FA+
Shop
200
Views
Views
8
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / Fantasy
Species Wolf
Size 848 x 1239
File Size 2.19 MB
Report this content
More from Paradox_Az
Listed in Folders
Estrella sat on her knees with her eyes closed, unbothered by the light snow both piled under her furry legs and falling in tiny flakes upon the white fur of her bare shoulders. Lost as she was in her meditative trance, she barely registered the material world surrounding her, from its temperature to the megalithic structures of her ritual site.
Despite her blocked sight, she still perfectly envisioned the stone altar of her goddess Stella, and the wooden carving of her standing on it. She did so each time she communed with the lupine goddess of the night and sky, in search of the wisdom and advice she deemed worthy to spare as they interacted in her spiritual realm.
Such was her charge as the shaman of her tribe: to scry the sleepy night, interpret any morsel of information, and use it to give advice to the rest of her folks, be it wanted or not. A role as important as it was lonely: her own kin only visited the ritual site when they needed something or for ceremonies, and she in turn only went back to the main camp to give intel and take supplies.
Her father seemed to be more social when he was alive, but then again, he was not put to the test by Stella. It had been many winters since then, but she still felt the memory living in the looks of some folks, making her quick to leave once her duty was fulfilled. No, she was simply destined to be alone, both in her tent and duties.
The snow behind her being loudly crunched made her wolflike ears twitch. A visitor in the night? Something important must have happened for such an occurrence, and yet no one called her name. She hesitated for a moment, but as Stella persisted to be quiet tonight, she relented and decided to entertain her guest.
She started to turn around as she opened her eyes, but what she saw startled her so much that she bounced back, her petite frame bumping against the wooden carving. She would have tripped on the megalithic altar had someone not grabbed her arm to pull her back to her paws.
She shot an embarrassed look at the smiling newcomer. The lupine before her was tall, at least two heads taller than her. She was wearing a short, well-crafted blue tunic with silvery strips, which did nothing to conceal the toned limbs blossoming under her ample blue-grey fur, marked in place by sky blue lines. She was not from her tribe, that much was sure. She would have remembered such an appealing presence.
Yet the eyes of the warrior captured her attention even more. At first, she assumed they were pitch black, until the stranger took a step forwards, a ray of moonlight revealing coloured spots dancing in her black pupilless sclera. Estrella found herself mesmerised by these, feeling as if they were as deep as the nightly sky. She only snapped out of it when her guest tilted her head on the side, the smile on her face growing even warmer.
“You… you are not from my tribe.” she muttered.
“You could say that, although I follow the tribe all the same.”
The stranger answered with a smooth, almost melodic voice as she made her way towards the altar. Estrella tried to raise her hand and to say something to stop her, yet she kept quiet, her paws never leaving the ground. She had no hope to even slow down this beast of a lupine… and something in her step and tone made her at ease, somehow.
“There, better, don’t you think?” the visitor said as she effortlessly slipped the goddess’s carving back in place.
The shaman incredulously watched, her attention shifting from the idol to the stranger every few seconds. As much as she wanted to reprimand her, she did fix the altar she herself moved, perfectly at that. Who was she? And why did she wear this constant, familiar smile…
Her gaze stopped on the sculpture. It was a lookalike of her goddess sculpted from a log during her rite of passage, representing a vision she had: Stella, draped in the night and her head surrounded by auroras, towering over her, looking down at her with a warm smile on her face.
She focused back on the tall stranger, on her look, her face. Her eyes widened as she realised who was standing in front of her.
“I hope you didn’t find my earlier lack of answers worrying.” Stella said, stifling a laugh.
Estrella felt dizzy as her vision grew unfocused. She was in the presence of a goddess, her goddess! Going short on breath, she started to kneel, both to steady herself and to give proper credits. She was stopped by two warm, strong hands grabbing her by the sides, slowly lifting her off the ground.
“Do not bow before me, not tonight. You are the reason for my visit.”
Estrella’s heart started to beat faster as she shivered. What did this mean? There was no malice in any of the words, yet she could not shake the sinister implication they carried. She had tried her best to honour Stella ever since was put to the test, and yet she feared it had not been enough.
The goddess, for her part, showed no sign of hostility. Two steps from her long, athletic legs were enough to bring them both to the altar, and she sat down next to the carving. Now installed on the larger female’s lap, Estrella felt the soft brush of her fur against hers, and especially the firmness of her muscles. She did not dare to look away from her face, despite a part of her wanting to, afraid of where her eyes might stare.
“Worry not, I am not here as a foe. Quite the opposite.”
An arm wrapped around Estrella’s lower back, right above her tail. It did help her stop shaking, but the feelings of the digits against her made her feel quite heated all of a sudden, despite the pelts separating them from her body.
“Then, what do you want from me?”
The goddess lost her smile as she pondered the question, looking away as she did. Her free hand absentmindedly came to rest on Estrella’s bare knees, who also had to avert her gaze, trying to hide the embarrassed expression that appeared on her flushing face.
