Chapter 03

My beloved daughter. Don't cry. You know how it is. Whatever we do with life, we will die. It's just a question of when and how.

Kajsa wakes up and she has tears in her eyes and she is snoring loudly. The words she heard in her head came from her mother. She said those words a few weeks before she died. Kajsa and Monika often had discussions about life and other things and her mother always had such good answers to everything. It was almost as if she had entered another dimension when she ended up in the hospital.

Kajsa opens her wet eyes and looks around and it is completely pitch black around her, or wait, there is a little light coming from an open crack in the door. Kajsa shifts in bed and looks out through the narrow crack in the door and sees a beige floor outside the door and it doesn't match her home or Bertil's and she becomes confused and scared.

Where am I?

The memory of what happened comes suddenly and Kajsa breathes heavily because the memories are so strong. She remembers the car ride and how she felt strange in her body. She also remembers the unicorn on the road and the crash. When she thinks of the unicorn, she can still look into its big, deep, dark eyes and feel enchanted. Kajsa gets warm all over when she thinks of the unicorn. It's the same feeling as when she was with Monika.

Kajsa feels like she has to go to the bathroom and she crawls out of bed and goes to the bathroom. When she's done, she crawls into bed and pulls the blanket up to her neck. She's not cold but she thinks it's nice to have the blanket up so high. Her eyes have gotten used to the darkness and Kajsa can read what the hands on the clock show and it's 04. The nausea has passed but Kajsa still feels tired and closes her eyes again.

The door opens and Sylvia looks in and Kajsa opens her eyes again. Sylvia looks at Kajsa.

"I thought I heard you talking. Do you need any help?"

"No, I was probably just talking in my sleep. Everything is okay."

"Have you been crying? You have tears on your cheek."

"Mmm. Dreamed about mom."

"I understand. Okay, keep sleeping. If there's anything, just say so or press the alarm button by the bed."

"Absolutely."

Sylvia closes the door and it gets dark again. Kajsa still finds it difficult to talk about her mother. It's like an infected wound that never wants to heal, but sooner or later it will. Psychological wounds can be worse than physical wounds. Kajsa has learned that after Monika's death. Kajsa sighs and crawls further into bed and tries to sleep, but sleep won't come and she lies awake and thinks. Her thoughts wander back and forth, but she thinks mostly of her mother and above all of that special day.

Two months earlier

The whole family is gathered in Monika's hospital room. Kajsa sits on one side of Monika's bed, holding her right hand. Kajsa barely recognizes her own mother. The cancer has changed her face and she looks more like a wax doll. Monika's long, black, flowing hair has been shaved off and she looks like Sinead O'Connor. Kajsa is still not used seeing her mother in this hairstyle, even though it's been like that for over a month.

Bertil is standing by the window and he looks at all the leaves that have fallen from the trees. If everything had been normal, Monika would have been at home in the villa and raking the leaves on the lawn, but it has become Göran's job to do that, but so far he has barely raked any leaves. Bertil is disappointed in Göran who is not doing his job, and the leaves outside the hospital remind him of this. Göran is sitting at the sink and looking at his mobile phone, while Jack is sitting on the other side of Monika's bed, holding her left hand. Neither of them says anything, but lets the silence speak.

Monika's breathing has improved since the day before, but she doesn't seem to notice that the whole family is there. Her right hand is limp even though Kajsa is pressing it hard. Kajsa wants Monika to open her eyes and say hello as usual, but all she can hear is her rhythmic breathing. The doctor was in the room a while ago and he thought that Monika's vital signs were stronger today, but Kajsa doesn't agree. Instead, it seems as if her mother's consciousness is fading more and more, and she wonders where it's going.

The whole family has been here for over an hour, but so far Monika hasn't opened her eyes, and the question is whether she's aware that they're in the room. Bertil is hungry for coffee and looks at his watch at regular intervals. He knows that Monika will have coffee in half an hour, and he's wondering if he and the rest of the family should go to the hospital cafeteria and buy cookies and coffee and bring them to Monika's room so they can have coffee together. Bertil decides to go to the cafeteria and buy cookies and coffee.

"Which one of you wants to come with me to the cafeteria and buy some cookie and coffee?"

