FA+
Shop
1157
Views
Views
55
Favorites
Favorites
Category
All / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 676 x 864
File Size 260.7 kB
Report this content
★
More from Scurrow
Awkward Conversations with Awkward people.
I drew this comic in response to something I noticed recently, a phenomenon i like to call a forced-extracted conversation. PERSON A will say something completely out of the blue, something that does not have any context or relevance to what's going on, presumably hoping to prompt someone (PERSON B) into asking them what the hell they are talking about, giving the first person an excuse to talk about whatever they want because they were now ASKED about it by PERSON B. PERSON A may even go as far as acting surprised about the prompt, or ANNOYED they now have to tell a story.
Most of the time, this conversation is SUPER awkward, it's like pulling a blow dryer through your anus. Sometimes PERSON A will only give bits of information, as if they are a junky addicted to prompts. I've even seen situations where everyone just ignores PERSON A, because they know it's a conversation trap. That makes things even more awkward, often causing person A to give rapid fire prompts, or to tell their story anyway. Yikes!
I'm not really sure where this came from, if it's some sort of method of self protection, a social safety net where a person can test whether people are interested in their story or not. Maybe PERSON A just doesn't know how to jump into conversations. I notice quite a few people do this in many different forms, some of them are a lot more conversation friendly, some are unbearable. I'm probably guilty of it in some way, who knows? Perhaps you'll notice it now that you've read this! And by the way, congrats on getting to the end of this essay. I love analyzing shit.
Scurrow's Awkward Conversation Analyzing Firm
1507 Awkward St.
Awkward City, NM
Also look, i drew a tiger.
Most of the time, this conversation is SUPER awkward, it's like pulling a blow dryer through your anus. Sometimes PERSON A will only give bits of information, as if they are a junky addicted to prompts. I've even seen situations where everyone just ignores PERSON A, because they know it's a conversation trap. That makes things even more awkward, often causing person A to give rapid fire prompts, or to tell their story anyway. Yikes!
I'm not really sure where this came from, if it's some sort of method of self protection, a social safety net where a person can test whether people are interested in their story or not. Maybe PERSON A just doesn't know how to jump into conversations. I notice quite a few people do this in many different forms, some of them are a lot more conversation friendly, some are unbearable. I'm probably guilty of it in some way, who knows? Perhaps you'll notice it now that you've read this! And by the way, congrats on getting to the end of this essay. I love analyzing shit.
Scurrow's Awkward Conversation Analyzing Firm
1507 Awkward St.
Awkward City, NM
Also look, i drew a tiger.
Category All / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 676 x 864px
File Size 260.7 kB
Yeah, that always annoys me. One-upping also comes with a lot of weird social acceptance for things that really shouldn't be sought after, like how poor you are or how injured you've been, or how much your job sucks.
The best one-up i ever heard was during a furry gathering at a hotel while it was storming out. This one fellow started talking about siberia and how cold it was there during the winter. SIBERIA mind you. And then here comes the one-up line:
"That's nothing! You want to talk about cold? I come from Delaware"
I actually had to stop him right there and tell him that Delaware is not worse than Siberia, it was a good laugh.
The best one-up i ever heard was during a furry gathering at a hotel while it was storming out. This one fellow started talking about siberia and how cold it was there during the winter. SIBERIA mind you. And then here comes the one-up line:
"That's nothing! You want to talk about cold? I come from Delaware"
I actually had to stop him right there and tell him that Delaware is not worse than Siberia, it was a good laugh.
I've caught myself doing this. Sometimes I tumble on in silent horror at myself, sometimes I say to myself "man what the fuck are you doing, pull back now!" It's usually because I've mistaken something that was interesting/amusing/relevant to me for being I/A/R universally and feel the need to contrive a way to share this "wisdom"
I'm not really a good conversation partner
I'm not really a good conversation partner
I often find myself vexed when people offer blatant "teasers" like this. Sometimes I feel bad about not pursuing these prompts, as whoever's offering them obviously wants to talk about x__, but I guess I just don't like being lead, conversationally.
Cool comic, though, and thought-provoking :3
Cool comic, though, and thought-provoking :3
I always feel things get REALLY awkward if no one responds to the prompts. I always try to say something to break the awkwardness, plus i love analyzing stuff and i love arguing, so i usually prompt them just to see what happens.
They obviously want to talk about it, but the fact that they need to prompt for it usually means it's not very relevant I think. Also, it's hard to say if they want to talk about IT specificially or they just want to talk. It's not a fun conversation if you have to keep pulling info out of a person either.
Thank you! And thank you for commenting.
They obviously want to talk about it, but the fact that they need to prompt for it usually means it's not very relevant I think. Also, it's hard to say if they want to talk about IT specificially or they just want to talk. It's not a fun conversation if you have to keep pulling info out of a person either.
