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A sparrow guy switches places with the night shift and goes under the ship's deck to get some sleep, thinking about his situation, plans and his loved one before that.
Category Story / All
Species Sparrow
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 57.2 kB
Listed in Folders
Perhaps you're not exactly using much "passive" text. That was an error on wuff' s part. There is a bit though:
Example: "The job on the ship, taking care of it while it was out on the deep waters was something that he preferred not to do,..." vs. "He preferred not having to take care of the ship while it was out on the deep water,..." In first example, "The Job" and taking care of it is the object. in the second, "He", (the bird) remains the object.
There's not a lot of that, but maybe you might be a bit more "punchy" in some sentences.
Example: "The bird took off his clothes to the point that he was in his underwear." vs. "He removed his clothes down to his underwear. "
Oh, to answer your "Active" question, if you're wondering about the terms. Simplest explanation: In active voice, the subject of the sentence does the action. In passive voice, the object of the action becomes the subject of the sentence. The focus is on the action, not on who/what does it.
Examples: (Passive) "The cat was chased by the dog." "Football is played by them every day." (Active) "The dog chased the cat." "They played football every day."
Active imparts more energy to the text and grabs reader's interest more readily. Hope that was helpful!
Please forgive if wuff is intrusive with comments you didn't want.
Example: "The job on the ship, taking care of it while it was out on the deep waters was something that he preferred not to do,..." vs. "He preferred not having to take care of the ship while it was out on the deep water,..." In first example, "The Job" and taking care of it is the object. in the second, "He", (the bird) remains the object.
There's not a lot of that, but maybe you might be a bit more "punchy" in some sentences.
Example: "The bird took off his clothes to the point that he was in his underwear." vs. "He removed his clothes down to his underwear. "
Oh, to answer your "Active" question, if you're wondering about the terms. Simplest explanation: In active voice, the subject of the sentence does the action. In passive voice, the object of the action becomes the subject of the sentence. The focus is on the action, not on who/what does it.
Examples: (Passive) "The cat was chased by the dog." "Football is played by them every day." (Active) "The dog chased the cat." "They played football every day."
Active imparts more energy to the text and grabs reader's interest more readily. Hope that was helpful!
Please forgive if wuff is intrusive with comments you didn't want.
I mean... Now I know what you're talking about. With "passive and active" thing, it's named a bit different in my native language.
And even if active is indeed grabbing more of reader's attention, it's still a very short text (365 words as a req, after all). It would be more impactful, if the text was much longer.
And hey, I enjoy people commenting under my posts. The more, the better :D
And even if active is indeed grabbing more of reader's attention, it's still a very short text (365 words as a req, after all). It would be more impactful, if the text was much longer.
And hey, I enjoy people commenting under my posts. The more, the better :D
I think Vrghr summed it up very well. The joy of the 365 is - it teaches you how to use your words more efficiently. Occam's Razor - less is more. What I have found, and hold to be true, is you need to make the read enjoyable for the reader. The smoother it flows in their mind, the more comfortable it is for the read.
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