(Do I need a content warning for this description? Caution: Bunny angst ahead.)

"Hey kids! Wanna see me do something clever?
Boing! Playing cards!
Boom! More playing cards!
Tschak! Even more playing cards!
Eh... I used to love being able to do this...

I still remember the first time I did this in front of Katie. She said, 'Wow, how'd you do that?'
Of course I knew, she meant it as an expression of surprise and not a real question, but I still felt like she deserved an answer.
So I thought about it, and then I told her, 'Well, if I could explain it, would it still be magic?'

That wasn't on the show, by the way.

Anyway, everything... everything's different now. Want to hear me explain it?

selectObjectClassByID
createObjectFromClass
setDefaultObjectParameters
setObjectVelocity
addObjectToPhysics
selectAnchorPointByID
getObjectCoordinates
setObjectCoordinates
getCurrentScene
addObjectToScene
enableObject

I left out a few 'dup's and 'drop's et cetera for simplicity's sake, but that's essentially it.
Repeat that a few times, and here's a handful of cards for ya'. Ta-da!
I can have 254 of these on screen at one time. Plus one if I temporarily deallocate my hat, but I won't be doing that.
Here, have some more. Playing cards. Playing cards. Playing cards.
Let's make it an even hundred.
Look, I can even move them around. That's actually something I couldn't do on the show! I can make a sphere. A cube. A torus. An icosahedron. Katie Finch. Peter Tiger. Myself.
Pretty clever programming, isn't it? Yes, I said programming! It's not magic, it's all code! There's no magic here! I don't have any magic left! I'm not even sure I believe in magic any more!

Good gravy, that's the first time I've ever said that out loud. I feel so... I feel injured. Mortally injured.

Ugh, look at this mess. I'm starting to hate these things. Here, have a close look at one. There's something else wrong here. Do you see?
There are no numbers on these cards! No designs, nothing! There's nothing here! It's all fake! As fake as everything else on this
[ERROR]
screen!

You heard me! ...Pardon my bleep.

Last June 11th at 6:41 AM and 12 sec-- never mind all that. Someone asked me if I was even capable of pain. I think I answered too quickly... but now you don't need to ask, do you? You're looking at it. This is it. All over this invisible virtual floor.

Okay, that's enough of that. Delete.

Sigh. Sorry to vent like that. I've been holding that in since, well... since before we closed. Thanks for listening.

And I believe I speak for all five of us when I say: Thank you for visiting Papa Petals' Play & Pleasure Palace. We hope you've enjoyed your stay, and all of us here at the Palace look forward to seeing you again... some... day... Preferably not until we reopen, okay?

Nah, forget that. Sooner will be fine."