Thank you! And thank you for commenting.
I see those sort of promts from the same people all the time, and it annoys me, because most of the time I DO want to know what the hell they're talking about, but they remain silent. Like, if they didn't want to say anything about it, WHY say anything at ALL. Shit pisses me off.
Yeah. I know exactly what you mean, my own mother is one of the biggest perpetrators of this conversation crime! I should draw a comic about this too, when you have to squeeze information out of people like a sponge, I've flipped on people over this! I'm getting frustrated just typing this.
I do this. Some of it is being a self-absorbed prick, another part is a preemptive disclosure of state that seems perfectly natural to someone broken enough to find it presumptuous to poll others for theirs. (I am also downright neurotically concerned about people, but never drop "How are you?"s because I don't want to put anyone in the position of figuring out how the hell to respond to that.)
And on the third nipple, sometimes shit is just so weird that it does become a sort of fugue state, either for needing to "think out loud" in case you stumble upon useful input or just doing it jars something loose, or other times for needing some sort of emotional support terribly and not having any better audience available.
In that last case, at least, the 'prompting' is really a less-than-conscious attempt at recovering some vague sense of agency/competence along the lines of 'Please confirm my whole model of the world isn't wrong by letting my preconception of how this disclosure will unfold be accurate.' [Surely an underlying concern for most creatures, surprise being the experience of something beyond the internal model, a/k/a "unpredictable," but becoming actively anxious about such exposes itself in this really obvious way.] And note that comedy relies on the same social contract - "c'mon, just say 'knock-knock' already" - so invoking it for perceived tragedy can become a logically crosswired habit:* If it works to get a laugh, wellholyshitc'mon let it work to get a hug or confirmation that I did all a hominid could reasonably do.
* Real synaesthesia is way more awesome than social-contract synaesthesia. But the "wiring" issues are probably not entirely dissimilar, with some group of people using one clump of cells for two different tasks and other people using two different ones, each subject to the plethora of configurations that keep us from all being the same dude/ette.
And on the third nipple, sometimes shit is just so weird that it does become a sort of fugue state, either for needing to "think out loud" in case you stumble upon useful input or just doing it jars something loose, or other times for needing some sort of emotional support terribly and not having any better audience available.
In that last case, at least, the 'prompting' is really a less-than-conscious attempt at recovering some vague sense of agency/competence along the lines of 'Please confirm my whole model of the world isn't wrong by letting my preconception of how this disclosure will unfold be accurate.' [Surely an underlying concern for most creatures, surprise being the experience of something beyond the internal model, a/k/a "unpredictable," but becoming actively anxious about such exposes itself in this really obvious way.] And note that comedy relies on the same social contract - "c'mon, just say 'knock-knock' already" - so invoking it for perceived tragedy can become a logically crosswired habit:* If it works to get a laugh, wellholyshitc'mon let it work to get a hug or confirmation that I did all a hominid could reasonably do.
* Real synaesthesia is way more awesome than social-contract synaesthesia. But the "wiring" issues are probably not entirely dissimilar, with some group of people using one clump of cells for two different tasks and other people using two different ones, each subject to the plethora of configurations that keep us from all being the same dude/ette.
I think you are WAY to aware of what's going on to be dropping awkward prompts like you claim you are, but I would say that I agree there's some type of primitive "wanting to be groomed/wanting to be accepted" concept going on. I think a lot of people who do this have no idea what they are doing, or at least it feels that way. It's instinctual for them maybe. The way you describe the perpetrator here makes them sound almost cute! Like they are just looking for stability, affection, and love. That may be true, but there's no reason to feed into it just because they are going through some type of awkward paranoia state where they can't tell if what they are saying is going to go over well or not. I mean, don't get me wrong, i AM COMPLETELY sympathetic to that, LORD knows i used to be awkward as fuck and can still slip into it some times when things aren't going well. (Usually i just stop talking when this happens) The fact that i'm sympathetic towards it actually makes it worse, because I'm hypersensitive to nervousness and awkwardness like that, and like a dog that can smell fear, I don't like it and I can't deal with it! But I do love to analyze it.
I REALLY like this comedy comparison, I've got to think about that one. Like they are using some type of "knock knock" joke template for every day conversation. Interesting.
"enjoys" is a blue word, btw.
I REALLY like this comedy comparison, I've got to think about that one. Like they are using some type of "knock knock" joke template for every day conversation. Interesting.
"enjoys" is a blue word, btw.
You can be totally aware of what's going on with hiccups but they're still a bitch to stop.