“I do not want anything from you, who have already given so much. I just wanted to speak with you on equal ground.”
Her eyes widened as she looked up in awe. To her knowledge, such a visit was an unprecedented event, and it had to occur to her…
“I am… why? Anyone else would be more worthy than I…”
“Pray tell, how can you, among all, see yourself as such?”
“I am… I… I could not…”
The goddess was now glaring at her with a disappointed frown, causing her to sheepishly look at the snow. She felt the taller female’s arm circle around her back, her palm coming to rest on her belly. She knew what the gesture meant. It had been something she wanted to ask about for a long time when overwhelmed by grief. Of course, her goddess would have known about it. There was no doubt in her mind it was partly her reason to visit.
“I… failed to bear an heir to term. So badly, the elders told me I would no longer be able to even attempt it again, lest I would die. I will be the end of my bloodline. I failed my father, my grandmother and all my shaman ancestors that day. I failed you!”
Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked up to her goddess. Her disappointment had turned into pity, and yet she still stared at her in silence. As she sobbed under the weight of the memories, she felt the hand on her belly move up to her head, where it started to gently rub her scalp. The soothing gesture helped her tears to flow, and she pressed herself against the compassionate shoulder that was offered to her. She cried there for a long time; longer than she had suffered during the doomed delivery; longer than she had cried with her soon to be gone father.
She let many winters worth of tears finally part with her, not to fester in her mind anymore. She felt dizzy as the flows receded, as if a piece of herself went with it… a piece heavier than the altar, that weighed her down for far too long.
“You never failed anyone.” she heard as her tears dried.
Her ears flickered at that. She could not believe any of it, and she looked up with confusion.
“When the time came to be a shaman, you answered the call without a doubt in your heart. When the time came to prepare the next shaman, you choose to bear pups yourself despite your own preferences, when you could have searched for a fitting one in the tribe. And the pain of loss only made your faith stronger. No one, myself among them, could have asked more from you, Estrella.”
Her heart skipped a beat as she heard the goddess say her name. The way she said it… it sounded proud. Almost reverent.
“I… I thought it was all a test, to make up for my failings…”
“Pray tell, which one? I see nothing I could fault you for. You are a rock to your community, a good counsel to any who seeks you out… and we share a similar appreciation of the female form.”
A surge of embarrassment suddenly dug a pit in her stomach, and she found her joined hands really interesting as she completely failed to remain composed. It made sense that her goddess would have devised this from their communions… but to say it so casually! For her part, Stella just chuckled softly as she briefly ruffled the fur of Estrella’s cheek.
“What happened to you was no doubt a tragedy, but in no way of your own making. You consulted me about pups on occasion, and not all of them made it. It is but a sad fact of life, one you were unlucky enough to experience by yourself.”
Estrella let the words sink in for a moment. To have her devotion acknowledged warmed her heart, but to be told by Stella that she was not at fault lifted another colossal weight off her shoulders. She never believed the others, even her own father when they told her so, convinced they were just attempting to make her feel better by diminishing her responsibilities.
Overcome with joy, she bounced on the goddess lap, allowing her muzzle to briefly nuzzle her fluffy neck. The larger female stiffened for a moment in response before returning to her previous smile and nuzzling her back in turn.
“Thank you, Stella… for everything you said. I needed to hear your words!”
“That much was obvious. I tried to give you insight in our communions, but you never seemed to focus on these. After so long, it stood to reason I had to employ another way.”
“I had to focus on the others first. It is my duty as a shaman, after all.”
The goddess once again stiffened, her smile slowly dropping as her gaze seemed to wander to the distance. Estrella searched for what could be wrong, seeing nothing of note, but she did notice that Stella’s arm was resting on her shoulders, while her hand was still on her knees. She did not want her to go yet, as if she was steeling herself for something.
“Do you want to tell me anything else?”
The goddess gaze returned to her, her pupilless eyes seemingly searching for something in hers. In turn, she observed her features in detail, seeing them coloured with doubt for the first time in her years of trances and worship. After a while, Stella let out a frustrated sigh, removing her hands from the shaman and slowly shifting in place. Estrella, however, refused to let her go: she quickly put her knees on each side of her goddess legs, allowing her to both face and reach up to the goddess’s face.
She had seen this before. Folks afflicted by worries, guilt or bad spirits who tried to avoid confrontation by fleeing. She realised she probably looked the part for most of her adult life as well. It was not in her nature to ignore such an implicit call for help, and she sure was not going to do so now.
“Please, you can…”
“Why did you bear pups in the first place?”
She was surprised by the bluntness of the question, but tried her best not to let it slip. Stella was clearly conflicted, her face seemingly bracing for something as the colours in her eyes shifted with no clear rhythm. She obviously attached a lot of importance to the answer to come.
“I… enjoy the female form, as you said. But I have seen how mothers are looked upon, their joy when holding their little ones for the first time, their pride when witnessing their pups’ first steps and words. I wanted to experience all that for myself.”
