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After 4 years of isolation I forgot how different I am regarding socializing. I can not maintain a dialogue or do small talk because I do not understand it. I do not understand why people laugh at things or why they react the way they do and it’s fascinating to see how just in 2 days people already made friends, started planning projects and weekends together, started chats and everything. Coincidentally I am the only student living in my area. So I can’t talk to anyone on my way back home.
I will need to talk to student advisor tomorrow because I think she thinks I do not pull my weight when I am just unable to do certain things. I tried to talk to people and have a conversation they just do not last longer than 2 minutes before people leave.
I do not feel lonely, I am worried I won’t be able to set a network for future and it feels like student advisors think I am not interested and don’t care when in reality I just don’t understand certain things. And it’s very hard for me to understand what should I say and when.
I will need to talk to student advisor tomorrow because I think she thinks I do not pull my weight when I am just unable to do certain things. I tried to talk to people and have a conversation they just do not last longer than 2 minutes before people leave.
I do not feel lonely, I am worried I won’t be able to set a network for future and it feels like student advisors think I am not interested and don’t care when in reality I just don’t understand certain things. And it’s very hard for me to understand what should I say and when.
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1689 x 2181px
File Size 348.9 kB
when i went back to school i was able to connect to the other social outcasts at first.. TwT
the ones who are just as awkward and don't see much value in human connection (we'll just hang out for 2 years, then we'll be strangers)
therefore it was easy to establish that we'll look out for each other, e.g. that's homework, there's an upcoming schedule change, we don't have to sit alone during lunch.
and during the actual lessons i was able to establish myself by keeping protocol and just openly asking where to share it to. and from there it was easier to get people to come to me first and they learned that i'm generally nice but need to get dragged along lol.
and when you just sit down and draw chances are people are gonna be curious as well :^)
I hope you'll be able to make some connections TwT maybe some nice extroverts who don't mind adopting you
the ones who are just as awkward and don't see much value in human connection (we'll just hang out for 2 years, then we'll be strangers)
therefore it was easy to establish that we'll look out for each other, e.g. that's homework, there's an upcoming schedule change, we don't have to sit alone during lunch.
and during the actual lessons i was able to establish myself by keeping protocol and just openly asking where to share it to. and from there it was easier to get people to come to me first and they learned that i'm generally nice but need to get dragged along lol.
and when you just sit down and draw chances are people are gonna be curious as well :^)
I hope you'll be able to make some connections TwT maybe some nice extroverts who don't mind adopting you
Yeah, it was like that for me at first, too. You should probably let your advisor know what you said here, so they can help you in a more meaningful way instead of thinking it's a lack of interest. There's gonna be other people like you, and I found they tend to gravitate towards each other eventually. It took me a while to find people I got along with; having to work in groups for projects and homework does help get things going, too.
Sometimes people get tapped out, especially in college. Workloads, new environments, and deadlines. Heck when I was there I pushed most people away because I needed space to recharge as an introvert.
In the end, here are the main things I try to keep tabs on. As with anything, take them with a grain of salt and discard if they don't click for you.
1) Talking to people I'm interested in. If I'm not wanting to engage, they pick up on that fairly quickly, even if I try to hide it. Heck, I view friendship as a gift that's given rather then an exchange that's expected.
2) Work on telling the difference between talking about the weather and an actual conversation. A lot of times those 2 minute conversations is them letting you know that they're not there to hurt you.
3) Bum rush your way to common ground. Try to find anything that you both have interest in. That's the point where actual conversations start.
4) Due to us having tribal monkey brains, if you ask questions about someone else while remaining polite and interested, eventually they'll be forced to ask you questions in order to balance out the conversation. Having a visual clue to two on your person (T-shirt with a logo, sketch pad, etc) helps them guess what you are interested in.
If you want to practice the 2 minute conversations, grocery store lines are a great place to start. Most folks are bored and have nothing to do if they are waiting to put groceries onto the conveyer belt.
In the end, here are the main things I try to keep tabs on. As with anything, take them with a grain of salt and discard if they don't click for you.
1) Talking to people I'm interested in. If I'm not wanting to engage, they pick up on that fairly quickly, even if I try to hide it. Heck, I view friendship as a gift that's given rather then an exchange that's expected.
2) Work on telling the difference between talking about the weather and an actual conversation. A lot of times those 2 minute conversations is them letting you know that they're not there to hurt you.
3) Bum rush your way to common ground. Try to find anything that you both have interest in. That's the point where actual conversations start.
4) Due to us having tribal monkey brains, if you ask questions about someone else while remaining polite and interested, eventually they'll be forced to ask you questions in order to balance out the conversation. Having a visual clue to two on your person (T-shirt with a logo, sketch pad, etc) helps them guess what you are interested in.
If you want to practice the 2 minute conversations, grocery store lines are a great place to start. Most folks are bored and have nothing to do if they are waiting to put groceries onto the conveyer belt.
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