On the comedy thing, I have no idea where I first ran into the idea but I think it was in some interview with some improv guy I stumbled onto while buying a laptop off some other guy who did improv on eBay: that the flow there (and so the entertainment, until it becomes worth it to bring things to a screeching halt) comes from accepting whatever unexpected fiction-reality the other participants set out. Combine that with that other theory floating around (laughter as monkey reflex to communicate a surprise is not a threat) and it makes sense. So that's where I'm jumping from to get to the conclusion that "accept my reality?" occurs in other contexts. The idea of a "social contract" naturally encompasses alllll of that, since we agree to play by certain rules, lock up the guys who can't stop talking to lampposts or keep the bullets in their guns out of people we don't believe they should be in, etc.
As to 'smelling fear', hnuh, I am generally pretty accepting of being on the receiving end because, being similarly afflicted, I just go "Oh, hey, that guy has found something personally interesting/affecting enough to overcome inhibition and dump state." (Obviously different people have different levels of inhibition, and some have nearly zero, but then it's just background noise until they get in my face with it.) What flips me out into irritability is when people use panic as a lever to get me to do their work for them / demonstrate that they're comfortable doing that instead of learning to apply reason under stress. Of course I'm also one of the more anxious dudes in the world, but internalize it all and sit quietly in RL because freaking out (and dealing with the later consequences of it, e.g. embarrassment) makes shit so much worse. (Then I get my kicks dumping it on the Internet! Oh Internet, you'll love me, won't you?)
And re: "feeding into it"... This is just repeating myself and my own perspective, but for recognizing it and seeing it as an unconscious tic, my reaction is much more "Oh, hey, your buffer overflowed, let me get you a towel." Dude next to you sneezes all over his hand, is it more uncomfortable to offer a Kleenex and maybe suggest the benefits of allergy meds or to try to ignore it for the rest of the bus ride? The faster I can get the nervousness and awkwardness down, the more relief there is [and the greater chance they will get their shit back together before they decide they've lost it enough to beg me to do their job for them*].
* This usually has something to do with copiers. Why are people so bad at and afraid of copiers? Did they have a scary copier-shaped bed when they were little? Did a copier get all liquored up and kill their family? Or do they just not want to touch it because they don't know who's ass has been on it, even though that's the part they touch all the time and it's the 'it needs paper put in it' that moves them to tears?
P.S.: Oddly enough, according to a bunch of Chinese astrology bullshit I used as a basis for interior decorating, blue is 'my color!' Because my parents fucked at a certain time in the history of the universe. Astrology is craaazy! But it's cool how they have a legend about a dog with no asshole.
On the comedy thing, I have no idea where I first ran into the idea but I think it was in some interview with some improv guy I stumbled onto while buying a laptop off some other guy who did improv on eBay: that the flow there (and so the entertainment, until it becomes worth it to bring things to a screeching halt) comes from accepting whatever unexpected fiction-reality the other participants set out. Combine that with that other theory floating around (laughter as monkey reflex to communicate a surprise is not a threat) and it makes sense. So that's where I'm jumping from to get to the conclusion that "accept my reality?" occurs in other contexts. The idea of a "social contract" naturally encompasses alllll of that, since we agree to play by certain rules, lock up the guys who can't stop talking to lampposts or keep the bullets in their guns out of people we don't believe they should be in, etc.
As to 'smelling fear', hnuh, I am generally pretty accepting of being on the receiving end because, being similarly afflicted, I just go "Oh, hey, that guy has found something personally interesting/affecting enough to overcome inhibition and dump state." (Obviously different people have different levels of inhibition, and some have nearly zero, but then it's just background noise until they get in my face with it.) What flips me out into irritability is when people use panic as a lever to get me to do their work for them / demonstrate that they're comfortable doing that instead of learning to apply reason under stress. Of course I'm also one of the more anxious dudes in the world, but internalize it all and sit quietly in RL because freaking out (and dealing with the later consequences of it, e.g. embarrassment) makes shit so much worse. (Then I get my kicks dumping it on the Internet! Oh Internet, you'll love me, won't you?)
And re: "feeding into it"... This is just repeating myself and my own perspective, but for recognizing it and seeing it as an unconscious tic, my reaction is much more "Oh, hey, your buffer overflowed, let me get you a towel." Dude next to you sneezes all over his hand, is it more uncomfortable to offer a Kleenex and maybe suggest the benefits of allergy meds or to try to ignore it for the rest of the bus ride? The faster I can get the nervousness and awkwardness down, the more relief there is [and the greater chance they will get their shit back together before they decide they've lost it enough to beg me to do their job for them*].
* This usually has something to do with copiers. Why are people so bad at and afraid of copiers? Did they have a scary copier-shaped bed when they were little? Did a copier get all liquored up and kill their family? Or do they just not want to touch it because they don't know who's ass has been on it, even though that's the part they touch all the time and it's the 'it needs paper put in it' that moves them to tears?