The goddess slowly nodded as she raised her hands, resting them on Estrella’s shoulders. She felt them lightly tremble as they slowly slid down her arms, until they reached her hands to give them a light squeeze. She shivered. In this instant, the goddess reminded her of the sick and the scared, when they tried to build up the courage to speak up. She feared what she had to say, for what could make her at such a loss for words?
“I see… I see…”
Stella’s gentle hold hardened on Estrella’s fingers as her eyes started to water, their colours started to shift faster.
“To think… you were engaged in a… loveless union, just for some pups… uncaring about… your own wants… your…”
Estrella looked with concern as the goddess poured her heart out. Her tone and intonation were far from the ones she used a bit earlier: much more cautious, almost scared, as if she was afraid to slip and fall. She never saw her goddess be so vulnerable in the trances she shared with her.
“You are the most devout follower I ever had, and probably will have. You, who are so concerned with the wellbeing of others despite having every right to be angry at them. You showed such strength in the face of such tragedy…”
The goddess grew more agitated with each sentence, shiny tears now running down her furred cheeks as her limbs started to shake. She looked on the verge of breaking down, yet Estrella was anything but scared, even wagging her tail slightly. She was not indifferent to the attention she was receiving… and to what it pointed to.
“You… you deserve much better than… this! This is why I came to see you! Because you deserve more than to wallow in regrets, all alone! Better than…”
Time seemed to stand still for Estrella, as both her heart and mind realised what was happening before her. She never had much in the way of romantic experiences: she was uninterested in males, females were uninterested in her, and losing her pups made her uninterested in such matters. But she saw enough of the aches of love in others to see them here: Stella cared enough to learn her name, to empathize with her plight, and come down to help her figure it out, yet she did not seem to understand what now seemed obvious to the shaman.
That was fine. Explaining such aches was her duty as a shaman, after all.
The flow of time returned to normal, and she knew what to do. While her heart unsuccessfully tried to escape her chest, she nuzzled the neck of the still ranting goddess, stopping her in her tracks. She then approached her, their noses a breath away from each other, and asked in a shaky voice:
“Do you wish to be my… my mate?”
It was Stella’s turn to be speechless. She first opened her muzzle to speak before closing it as she blinked repeatedly. Her lower jaw went up and down a few times, never quite closing completely for a few moments. Only then did she have a short nod, followed by a whispered:
“Yes.”
Stella averted her gaze, drained by her admission. Estrella was now shaking herself, her ears burning as her chest pounded. She was not caught off guard by the admission, but it did not lessen the impact it had on her. She raised a trembling hand toward Stella’s face, turning it toward hers with a gentle caress on her oh so soft fur, and spoke, with a clarity that surprised her:
“I… never had a mate before… nor did anything with a female. You… will be my first in many regards.”
“Your first?... Does it mean you also wish for it to be?”
She only answered with a quick nod, finding her throat quite parched all of a sudden. She felt dizzy when Stella gently grabbed her sides, taking seemingly infinite precautions to make so that they both faced each other. The goddess’s tail was wagging with furious excitement now, hard enough to bump against Estrella’s legs.
“… what now?”
Her voice croaked, the words barely escaping her dry throat. She wanted to move, to close the distance and touch her, but the drum-like beating of her heart left her dazed. She was deafened by the incessant beating of her own tail, the very emotion giving it life now clouding her vision and making her feverish.
None of that seemed to afflict Stella, the whirling colours in her eyes growing still as she looked to the shaman. Slowly, her hands intertwined with Estrella’s, their cool doing wonder to quench the fire burning inside the lupine.
She then started to approach Estrella’s muzzle. The shaman felt as if a spell was lifted off her shoulders by the sight, and she closed the distance in a blink, only stopping when their tongues touched.
Her eyes closed as the kiss started. Stella’s tongue was not drooling nor burning like her own, but cool and only slightly humid. And it tasted nothing like the other kisses she half-heartedly returned in the past, but instead tasted sweet, bringing her a pleasure pure enough to chase all thoughts in her head. She knew stories about coupling between mortals and gods, but none described what it felt to kiss a goddess. And she was now doing it… and it was better than anything she ever did or tasted.
She wanted nothing more than to lean further into the kiss, and she would have if not for the lack of air. She pulled away reluctantly to catch her breath, her eyes plunging in Stella’s as she did so. They were unique, out of this world… and yet she saw relief in the myriads of lights painting them. A relief coloured with hope.
“That was good.” she quickly whispered.
“I had gathered as much, my mate.”
The word, and the way she used to say it, sent shivers down Estrella’s spine, the wagging in her tail growing stronger.
“Godly, even…” she added, feeling her face flush even more.
The goddess snickered at that, and started to pet her head in response. She felt the agile digits sink in her fur to mass her scalp, starting at the top of her head before slowly going to her sides, only taking a detour to gently prod around the base of her ears. All the while, jolts of pleasure surged from her head to the rest of her body, leaving her a shaking mess of a lupine when Stella finally stopped. She wined in disappointment when the caress stopped, earning herself a quick peek on her lips for her troubles.
