This is how I felt when I was drawing this. It was one of the times I felt the most low and depressed while doing a drawing. It was my first time putting an emotion besides my sexual feelings into furry art. It’s definitely not the usual stuff I draw, there’s no buff shirtless wolf dudes. It’s just me, Kodiff. I didn’t wanna share it at first, but art is awesome and beautiful, regardless of the material in the drawing. There’s so many things you can draw, and I wanna be able to share more meaningful drawings when I genuinely feel it, and hold myself and my emotions in my hands, and be able take a deep look within me. I of course love drawing muscled up buff wolf guys, I just wanna share a different side of me that I feel is also me that isn’t shown in my art, without the sexual side of me. I tried embracing the sexual stuff when I started drawing furry art again a few months ago, after nearly 2 years of not being able to draw digital on any device. With the sexual stuff I’m into and the mind that I have, it’s no wonder I draw so many buff wolf guys. But I’m still trying to accept that as a part of me, and I’ve been trying, but I also wanna be able to embrace the other side of me in my furry art too, the side that this drawing shows. I definitely mainly focus on making stacked buff wolf dudes, and will likely always focus on that, because hey, that’s just me, a genuine real side of me, but I’d like to occasionally do some stuff like this too, to look into myself and put some *other* emotions out onto a canvas. Both sides of me are real, they’re there, and they’re both authentic. The side of me that is depressed, low energy, and exhausted, is the same genuine side of me as the side that loves drawing wolf dudes and their buffed up muscles.

This drawing was for my own venting, but also to maybe make someone else out there not feel as alone in our complex minds. I heard that the best way to combat the mental health stigma as a society is to be open and honest about it, and that’s what this is. This is me being open and honest. This drawing is me struggling with depression, feeling overwhelmed, confused, drowned out, tired, like my mind is cluttered, and like everything is loud and tackling me, yet all at the same time, everything is quiet and there’s nothing.


Drawn on 6/1/2025