Everyone except Kajsa wants to go to the cafeteria. Kajsa doesn't want any cake or coffee because she drank coffee at Bertil's house before he drove to the hospital. Kajsa therefore stays by Monika's bed while the others leave the room. Kajsa continues to hold Monika's limp hand. Kajsa sees that Monika looks warm and moves the portable fan so that some of the cold air blows towards Monika but not directly at her. There is a large monitor by the bed and it shows, among other things, Monika's pulse and normally it beeps with each heartbeat but the doctor has turned off the sound so that it won't be distracting for the family.

Kajsa feels how Monika start to hug her hand and it happens in stages as if she is slowly but surely regaining consciousness. After a short while, Monika opens her eyes and looks into Kajsa's. Kajsa recognizes her mother's gaze even though it looks tormented. Monika moves her lips and Kajsa leans closer to the bed so that she can hear what her mother is saying.

"What will happen to you when I'm gone?"

"It'll be fine, mom. I've gotten a raise and the company will soon be moving to new premises and I'll have my own office."

"It's a shame I won't be able to see the new premises."

Kajsa takes out her mobile phone. She took pictures when the company visited the new premises and she shows the pictures to her mother.

"Look here. This is where my office will be. Nice, huh?"

"I'm so impressed that you're doing so well now that I can't help you."

"You know. I'm a stubborn tough girl who doesn't give up easily."

The doctor enters the room and he brings Monika's coffee. Monika can no longer lift the coffee cup so the doctor has put a straw in it for her to use. Kajsa helps her mother and holds the coffee cup and straw so that it doesn't slide across the table. Monika doesn't drink much coffee and she shows when she doesn't want any more and Kajsa takes the coffee cup away and places it by the sink. Kajsa sits down by the bed again and holds one of Monika's hands.

Kajsa looks into Monika's eyes and smiles.

"Do you remember when we stood watching the northern lights last winter? They were so magical."

Monika's lips move after a moment and Kajsa bends down over the bed so that she can hear the answer.

"I..remember. They..were..so..beautiful"

Monika's voice is almost like a whisper and it seems to take a lot of strength to get the words out. A few seconds later, Monika's gaze becomes more and more unfocused and it looks as if she is looking for something. Kajsa holds Monika's hand and smiles.

"Oh, the rest of the family is buying coffee at the cafeteria but they will be back soon."

Monika's eyes become calm again but they no longer look as focused as before. Kajsa continues to hold Monika's hand while she talks to her. Kajsa thinks that Monika may feel better when she hears Kajsas voice and see her.

"All the trees have shed their leaves so Göran has a big job keeping the lawn clean. He's not as good as you but he's learning. Göran accidentally broke the old lawnmower but it was so old it would break at any moment. That old magpie nest has fallen from the old apple tree but I don't think the magpies used it anymore. Bertil has brought in that blue flower that you got as a present on your birthday and it's still blooming."

Monika's breathing sounds more labored and Kajsa can see in her eyes and face that she's in a lot of pain and she can't bear to see her mother suffer. Kajsa holds Monika's hand tighter.

"You're a real fighter but I can see how you're tormented by the pain. If it gets too hard I'll give you permission to let go. It's okay."

Monika's lips move weakly but Kajsa can't hear what she's saying but continues to hold her hand. Monika's eyes are filled with an inner peace and she takes several deep breaths but then it's over. Monika's hand goes limp again. Monika's chest no longer moves and the spark of life that was in her open eyes has disappeared and is replaced by an empty and dead look. Her soul has left her.

Kajsa becomes desperate and calls out to her mother.

"No, mother, plase no. Wait until the rest of the family comes back. They will be here soon."

The monitor by the bed starts to beep as it no longer registers any heartbeats. A doctor enters the room and feels Monika's arm and neck but finds no pulse. The doctor turns off the monitor and closes Monika's eyes. It's over.

Kajsa regrets saying the words. That she allowed her mother to let go. Kajsa never thought her mother was so close to death, but she was. There is so much she would have liked to tell her mother, but now it's too late and the worst thing is that the rest of the family wasn't there to say goodbye. Kajsa's feelings of guilt start to grow and she finds it hard to breathe.

The rest of the family come back and they immediately understand what has happened. The fluorescent light above the bed flashes a few times and Göran looks up at it and starts to talk.

"Goodbye, mother. Hope you're doing well wherever you end up."

Kajsa goes to Beril and hugs him tightly and they start to cry. Jack looks broken and stands looking at his mother's lifeless body. Göran walks over to the bed and stands there for a few seconds but then goes to Kajsa and Bertil and it's clear that he wants a hug. Bertil calls out to Jack and he goes to them and together they form a circle and hug each other.