“I have to confess, I had not expected for this to go this well.” Stella admitted.
“Could you not have known this in advance?”
“My own destiny is a mystery, even to me… and besides, pleasure like these should not be spoiled.”
Estrella suddenly felt herself being pushed against Stella’s chest. She was hit but her scent as soon as the surprise passed, and she immediately relaxed in her arms, not paying attention to the fact that she was being lifted. Her smell was strange, but pleasant, like honey mixed with morning dew.
“Speaking of it… would you allow me to carry you to your tent, my mate?”
“Sure… I am feeling quite… quite tired…”
In truth, her heart was finally slowing down after everything that happened, and wrapping herself around the strong, muscular torso of Stella was all she could really think of. She heard the goddess chuckles as she started to walk, and before she could hear anything else, she let herself be carried to sleep, soothed by the warmth and softness of her tunic and fur.
Estrella slept like a log after that, the night replaced by the first rays of the sun in the blink of an eye. She felt warm in her bedroll for the first time in years, and wanted to sleep in to celebrate. She found a new lease on life… and a mate. An immortal mate! She definitely felt as if she deserved some rest for her troubles, feeling that her goddess would not mind.
She wanted to turn away from the light to do just that, but was stopped in her efforts by the arms wrapped around her waist. It is only then that she noticed that her bare back was resting against the bare, muscular chest of someone. Someone whose head was resting above hers.
“Morning, my mate.” Stella softly said before nibbing her ear.
The shaman giggled under the attention, unable to escape the bedroll as she wiggled against her mate.
“Stella! Shouldn’t you be in the skies?”
“It is not day yet. And… you are the first dyad I had in… immemorial winters. You deserved such attention.”
“And I love it! But you should not leave others in the dark for my sake. I know other shamans, I am sure they also need your guidance!”
She felt Stella stiffen against her back, her arm pressing a little bit more against her. Did she say something bad? She thought it was quite a compliment, but it was a new territory for them both, and maybe she said something wrong by accident? Worry started to creep in, and she wanted to ask, but a muzzle gently landing on her shoulder made her reconsider. If anything, Stella was now pulling her in a close hug.
“… that’s one of the reasons I… why I love you… your care for others is rare.”
“Thanks…” she whispered, shivering at the word “love”. “I also love the way you care for me and us… and how you look, too.”
“Flatterer…” snickered the goddess, before licking her head. “But to ease your concerns, even gods and goddesses can have days without work. It is just that these days will probably be spent with a certain someone from now on… and maybe some ones, one day?”
Estrella’s brown furrowed at this. “Some ones”? She turned around in her bedroll, Stella letting her go just long enough for her to accomplish it. The goddess was looking at her with a sly smile, as if she was making perfect sense.
“Some ones?” she asked.
“Why, yes. I know you know stories about demigods. I sometimes pondered the possibility myself… and well…”
It took her a few seconds to understand what it meant, but her face flushed instantly when she did, and she even brought her hands to her face to hide herself. She had so many questions, and the idea seemed so ludicrous!
“But how? You are… you! And the elders said…”
“I am a goddess to you and your tribe, but a few tribes see me as a god. And even then… you recall how I was born from the sun and the moon? I am no ordinary lupine. As for the elders… they told you based on their mortal perspective. I outlived their predecessors just as I will outlive them. My domain, as you know, is vast, and I am not the only one like me.”
Said like that, it made some sense to Estrella… but it was still a lot to hear, even from a goddess! Stella caught on after a while, as she stopped to smile and took a more apologetic expression, her voice getting softer as she continued, soothing the shaman by slowly petting her now raised arms.
“I apologise for being so brusque. I had assumed you knew more about my nature from our communions… but I should have known better. I just wanted to make sure you knew it was a possibility.”
“It’s fine, I assure you, my mate.” Estrella mustered, taking Stella’s hands. “I was surprised… but I am glad you told me. I… I will have to think about it. Maybe we could… just enjoy each other's company, at first? Before more…”
“We will do as you wish, my mate. I will return as soon as I can. Think about what you wish to do. A walk in the woods, stargazing, maybe just cuddling… I know I will love it, for it will be in your company.”
She then gave a big, tender kiss on the shaman’s forehead. As the lupine closed her eyes to better appreciate it, she felt Stella’s touch grow fainter and fainter against her hands and fur, the sun finally rising in earnest. The feeling of the kiss was the last to go, and when she opened her eyes, her mate was gone.
She heavily breathed in, and smiled widely as she got up. She had so much to do, so many to tell, starting with the elders, and so much to think about! Looking around her tent, she did not see her pelts, but instead a tunic reminding her of Stella’s own. It was a bit too big for her, but she never minded her clothes not fitting her perfectly. The fact that it carried her lover’s fresh, sweet scent certainly encouraged her way of thinking.
She certainly hoped it would last until Stella’s next visit.
