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I am ok and have talked through things with the friends that I was feeling this way with and thought about not uploading this at all, I just work through my emotions with art
but I feel its important to remind people that inaction is still a action.
You and your friends both deserve clarity and communication.
Just avoiding things that upset, bother or even things that are just 'not possible right this moment' can cause rifts in a friendship if you don't speak up.
but I feel its important to remind people that inaction is still a action.
You and your friends both deserve clarity and communication.
Just avoiding things that upset, bother or even things that are just 'not possible right this moment' can cause rifts in a friendship if you don't speak up.
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I understand that feeling, wanting to do something with someone, only to ghosted waiting for a reply. It sucks, but, I can't think of a reply for an RP, I stop replying or things start going wrong.
Other times, I just CAN'T reply at the time. Whether it be lack of internet, not at my PC, no electricity at all or I'm asleep.
Other times, I just CAN'T reply at the time. Whether it be lack of internet, not at my PC, no electricity at all or I'm asleep.
I never really thought about what to say other than "Thinking of a Reply". But, if I'm going to be away, I leave a status on DA that says I'll be away from my PC or if the electricity/ internet goes out, that means I won't be able to reply. So, in the instance I can't reply due to the power being out, I say ahead of time that if my power is out for a few days, that means RPs should be considered "on hold". So, if it happens, my watchers know I'm not ghosting me them on purpose, it's because the instance of it couldn't be helped.
I appreciate you uploading this even if you already worked through it with those you were concerned with - It helps people like me, who feel similarly, feel validated, and have another way to express this feeling if we lacked the words before.
I understand this pain, it is never pleasant Both giving and receiving... I admit, I have inflicted it on others, and to become cognizant of that is important.
Most importantly of all, communication rather than assuming solves many interpersonal conflicts. Proper and effective communication is a difficult skill, and everyone can always learn to do it better.
Rambling aside, I hope that you were able to work through it well with those friends. Thank you for sharing this.
I understand this pain, it is never pleasant Both giving and receiving... I admit, I have inflicted it on others, and to become cognizant of that is important.
Most importantly of all, communication rather than assuming solves many interpersonal conflicts. Proper and effective communication is a difficult skill, and everyone can always learn to do it better.
Rambling aside, I hope that you were able to work through it well with those friends. Thank you for sharing this.
This is easily the most relatable thing I can possibly fathom.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but it's better to just tell me you're busy/occupied with stuff, even if that "stuff" is something you are doing by your lonesome - I don't take offense to you needing your me-time, I am more than capable of doing the same if I just get a response telling me I can be free.
It's a different kind of agony to offer to do something with someone you care about and then not hear back from them until much later; especially since I don't want to make plans and then ask someone else to do stuff until I hear back from them. Conversely, I can go months without speaking with someone and then either of us drop into our DMs on a whim like besties, because I dont tether myself to speaking every day with people because my proverbial social battery would always be depleted.
It's a weird thing, to be sure, but goodness I can just as happily be satisfied with a simple answer of any kind
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but it's better to just tell me you're busy/occupied with stuff, even if that "stuff" is something you are doing by your lonesome - I don't take offense to you needing your me-time, I am more than capable of doing the same if I just get a response telling me I can be free.
It's a different kind of agony to offer to do something with someone you care about and then not hear back from them until much later; especially since I don't want to make plans and then ask someone else to do stuff until I hear back from them. Conversely, I can go months without speaking with someone and then either of us drop into our DMs on a whim like besties, because I dont tether myself to speaking every day with people because my proverbial social battery would always be depleted.
It's a weird thing, to be sure, but goodness I can just as happily be satisfied with a simple answer of any kind
THIS!
My neurodivergent and paranoid ass starts to just wait and spiral down the "I can't do anything while waiting and they are probably just ignoring me and hate me"-path..
Just saying "not now" or anything like that, when asked to do something with me, is almost merciful. It's kinder than ghosting and leaving me wonder have I done something wrong and what it is and am I hated suddenly.
I have couple of friends who IMMEDIATELY go silent when I ask would they want to have a call in Discord and/or play games with me - they might answer after a long time, sometimes after hours. It hurts every single time and as time goes by, I start to get annoyed and offended. They probably don't want to hang out with me, which would be valid but they should at least tell it to me. They might be busy, yeah that's also true but they should at least TRY to send me a message saying "not now". Without this small, quick action/words I start to lose interest on the whole friendship and turn bitter, to be honest.