Kajsa is lying in bed in room number 5 in the observation ward and she thinks about the fact that she never told her family about Monika's last seconds of life and the guilt wells up again, stronger than ever. Kajsa curls her body into a ball and starts to cry and this crying cannot be stopped. The guilt has grown too great and Kajsa promises herself that she will tell her family about what happened the day Monika died. She has to do it to become whole again. Kajsa cries some more but eventually sleep takes her and her body relaxes again.

---

"Good morning. How are you today? Here's some breakfast and I thought I'd take a blood test."

Kajsa wakes up and blinks in surprise and turns around in bed to see a male doctor standing in front of her bed. The room is no longer dark, but daylight is seeping in from the drawn blinds. It is 8 a.m. The doctor places a tray of food on the table next to Kajsa's bed, containing a plate of yogurt, some sandwiches, a glass of juice and a boiled egg. Kajsa is still confused after waking up, but sits up in bed and feels that she is hungry.

The doctor stands next to the bed and he has a syringe with him. Kajsa extends one arm so that he can take a sample and he washes it with alcohol before inserting the needle. Kajsa barely reacts to the injection. When the doctor is finished, he pulls out the syringe and puts a plaster where he inserted the needle. Kajsa looks at the doctor.

"Can you pull up the blinds?"

"Of course I can."

The doctor walks over to the window and pulls up the blinds and the strong sunlight blinds Kajsa, but her eyes soon get used to the sunlight. It has continued to snow during the night and the ground outside the window is completely white. Kajsa sees from the window that several centimeters of snow have fallen during the night and that makes her happy. It has been a long time since Kajsa played in the snow, but now that she sees the snow, she feels like making a snowball and throwing it anywhere she wants. Maybe playing with Göran. But first she wants to eat breakfast.

Kajsa starts to eat her breakfast and the doctor leaves the room. Since Kajsa is hungry, she eats quickly and soon the food tray is empty. Kajsa feels full and bored. She wants to go home. Sometimes she hears footsteps in the corridor and they approach Kajsa's room but no one enters Kajsa's room. Kajsa starts to feel impatient and thinks about pressing the alarm by the bed so that a staff member will come to her, but she doesn't. The ticking of the clock on the wall drags on as time passes.

After what feels like an eternity, a doctor finally arrives and it's the same one who brought breakfast and he looks positive and smiles at Kajsa.

"I see you've finished your food. The tests were positive so you can go home if you want. I can arrange transport if you want."

"Yes, thank you. I want to go to Reivägen 12. I was thinking of visiting my family, if that´s ok."

"Of course its ok. We can arrange a transport to that adress. Get ready and the transport will be here in about 20 minutes. They'll pick you up at the main hospital entrance. There's a lot of snow outside and the roads are slippery."

"Thank you."

The doctor leaves the room and Kajsa leaves the bed and changes into her regular clothes and takes the thick jacket out of the closet. The jacket is still covered in the unicorn's black blood and Kajsa thinks she has to wash the jacket when she gets home. It was still dirty in a few places so it's time for that. Kajsa remembers that Sylvia never asked what the black thing on the jacket was. Maybe she didn't understand that it was blood.

Kajsa leaves the room and goes out into the corridor. There are some doctors in the corridor and Kajsa greets them as she walks past but she doesn't see Sylva anywhere. Maybe her shift is over. Kajsa leaves the observation ward and goes down to the hospital's main entrance and waits for the transport. The entrance and the large waiting room in the hospital are full of people. Some of the people look like they're in pain while others look bored.

After 10 minutes, a taxi arrives and the driver rolls down the window and looks questioningly at Kajsa.

"Transport ordered for Nina Kajsa Edelgren"

"That´s me."

Kajsa gets in the taxi and it leaves the hospital. The driver seems used driving on slippery roads and he drives towards Bertil's home. Kajsa doesn't say much during the journey and neither does the driver. Kajsa thinks it's good that the driver is focused on the traffic instead of talking. The driver has a GPS so he finds a good route to Bertil. Kajsa is surprised that the driver doesn't drive over the big bridge but chooses a different direction and it turns out to be faster. Kajsa can soon see the large residential community where Bertil lives.