_________________________________
Many thanks to
pea2 for another great commission ! I initially only sent the first part of the story (up to the reveal that the visitor is Stella, the goddess), but when I received the first sketch of the commission, I liked it so much that I retroactively modified parts of the story to better fit what was in the picture. Maybe I'll make more about these two in the future !
Despite her blocked sight, she still perfectly envisioned the stone altar of her goddess Stella, and the wooden carving of her standing on it. She did so each time she communed with the lupine goddess of the night and sky, in search of the wisdom and advice she deemed worthy to spare as they interacted in her spiritual realm.
Such was her charge as the shaman of her tribe: to scry the sleepy night, interpret any morsel of information, and use it to give advice to the rest of her folks, be it wanted or not. A role as important as it was lonely: her own kin only visited the ritual site when they needed something or for ceremonies, and she in turn only went back to the main camp to give intel and take supplies.
Her father seemed to be more social when he was alive, but then again, he was not put to the test by Stella. It had been many winters since then, but she still felt the memory living in the looks of some folks, making her quick to leave once her duty was fulfilled. No, she was simply destined to be alone, both in her tent and duties.
The snow behind her being loudly crunched made her wolflike ears twitch. A visitor in the night? Something important must have happened for such an occurrence, and yet no one called her name. She hesitated for a moment, but as Stella persisted to be quiet tonight, she relented and decided to entertain her guest.
She started to turn around as she opened her eyes, but what she saw startled her so much that she bounced back, her petite frame bumping against the wooden carving. She would have tripped on the megalithic altar had someone not grabbed her arm to pull her back to her paws.
She shot an embarrassed look at the smiling newcomer. The lupine before her was tall, at least two heads taller than her. She was wearing a short, well-crafted blue tunic with silvery strips, which did nothing to conceal the toned limbs blossoming under her ample blue-grey fur, marked in place by sky blue lines. She was not from her tribe, that much was sure. She would have remembered such an appealing presence.
Yet the eyes of the warrior captured her attention even more. At first, she assumed they were pitch black, until the stranger took a step forwards, a ray of moonlight revealing coloured spots dancing in her black pupilless sclera. Estrella found herself mesmerised by these, feeling as if they were as deep as the nightly sky. She only snapped out of it when her guest tilted her head on the side, the smile on her face growing even warmer.
“You… you are not from my tribe.” she muttered.
“You could say that, although I follow the tribe all the same.”
The stranger answered with a smooth, almost melodic voice as she made her way towards the altar. Estrella tried to raise her hand and to say something to stop her, yet she kept quiet, her paws never leaving the ground. She had no hope to even slow down this beast of a lupine… and something in her step and tone made her at ease, somehow.
“There, better, don’t you think?” the visitor said as she effortlessly slipped the goddess’s carving back in place.
The shaman incredulously watched, her attention shifting from the idol to the stranger every few seconds. As much as she wanted to reprimand her, she did fix the altar she herself moved, perfectly at that. Who was she? And why did she wear this constant, familiar smile…
Her gaze stopped on the sculpture. It was a lookalike of her goddess sculpted from a log during her rite of passage, representing a vision she had: Stella, draped in the night and her head surrounded by auroras, towering over her, looking down at her with a warm smile on her face.
She focused back on the tall stranger, on her look, her face. Her eyes widened as she realised who was standing in front of her.
“I hope you didn’t find my earlier lack of answers worrying.” Stella said, stifling a laugh.
Estrella felt dizzy as her vision grew unfocused. She was in the presence of a goddess, her goddess! Going short on breath, she started to kneel, both to steady herself and to give proper credits. She was stopped by two warm, strong hands grabbing her by the sides, slowly lifting her off the ground.
“Do not bow before me, not tonight. You are the reason for my visit.”
Estrella’s heart started to beat faster as she shivered. What did this mean? There was no malice in any of the words, yet she could not shake the sinister implication they carried. She had tried her best to honour Stella ever since was put to the test, and yet she feared it had not been enough.
The goddess, for her part, showed no sign of hostility. Two steps from her long, athletic legs were enough to bring them both to the altar, and she sat down next to the carving. Now installed on the larger female’s lap, Estrella felt the soft brush of her fur against hers, and especially the firmness of her muscles. She did not dare to look away from her face, despite a part of her wanting to, afraid of where her eyes might stare.
“Worry not, I am not here as a foe. Quite the opposite.”
An arm wrapped around Estrella’s lower back, right above her tail. It did help her stop shaking, but the feelings of the digits against her made her feel quite heated all of a sudden, despite the pelts separating them from her body.
“Then, what do you want from me?”
The goddess lost her smile as she pondered the question, looking away as she did. Her free hand absentmindedly came to rest on Estrella’s bare knees, who also had to avert her gaze, trying to hide the embarrassed expression that appeared on her flushing face.
“I do not want anything from you, who have already given so much. I just wanted to speak with you on equal ground.”
Her eyes widened as she looked up in awe. To her knowledge, such a visit was an unprecedented event, and it had to occur to her…
“I am… why? Anyone else would be more worthy than I…”
“Pray tell, how can you, among all, see yourself as such?”