I love my friends and I understand perfectly if they can't or even want to hang out, but all I ask is that they would just tell it to me, so I won't waste hours on waiting and miss opportunities of hanging out other people...
I am so sorry, this became a rant about me and my situation, I just relate to this so hard and understand you..
I am sorry you've had to deal with this situation also, even lost friends over this. I really wish and hope people would start being more honest and just give us 2 seconds of their time to say "not now", so we can just go on with our business, do something else.
Sending you a virtual hug and strength, I shall conjure people to start talking more and be more honest.
My neurodivergent and paranoid ass starts to just wait and spiral down the "I can't do anything while waiting and they are probably just ignoring me and hate me"-path..
Just saying "not now" or anything like that, when asked to do something with me, is almost merciful. It's kinder than ghosting and leaving me wonder have I done something wrong and what it is and am I hated suddenly.
I have couple of friends who IMMEDIATELY go silent when I ask would they want to have a call in Discord and/or play games with me - they might answer after a long time, sometimes after hours. It hurts every single time and as time goes by, I start to get annoyed and offended. They probably don't want to hang out with me, which would be valid but they should at least tell it to me. They might be busy, yeah that's also true but they should at least TRY to send me a message saying "not now". Without this small, quick action/words I start to lose interest on the whole friendship and turn bitter, to be honest.
I love my friends and I understand perfectly if they can't or even want to hang out, but all I ask is that they would just tell it to me, so I won't waste hours on waiting and miss opportunities of hanging out other people...
I am so sorry, this became a rant about me and my situation, I just relate to this so hard and understand you..
I am sorry you've had to deal with this situation also, even lost friends over this. I really wish and hope people would start being more honest and just give us 2 seconds of their time to say "not now", so we can just go on with our business, do something else.
Sending you a virtual hug and strength, I shall conjure people to start talking more and be more honest.
Thank you so much for letting me vent out my experience I have, relating to your art ;; ♥
Some people just seem to HATE when someone relates to them like this, by telling how they feel about something similar and how it has affected them etc. That's how I relate. I say "yeah, I know that feeling so well", then talk about an experience and then try to focus on the other one again - at the same time I'm giving another perspective about the thing and maybe some guidance too. But sometimes I just feel like I shouldn't say anything since there are people who hate it so much. For me it's like... "what else can I say?", then I just have to wreck my brain by trying to think something to say.
I hope so too.. I fear and hate confrontation so much, but it has to be done. Although.. I've talked TWICE about this whole thing to a friend of mine, but they don't seem to learn. I'm a bit bitter towards them these days, but I try to keep it away since I do love them as a friend. They just sometimes make it hard, haha.
Some people just seem to HATE when someone relates to them like this, by telling how they feel about something similar and how it has affected them etc. That's how I relate. I say "yeah, I know that feeling so well", then talk about an experience and then try to focus on the other one again - at the same time I'm giving another perspective about the thing and maybe some guidance too. But sometimes I just feel like I shouldn't say anything since there are people who hate it so much. For me it's like... "what else can I say?", then I just have to wreck my brain by trying to think something to say.
I hope so too.. I fear and hate confrontation so much, but it has to be done. Although.. I've talked TWICE about this whole thing to a friend of mine, but they don't seem to learn. I'm a bit bitter towards them these days, but I try to keep it away since I do love them as a friend. They just sometimes make it hard, haha.
Trauma Dumping is a Neurodivergent 'love language'!
Sharing things that we also experienced that ties in with what someone is saying as a way to relate.
It can be stressful for many but its always just been the way I exist with the world as someone who's lived a absolutely traumatic life and has much guidance to offer.
Sharing things that we also experienced that ties in with what someone is saying as a way to relate.
It can be stressful for many but its always just been the way I exist with the world as someone who's lived a absolutely traumatic life and has much guidance to offer.
Exactly that. I'm sorry your life has been traumatic, trauma leaves some nasty and deep scars behind, but at least (if something) we can learn from them. Not be like the people who treated us like shit, not make the same mistakes too many times etc. and give guidance to those who are now struggling with the same stuff.
We knew eachother once. But I just saw the mass of people and support you had and just felt lost. Overwhelmed. I'm sorry I sorta faded away, but I admire you from afar, and I'm glad you have so much support and so many friends! You should know your resilience in the face of adversity is truly inspiring to me and I have found myself working now in a place that supports autistic and disabled young kittens, and I have used your story of strife and triumph on occasion. Names hidden of course, but that girl that creates all these things and has so many friends in spite of her pain. Just wanted you to know that!
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