When the taxi arrives at Bertil's villa, Kajsa sees that Jack's Opel is parked outside the villa, but also a yellowish Fiat, and she is confused. No one in the family drives a Fiat. Bertil always drives Ford and Jack always Opel. It has been that way for years. Kajsa gets out of the taxi and it leaves the villa community. Kajsa looks at the Fiat with a critical eye. Compared to Bertil's Ford, this car looks like a toy.

The front door of the villa opens and Jack comes walking and he smiles at Kajsa. Kajsa points to the Fiat with a questioning expression.

"Who in the family has bought a Fiat?"

"Oh, it's just a loaner car. Bertil has it while his Ford is being repaired."

"Oh, of course. I should have understood that."

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head really hard yesterday? It's not like you not to understand such things"

"But stop. I didn't think that Bertil's car needed fixing."

"Well. You look good and that's the most important thing. Should we go inside? It's a bit chilly out here."

"Sure thing"

Kajsa and Jack enter the villa and when they enter, Kajsa feels that it is warmer than usual and that it smells faintly of burning wood. Kajsa knows that there is a tiled stove in the living room but it has not been used for over two years. Kajsa looks towards the living room. Jack sees that Kajsa is looking out towards the living room and he smiles.

"Both Göran and Bertil thought it was cold indoors so Göran light a fire in the tiled stove. It gets warm and cozy as you might feel."

"Yeah, i noticed."

Bertil and Göran come walking from the living room and Kajsa sees that Göran has his system camera around his neck. Kajsa knows that Göran has barely used the system camera and she is curious about why he has it in front of him.

"Are you taking photos?"

"Yes, I have been assigned to take good photos for Hemnet so that the villa can be sold."

Kajsa makes a surprised gasp when she hears what Göran says and the strange thing is that he looks positive. Kajsa got the impression that he was negatively disposed to this when Jack told her about it last night. Bertil nods at Kajsa.

"Jack told you that I'm thinking of selling the villa. Göran and I had a serious talk last night and he finally agrees with me."

"Have you already found an apartment for you to move into?"

"Everything is ready. I'll just sign the contract first. Göran will live with me at first but has promised to get his own place later."

"That sounds great."

Now that the whole family is together, Kajsa thinks it's a good idea to tell them what happened when Monika died and she looks serious.

"There's something I want to tell you about. I had planned to talk about it earlier but it didn't happen. You all remember the day mother died. You had gone to the cafeteria to buy coffee and I was alone with my mother. What happened was that..."

Kajsa tell them what happened and when she tells when she allowed her mother to let go, her voice becomes hoarse and the tears start to flow. She has kept her feelings of guilt for so long and now that she is talking about it, it is as if her emotions are completely overflowing. Kajsa sobs out the last words and both Göran, Bertil and Jack grab her hands and hold them tightly. They understand how hard it has been for Kajsa to keep this inside. Kajsa's body shakes with crying when she has finished talking and the rest of the family holds her close.

There is a long silence and only Kajsa's sobs and the crackling of the tiled stove can be heard. But then Göran starts to speak.

"It wasn't your fault. She was dying and we knew it but we chose to go to the cafeteria. We could have stayed in the room and said a few last words but we didn't and I regret not doing so. Regarding mom. I have reacted to something that has bothered me incredibly much but I don't know how you have reacted to it"

Kajsa and the rest of the family become curious about what has bothered Göran and they wait for him to explain but Göran is silent and looks at the rest of the family. Finally Bertil can't stand the silence any longer and sighs and looks questioningly at Göran.

"Well, what has bothered you? Let me hear."

Göran is silent for a few seconds but then he starts to talk and he sounds increasingly agitated as he speaks and he points at Bertil several times as he speaks.

"As soon as Mom died, Dad started removing everything in the house that reminded him of her. The blue flower was still blooming but it was thrown in the trash. The clothes were donated to Kalmar Second Hand and it was the same week she died. All the things that belonged to Mom are gone. I understand that you miss her and that it is your way of dealing with your grief, but removing the things feels more like you are cleaning up after some unwelcome person you would rather forget. Is that how you feel about Monika? You are sending the wrong kind of signals. Mom's things should be handled with respect and I feel that some of the things should have been left. Now that her things are gone, I have a harder time mourning her and it doesn't feel good and I think it is your fault."

There is silence again and everyone in the family seems to sink into thoughts about what Göran says. Kajsa has not cared about what has happened to Mom's things because she has felt that it has been Bertil's job to fix it. Kajsa was in Kalmar when her mother's clothes were donated, but it was mostly because she went along. Kajsa had already planned to visit Ikea when they were in Kalmar and that day was the best fit.