“I am… I… I could not…”
The goddess was now glaring at her with a disappointed frown, causing her to sheepishly look at the snow. She felt the taller female’s arm circle around her back, her palm coming to rest on her belly. She knew what the gesture meant. It had been something she wanted to ask about for a long time when overwhelmed by grief. Of course, her goddess would have known about it. There was no doubt in her mind it was partly her reason to visit.
“I… failed to bear an heir to term. So badly, the elders told me I would no longer be able to even attempt it again, lest I would die. I will be the end of my bloodline. I failed my father, my grandmother and all my shaman ancestors that day. I failed you!”
Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked up to her goddess. Her disappointment had turned into pity, and yet she still stared at her in silence. As she sobbed under the weight of the memories, she felt the hand on her belly move up to her head, where it started to gently rub her scalp. The soothing gesture helped her tears to flow, and she pressed herself against the compassionate shoulder that was offered to her. She cried there for a long time; longer than she had suffered during the doomed delivery; longer than she had cried with her soon to be gone father.
She let many winters worth of tears finally part with her, not to fester in her mind anymore. She felt dizzy as the flows receded, as if a piece of herself went with it… a piece heavier than the altar, that weighed her down for far too long.
“You never failed anyone.” she heard as her tears dried.
Her ears flickered at that. She could not believe any of it, and she looked up with confusion.
“When the time came to be a shaman, you answered the call without a doubt in your heart. When the time came to prepare the next shaman, you choose to bear pups yourself despite your own preferences, when you could have searched for a fitting one in the tribe. And the pain of loss only made your faith stronger. No one, myself among them, could have asked more from you, Estrella.”
Her heart skipped a beat as she heard the goddess say her name. The way she said it… it sounded proud. Almost reverent.
“I… I thought it was all a test, to make up for my failings…”
“Pray tell, which one? I see nothing I could fault you for. You are a rock to your community, a good counsel to any who seeks you out… and we share a similar appreciation of the female form.”
A surge of embarrassment suddenly dug a pit in her stomach, and she found her joined hands really interesting as she completely failed to remain composed. It made sense that her goddess would have devised this from their communions… but to say it so casually! For her part, Stella just chuckled softly as she briefly ruffled the fur of Estrella’s cheek.
“What happened to you was no doubt a tragedy, but in no way of your own making. You consulted me about pups on occasion, and not all of them made it. It is but a sad fact of life, one you were unlucky enough to experience by yourself.”
Estrella let the words sink in for a moment. To have her devotion acknowledged warmed her heart, but to be told by Stella that she was not at fault lifted another colossal weight off her shoulders. She never believed the others, even her own father when they told her so, convinced they were just attempting to make her feel better by diminishing her responsibilities.
Overcome with joy, she bounced on the goddess lap, allowing her muzzle to briefly nuzzle her fluffy neck. The larger female stiffened for a moment in response before returning to her previous smile and nuzzling her back in turn.
“Thank you, Stella… for everything you said. I needed to hear your words!”
“That much was obvious. I tried to give you insight in our communions, but you never seemed to focus on these. After so long, it stood to reason I had to employ another way.”
“I had to focus on the others first. It is my duty as a shaman, after all.”
The goddess once again stiffened, her smile slowly dropping as her gaze seemed to wander to the distance. Estrella searched for what could be wrong, seeing nothing of note, but she did notice that Stella’s arm was resting on her shoulders, while her hand was still on her knees. She did not want her to go yet, as if she was steeling herself for something.
“Do you want to tell me anything else?”
The goddess gaze returned to her, her pupilless eyes seemingly searching for something in hers. In turn, she observed her features in detail, seeing them coloured with doubt for the first time in her years of trances and worship. After a while, Stella let out a frustrated sigh, removing her hands from the shaman and slowly shifting in place. Estrella, however, refused to let her go: she quickly put her knees on each side of her goddess legs, allowing her to both face and reach up to the goddess’s face.
She had seen this before. Folks afflicted by worries, guilt or bad spirits who tried to avoid confrontation by fleeing. She realised she probably looked the part for most of her adult life as well. It was not in her nature to ignore such an implicit call for help, and she sure was not going to do so now.
“Please, you can…”
“Why did you bear pups in the first place?”
She was surprised by the bluntness of the question, but tried her best not to let it slip. Stella was clearly conflicted, her face seemingly bracing for something as the colours in her eyes shifted with no clear rhythm. She obviously attached a lot of importance to the answer to come.
“I… enjoy the female form, as you said. But I have seen how mothers are looked upon, their joy when holding their little ones for the first time, their pride when witnessing their pups’ first steps and words. I wanted to experience all that for myself.”
The goddess slowly nodded as she raised her hands, resting them on Estrella’s shoulders. She felt them lightly tremble as they slowly slid down her arms, until they reached her hands to give them a light squeeze. She shivered. In this instant, the goddess reminded her of the sick and the scared, when they tried to build up the courage to speak up. She feared what she had to say, for what could make her at such a loss for words?
