„Ever since I was a little girl, I have always turned my eyes up to the sky.
When I was so full of uncertainty that I felt my heart might be crushed by it… When I was so grief-stricken and alone I thought my heart might break of it…
I turned and looked up there… so that my tears would never, ever fall.
What about you? Have you ever had to do something like that?“
— Zinnia, Pokémon ORAS

No… my tears have dried out long ago.
And still I look up into the sky as if in search for answers. But the moon and those stars keep on shining silently…



Originally drawn earlier this year, this picture marked one of my lower moments…
My whole life feels like in constant search for a meaning, belonging and purpose.
In this specific case, amongst other things, I desperately tried to let go of a crush I had for quite a few years now… Later then, in another moment like this, I accidentally hurted him with my unwanted concerns, so I realized that at times I need to practice detachment. Otherwise I’d probably emotionally lose myself again and/or turn into my mother one day…

Nowadays, since I’m finally fully living in my own apartment for over a month now, I’m feeling even more lost and alone… These rooms are so empty… And yet I keep trying my best.
Then today I also realized I’ve lost some friends, since I’m always so busy with rearranging myself and unable to maintain friendships in a way they’d deserve it…
Everyone seems ahead of me; new relationships, new friends, creating entire worlds with their creativity - And me? I’m barely uploading a few old doodles right now while lamenting about my life. Great.

*sigh*
Please don’t worry about me.
I’ll find my way, as hard as it looks. Always did…
We all have our hardships, but they won’t last forever, right? I have trust in you guys, whether you still care about me or not. My ears and arms remain open.
Someday… things will be alright~