Jack thinks Göran is rude. Bertil has lived with Monika for many years and of course he should decide what happens to her stuff. Jack has not experienced Bertil being quick to remove Monika's things. Jack has never asked about Monika's things, he has let his father take care of it himself.

Bertil is saddened by what Göran says and he wants to explain things and speaks up.

"Okay, it's possible that I've been insensitive and almost thrown out some of Monika's things, but it hasn't been easy for me. When I've come home from work or when I've been alone on the weekend, the silence has been so dense that I've had to keep myself busy with something to keep from going crazy, and cleaning up after Monika has been the best choice. The rest of you probably have no idea what that kind of silence feels like, but it's terrible and goes right through your skin and soul. I had planned to save a few things and ask if the rest of you wanted them, but none of you have shown any interest. The blue flower started to smell strange, so that's why I threw it away. The loss of Monika has been intense, and her things have reminded me of her, and it's been hard. Plus, the Christmas things were supposed to be taken out at Christmas, so I took the opportunity to clean out more things. I also started planning to sell the villa, and then the things have to go whether I want to or not."

Göran looks ashamed and walks up to Bertil.

"I love you, Dad. I didn't mean anything bad."

"It's okay, my son. I understand what you said and maybe you're right about some of the things you said. I should have asked what the rest of you in the family thought."

Göran and Bertil give each other a long hug. The whole family starts to walk towards the living room but when they pass the stairs to the basement, Kajsa hears an unfamiliar sound from the basement and also smells an unusual smell and she is confused but then she understands. It is the unicorn that is heard and smelled. She had almost forgotten about it in the drama.

"Of course. You have an unusual guest. How is the unicorn?"

Göran looks amused when he hears Kajsa's question.

"You should go down and have a look. The unicorn is in the recreation room. If you ask me, it probably wants to go home, but I didn't want to let it out until you got back. It was fed a while ago, so it's probably not hungry."

Kajsa goes down the basement stairs and Göran follows and they go to the recreation room. They never use the recreation room, it's mostly used as a storage room. Kajsa sees that the unicorn looks lively and it's pacing around the room. The unicorn is even prettier than it was yesterday and it looks as if its fur sparkles in the different colors of the rainbow, but its base color looks to be gray. It looks as if Göran or someone else has washed the animal's fur because it looked dirtier yesterday. The unicorn is almost as tall as Kajsa. There are only a few centimeters in height that separate them

Kajsa walks up to the unicorn and gently strokes its fur and the unicorn backs away but then presses its warm head against hers. The unicorn's nose is moist like a horse's and it looks like a horse but doesn't sound like a horse. Kajsa thinks it's magical when the unicorn presses its head against her face and she looks into the unicorn's dark deep eyes and almost drowns in them. Kajsa changes her gaze so that she looks more from the side. The unicorn's long horn seems to sparkle in several colors and Kajsa feel it and it's really warm. Göran mumbles in the background.

"Be careful. I got an electric shock when I touched the horn and my insides were filled with a strange inner peace. I felt...whole again. It's as if the horn is magical."

Kajsa can't help but laugh when she hears what Göran says.

"Excuse me, but according to the books that my mother read when I was little, a unicorn is a magical animal, so its horn should also be magical."

Göran lowers his gaze.

"I never heard those stories when I was little. She very rarely read to me, but on the other hand, I didn't ask her to either."

Kajsa nods weakly and turns her attention to the unicorn.

"You want to go home, huh? It's obvious that you're not used to being indoors. Well, of course you can go home if you want. Follow me."

Kajsa waves to the unicorn and starts walking towards the cellar door and the unicorn follows happily, wagging its long tail. The unicorn's hooves hit the cellar floor and Kajsa is worried that there will be marks on the floor, but when she looks at the floor, she sees no damage. Kajsa sees that Göran has sewn up the wound on the unicorn's stomach so well that it is no longer visible that it was damaged there. Kajsa and the unicorn approach the cellar door and it seems as if the unicorn understands what the door means and becomes more lively. Kajsa stops and hugs the unicorn and she whispers in its ear.

"Thank you for saving my life."