“I see… I see…”
Stella’s gentle hold hardened on Estrella’s fingers as her eyes started to water, their colours started to shift faster.
“To think… you were engaged in a… loveless union, just for some pups… uncaring about… your own wants… your…”
Estrella looked with concern as the goddess poured her heart out. Her tone and intonation were far from the ones she used a bit earlier: much more cautious, almost scared, as if she was afraid to slip and fall. She never saw her goddess be so vulnerable in the trances she shared with her.
“You are the most devout follower I ever had, and probably will have. You, who are so concerned with the wellbeing of others despite having every right to be angry at them. You showed such strength in the face of such tragedy…”
The goddess grew more agitated with each sentence, shiny tears now running down her furred cheeks as her limbs started to shake. She looked on the verge of breaking down, yet Estrella was anything but scared, even wagging her tail slightly. She was not indifferent to the attention she was receiving… and to what it pointed to.
“You… you deserve much better than… this! This is why I came to see you! Because you deserve more than to wallow in regrets, all alone! Better than…”
Time seemed to stand still for Estrella, as both her heart and mind realised what was happening before her. She never had much in the way of romantic experiences: she was uninterested in males, females were uninterested in her, and losing her pups made her uninterested in such matters. But she saw enough of the aches of love in others to see them here: Stella cared enough to learn her name, to empathize with her plight, and come down to help her figure it out, yet she did not seem to understand what now seemed obvious to the shaman.
That was fine. Explaining such aches was her duty as a shaman, after all.
The flow of time returned to normal, and she knew what to do. While her heart unsuccessfully tried to escape her chest, she nuzzled the neck of the still ranting goddess, stopping her in her tracks. She then approached her, their noses a breath away from each other, and asked in a shaky voice:
“Do you wish to be my… my mate?”
It was Stella’s turn to be speechless. She first opened her muzzle to speak before closing it as she blinked repeatedly. Her lower jaw went up and down a few times, never quite closing completely for a few moments. Only then did she have a short nod, followed by a whispered:
“Yes.”
Stella averted her gaze, drained by her admission. Estrella was now shaking herself, her ears burning as her chest pounded. She was not caught off guard by the admission, but it did not lessen the impact it had on her. She raised a trembling hand toward Stella’s face, turning it toward hers with a gentle caress on her oh so soft fur, and spoke, with a clarity that surprised her:
“I… never had a mate before… nor did anything with a female. You… will be my first in many regards.”
“Your first?... Does it mean you also wish for it to be?”
She only answered with a quick nod, finding her throat quite parched all of a sudden. She felt dizzy when Stella gently grabbed her sides, taking seemingly infinite precautions to make so that they both faced each other. The goddess’s tail was wagging with furious excitement now, hard enough to bump against Estrella’s legs.
“… what now?”
Her voice croaked, the words barely escaping her dry throat. She wanted to move, to close the distance and touch her, but the drum-like beating of her heart left her dazed. She was deafened by the incessant beating of her own tail, the very emotion giving it life now clouding her vision and making her feverish.
None of that seemed to afflict Stella, the whirling colours in her eyes growing still as she looked to the shaman. Slowly, her hands intertwined with Estrella’s, their cool doing wonder to quench the fire burning inside the lupine.
She then started to approach Estrella’s muzzle. The shaman felt as if a spell was lifted off her shoulders by the sight, and she closed the distance in a blink, only stopping when their tongues touched.
Her eyes closed as the kiss started. Stella’s tongue was not drooling nor burning like her own, but cool and only slightly humid. And it tasted nothing like the other kisses she half-heartedly returned in the past, but instead tasted sweet, bringing her a pleasure pure enough to chase all thoughts in her head. She knew stories about coupling between mortals and gods, but none described what it felt to kiss a goddess. And she was now doing it… and it was better than anything she ever did or tasted.
She wanted nothing more than to lean further into the kiss, and she would have if not for the lack of air. She pulled away reluctantly to catch her breath, her eyes plunging in Stella’s as she did so. They were unique, out of this world… and yet she saw relief in the myriads of lights painting them. A relief coloured with hope.
“That was good.” she quickly whispered.
“I had gathered as much, my mate.”
The word, and the way she used to say it, sent shivers down Estrella’s spine, the wagging in her tail growing stronger.
“Godly, even…” she added, feeling her face flush even more.
The goddess snickered at that, and started to pet her head in response. She felt the agile digits sink in her fur to mass her scalp, starting at the top of her head before slowly going to her sides, only taking a detour to gently prod around the base of her ears. All the while, jolts of pleasure surged from her head to the rest of her body, leaving her a shaking mess of a lupine when Stella finally stopped. She wined in disappointment when the caress stopped, earning herself a quick peek on her lips for her troubles.
“I have to confess, I had not expected for this to go this well.” Stella admitted.
“Could you not have known this in advance?”
“My own destiny is a mystery, even to me… and besides, pleasure like these should not be spoiled.”
