it ✨aesthetic✨ Gotta keep the medical stock, stocked homies.
✨ On bad flare days, I’m a certified bed goblin. Still hot tho.

If you’re here from a commission, cool, love that for you — but this is not the “become Tea’s bestie” arc. We keep it professional unless I throw glitter at you first. 💅

So anyway, here’s my face. Enchant accordingly.


COMMISSION PRICES ✦ T.O.S ✦ WILL AND WILL NOT DRAW LIST ✦ QUEUE
COMMISSIONS ARE CURRENTLY: OPEN
CHECK OUT MY OPEN YCHS
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