P.S.: Oddly enough, according to a bunch of Chinese astrology bullshit I used as a basis for interior decorating, blue is 'my color!' Because my parents fucked at a certain time in the history of the universe. Astrology is craaazy! But it's cool how they have a legend about a dog with no asshole.
The ... summarized it beautifully.
"Well? Whaddaya have to say to that, fella?"
And I would reply:
"I am not innarested, not innarested at all."
And walk away.
Or just grit my teeth and bear it. I can be a sucker for hearing out someone's stories. They can sometimes be very useful in figuring out the human condition. Which can be alternately fascinating and horrifying!
"Well? Whaddaya have to say to that, fella?"
And I would reply:
"I am not innarested, not innarested at all."
And walk away.
Or just grit my teeth and bear it. I can be a sucker for hearing out someone's stories. They can sometimes be very useful in figuring out the human condition. Which can be alternately fascinating and horrifying!
Oh shit dude.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auocTBoPx0A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9sqx_Ifn94
This can be found on Internets. You should check out the book if you haven't, even if the English title is horrible!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auocTBoPx0A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9sqx_Ifn94
This can be found on Internets. You should check out the book if you haven't, even if the English title is horrible!
i will now be mindful as i probably do it more than i should? being awkward and all?
but uh yeah
worst yet are people who don't need prompts to start yelling stories related to their own glory, while you and another person are having a pretty personal conversation. happens at cons, though usually, thankfully, only one or two folks responsible.
but uh yeah
worst yet are people who don't need prompts to start yelling stories related to their own glory, while you and another person are having a pretty personal conversation. happens at cons, though usually, thankfully, only one or two folks responsible.
That's definitely happened to me at cons i think, someone just shows up and starts talking nonsense, or yelling nonsense. Which brings me to another awkward conversation character, the VOLUMIZER, a person who tries to make up for not being funny or not having anything interesting to say by yelling it. Little do they know that yelling something that is vaguely funny does not make it more funny, for dog's sake!
The person who made me decide to write this comic is a nonfur. I've had pretty good luck avoiding these people at cons, possibly because they stand in groups together and just mindlessly bounce prompts off each other.
The person who made me decide to write this comic is a nonfur. I've had pretty good luck avoiding these people at cons, possibly because they stand in groups together and just mindlessly bounce prompts off each other.
"Heh. That's, uh...quite a thing. Yeah."
That's what I say. Then I either find an excuse to leave, or I start talking about some story of my own that may or may not be anything interesting. Thinking of their boring irrelevant story as an opening to share mine, I find that they often can't take their own treatment very well. They either interrupt (unsuccessfully because I go into one-track-asshole mode) or they awkwardly excuse themselves when I finish.
That's what I say. Then I either find an excuse to leave, or I start talking about some story of my own that may or may not be anything interesting. Thinking of their boring irrelevant story as an opening to share mine, I find that they often can't take their own treatment very well. They either interrupt (unsuccessfully because I go into one-track-asshole mode) or they awkwardly excuse themselves when I finish.
I observe this a lot too. Sometimes I humor them, because I'm no good at starting conversations either. Sometimes they have an agenda to push and they want to pull you into it. Sometimes they are not used to talking to anyone who doesn't know all their in-jokes from their tiny clique. Sometimes they just don't know how to make conversation and want to talk about something to fill the air. Or maybe they just like to act mysterious in an annoying way. I hate this one the most. Dragons are guilty.
How do you start a conversation anyway? The most successful conversation starters I have seen are elaborations on "where are you from" that lead into details about cultural groups, languages, travel, etc. But I have no opinions about these things, so it doesn't work for me. I always have to explain why I moved from here to there, why I went to whatever college, what I think of this place and that place, when I honestly care very little about where I live and have a terrible time comparing places, and my choice of college makes me kind of ashamed and leads people to poor assumptions about me. I'm also somewhat enthnicity-blind. I can't even guess a person's ethnicity, let alone talk about it. So what do I say? This is why I usually start with "what should I draw?"
How do you start a conversation anyway? The most successful conversation starters I have seen are elaborations on "where are you from" that lead into details about cultural groups, languages, travel, etc. But I have no opinions about these things, so it doesn't work for me. I always have to explain why I moved from here to there, why I went to whatever college, what I think of this place and that place, when I honestly care very little about where I live and have a terrible time comparing places, and my choice of college makes me kind of ashamed and leads people to poor assumptions about me. I'm also somewhat enthnicity-blind. I can't even guess a person's ethnicity, let alone talk about it. So what do I say? This is why I usually start with "what should I draw?"
Comments