Estrella suddenly felt herself being pushed against Stella’s chest. She was hit but her scent as soon as the surprise passed, and she immediately relaxed in her arms, not paying attention to the fact that she was being lifted. Her smell was strange, but pleasant, like honey mixed with morning dew.
“Speaking of it… would you allow me to carry you to your tent, my mate?”
“Sure… I am feeling quite… quite tired…”
In truth, her heart was finally slowing down after everything that happened, and wrapping herself around the strong, muscular torso of Stella was all she could really think of. She heard the goddess chuckles as she started to walk, and before she could hear anything else, she let herself be carried to sleep, soothed by the warmth and softness of her tunic and fur.
Estrella slept like a log after that, the night replaced by the first rays of the sun in the blink of an eye. She felt warm in her bedroll for the first time in years, and wanted to sleep in to celebrate. She found a new lease on life… and a mate. An immortal mate! She definitely felt as if she deserved some rest for her troubles, feeling that her goddess would not mind.
She wanted to turn away from the light to do just that, but was stopped in her efforts by the arms wrapped around her waist. It is only then that she noticed that her bare back was resting against the bare, muscular chest of someone. Someone whose head was resting above hers.
“Morning, my mate.” Stella softly said before nibbing her ear.
The shaman giggled under the attention, unable to escape the bedroll as she wiggled against her mate.
“Stella! Shouldn’t you be in the skies?”
“It is not day yet. And… you are the first dyad I had in… immemorial winters. You deserved such attention.”
“And I love it! But you should not leave others in the dark for my sake. I know other shamans, I am sure they also need your guidance!”
She felt Stella stiffen against her back, her arm pressing a little bit more against her. Did she say something bad? She thought it was quite a compliment, but it was a new territory for them both, and maybe she said something wrong by accident? Worry started to creep in, and she wanted to ask, but a muzzle gently landing on her shoulder made her reconsider. If anything, Stella was now pulling her in a close hug.
“… that’s one of the reasons I… why I love you… your care for others is rare.”
“Thanks…” she whispered, shivering at the word “love”. “I also love the way you care for me and us… and how you look, too.”
“Flatterer…” snickered the goddess, before licking her head. “But to ease your concerns, even gods and goddesses can have days without work. It is just that these days will probably be spent with a certain someone from now on… and maybe some ones, one day?”
Estrella’s brown furrowed at this. “Some ones”? She turned around in her bedroll, Stella letting her go just long enough for her to accomplish it. The goddess was looking at her with a sly smile, as if she was making perfect sense.
“Some ones?” she asked.
“Why, yes. I know you know stories about demigods. I sometimes pondered the possibility myself… and well…”
It took her a few seconds to understand what it meant, but her face flushed instantly when she did, and she even brought her hands to her face to hide herself. She had so many questions, and the idea seemed so ludicrous!
“But how? You are… you! And the elders said…”
“I am a goddess to you and your tribe, but a few tribes see me as a god. And even then… you recall how I was born from the sun and the moon? I am no ordinary lupine. As for the elders… they told you based on their mortal perspective. I outlived their predecessors just as I will outlive them. My domain, as you know, is vast, and I am not the only one like me.”
Said like that, it made some sense to Estrella… but it was still a lot to hear, even from a goddess! Stella caught on after a while, as she stopped to smile and took a more apologetic expression, her voice getting softer as she continued, soothing the shaman by slowly petting her now raised arms.
“I apologise for being so brusque. I had assumed you knew more about my nature from our communions… but I should have known better. I just wanted to make sure you knew it was a possibility.”
“It’s fine, I assure you, my mate.” Estrella mustered, taking Stella’s hands. “I was surprised… but I am glad you told me. I… I will have to think about it. Maybe we could… just enjoy each other's company, at first? Before more…”
“We will do as you wish, my mate. I will return as soon as I can. Think about what you wish to do. A walk in the woods, stargazing, maybe just cuddling… I know I will love it, for it will be in your company.”
She then gave a big, tender kiss on the shaman’s forehead. As the lupine closed her eyes to better appreciate it, she felt Stella’s touch grow fainter and fainter against her hands and fur, the sun finally rising in earnest. The feeling of the kiss was the last to go, and when she opened her eyes, her mate was gone.
She heavily breathed in, and smiled widely as she got up. She had so much to do, so many to tell, starting with the elders, and so much to think about! Looking around her tent, she did not see her pelts, but instead a tunic reminding her of Stella’s own. It was a bit too big for her, but she never minded her clothes not fitting her perfectly. The fact that it carried her lover’s fresh, sweet scent certainly encouraged her way of thinking.
She certainly hoped it would last until Stella’s next visit.
_________________________________
Many thanks to
pea2 for another great commission ! I initially only sent the first part of the story (up to the reveal that the visitor is Stella, the goddess), but when I received the first sketch of the commission, I liked it so much that I retroactively modified parts of the story to better fit what was in the picture. Maybe I'll make more about these two in the future !
Category Artwork (Digital) / Fantasy
Species Wolf
Size 848 x 1239px
File Size 2.19 MB
Comments