Geisha are part of the aesthetic I aspire to. I got over my Japanophile phase a long time ago.

There's this image I have in my head of what I should be: sweet, demure, beautifully dressed, graceful, alluring, willow, talented, engaging, interesting, intelligent; sweaters and high heels and combat boots and red lips and cat eyes and long lashes and gin and cigarettes and always smelling good; witty and sarcastic but kind and sugar and spice and little pillbox hats with military jackets. I don't even know how to explain it, but it's everything I want to be, but it's still unattainable.