Kajsa lets the unicorn go after a few seconds and continues walking forward. When Kajsa reaches the door, she opens it and the unicorn is not the least bit hesitant but starts walking up the stairs to freedom. Kajsa and Göran follow and soon they are up on the snowy grass. The unicorn walks across the lawn and it can be seen that it is heading towards the large forest behind the villa. Kajsa and Göran pass the glass door that leads to the living room and Kajsa can see that Bertil and Jack are standing and looking out the window. They are also curious about the unicorn and where it is going. The lawn is very large and long and the unicorn is starting to approach the end of the lawn and passes the low wall that is by the forest.

The unicorn walks up the small steps that lead to the forest and it continues up the low mountain and then disappears into the dense bushes. The last thing Kajsa sees is its happily wagging tail and then it is gone. The sound of the hard hooves slowly disappears and soon the forest is silent. Kajsa looks up towards the forest and she wishes that the unicorn had shown itself one last time before it disappeared. Kajsa feels that she would have liked to have had the unicorn as a pet but that would have been wrong. It deserves its freedom. Göran looks down at his feet and discovers that he forgot to put on his shoes and is standing in his socks.

"Oh, my socks are getting wet."

Kajsa looks at Göran's feet and sees that he is right and she starts to laugh lightly. Kajsa catches herself not having taken off her shoes when she came into the villa. She usually takes off her shoes but not today. The lawn is white from all the snow and Kajsa thinks it is unreal that the lawn is green under all the snow. Kajsa and Göran start walking across the lawn and they intend to go down the basement stairs but Bertil opens the door to the living room and lets them in that way. Kajsa takes off her shoes and places them by the front door while Göran takes off his wet socks.

Jack goes out to the kitchen to fix coffee while Göran takes his system camera and starts walking down the basement stairs and he smiles at Bertil and Kajsa.

"Now that the unicorn has left the villa, I can photograph the recreation room. I didn't want the unicorn to be in the picture in the ad."

Kajsa walks towards the basement stairs and grins at Göran.

"Who knows, maybe it would have been easier to sell the villa if the unicorn was in the picture. No one would have realized it was real."

"Maybe, but still risky. Better to be careful."

Jack comes back from the kitchen and he looks at Kajsa and Bertil

"There's leftovers in the fridge from yesterday if you're hungry. I have to buy new potato salad but otherwise there's food for all of us."

Kajsa doesn't feel hungry right now and neither does anyone else, but Jack drives off to buy more potato salad. When Göran comes up from the basement, they sit down on the sofa in the living room and are silent. Each of them is thinking about different things. Kajsa looks up at the ceiling and comes to think of the attic. Even though Bertil has cleaned a lot, he probably hasn't been there.

Monika said two years ago that the attic should be cleaned and the things that were there and not used should be thrown away. But none of them have been in the attic except when the Christmas stuff have been carried up and down. Now that the villa is to be sold, Kajsa thinks it's a good idea to clear the attic and she's becoming increasingly certain that she wants to. Bertil looks at Kajsa.

"If you want, you can borrow the car when Jack gets back and drive home."

"Well, I probably have other plans. Is it okay if I sleep over until Sunday?"

"Of course you can. I thought you wanted to go home. You didn't sleep over at Christmas."

"Christmas was a hard time for all of us and it felt like you wanted to be alone after the Christmas presents and everything. But now it feels like you want company too, so I'm staying. I have an idea for what we can do today, but I'll present it when Jack gets back."

Kajsa has a clever expression and both Bertil and Göran become curious about what she has planned. Monika could also be like that and it both bothered and amused them. Göran is aware that Kajsa is the one in the family who is most like Monika. The one who is most different is probably himself, but Bertil and Monika come from different cities and from different families. It was pure coincidence that they met, but when they did, they found each other right away and moved in together very quickly. Bertil sometimes thinks about how different everything would have been if he hadn't met Monika.

Bertil has had several photo albums and Kajsa has seen what Monika and Bertil looked like when they met and they looked very different then. Kajsa wonders if the photo albums are still there. If so, the whole family can sit and look at the pictures later today or tomorrow. Nowadays, all photographs are saved digitally in various cloud services or similar, but it was different when Kajsa was young. The Internet didn't exist then, but now it does. Kajsa thinks that development has been hysterically fast and she thinks that's both good and bad.

Göran picks up his mobile phone and shows Bertil a new game and he shows some interest, but Bertil can't help but look at Kajsa at regular intervals. Bertil wants full control, but he doesn't know what Kajsa has planned and it bothers him. Kajsa thinks it's good that Bertil is practicing not always having full control over everything. Life can't be controlled no matter how much you want to.