YCH by the talented  levsha!

Why oh why do evil sorcerers always need to build their evil towers of evil ominousness on top of the highest mountains in the most desolate areas? I know you're a wicked villain bent on world domination or whatever, but you could be a bit more considerate. Build your evil lair on a nice beachside villa. Or if you just really like the mountainside, at least stay at the foot of the mountain. You've already shaped the entrance like a skull, clearly you want to be thwarted. Think of the poor heroes who have to trek all the way up that mountain just to get to you, let alone fight you afterwards.

...ah fuck it all, I'm only halfway up. My muscles ache, I'm hungry, the sun's beating down, my armour is chafing, I'm hungry, my feet hurt, and I'm hungry. I swear, once I get into that tower, I'm not only striking the evil sorcerer down, foiling his demonic ritual and making sure he never menaces the land again, I'm giving him a very stern talking to.

Oh well, here we go, onward and upward...and more upward.