Previous Part | Main | Next Part

How would you react if you suddenly woke up in a different body? A different species? A different world? Your mind is clear and present, your memories and experience intact, but nothing else makes sense. Danger is everywhere but hope is lurking around the corner too.

Part 5: Preparations, confrontation, and consequences

---

Tension abounds. Pack in twos and threes appear and disappear from the northern edge of the
clearing. I trot a circle around the perimeter, my nose on high alert. Suddenly my presence here
has meaning. I belong. I'm part of the whole. I watch the senior wolves direct and manage the
defensive effort. I can perceive the humanity meshed with wolven instinct. Even my scouting is
augmented by my human subconscious. Stay in sight. Leave no gaps. Concentrate.

Nothing seems to happen for a time. I notice Tiger aiding Hammer and give him a small nod. He
looks scared. My heart is thumping too. Being useful is the only way I can cope. I don't dwell on the
possibilities. Bella and Ryker appear briefly and then head back out in a different direction.
Hammer and his advisors confer in hushed tones. The forest is alive with activity, but it seems
muted somehow, as if all life were holding its collective breath.

The sound of rain dripping through the canopy around the territory is the dominant sound; the smell
of damp undergrowth filling my nose. To a human, the smell of petrichor would be overwhelming
but my lupine nose is alive to the subtleties and changes. I feel small in the vast ecosystem but
interwoven in a way I'd never experienced as a human being. I have to shake myself from the
distraction of comparing my old life with the new and focus on the task at hand.

Shade pads towards me to check in.

"Anything?"

"Nothing yet. They haven't circled around us. Ryker and Bella are still out. I was hoping they'd be
back by now, but..."

I stop suddenly as out of the corner of my eye a flock of birds erupt from a grove a few hundred
yards to the north.

"Something's happening!"

Stone joins the two of us in looking north and we start to growl softly in unison. I bark sharply and
Hammer's head snaps toward me and then to the direction we're looking. More growls. Pack scouts
begin to emerge from the trees. Ryker and Bella run in from the north east, their fur ruffled and
streaked with rain, their eyes wide with alarm.

My wolven instincts come fully to the fore and I growl and my body coils as if looking to defend
against the nearest threat at a moment's notice. Ryker reaches us.

"There's no subtlety with these wolves. They're just coming straight at us in one big pack. Either
they're over-confident, desperate or stupid. We can't get around them though. We're going to have
to meet them where we have the biggest advantage; on turf we know best, right here. We can
funnel them through the rocks."

Bella's eyes are wild. I'd never seen her like this before. Stone hadn't exaggerated when I first
arrived. Bella is one fierce wolf! Anxious or not, her wolven side is not to be messed with. Before I
have a chance to speak to Ryker, Hammer's snarl cuts across all other noise from below the north
rocks and silence descends.

Very slowly, pack wolves take positions. I'm led by my instincts, but there's no argument from my
human consciousness. I stay with my friends, and my senses are locked on the trees to the north.
Hammer snarls again. The deep sound is pure defiance and sends shivers down my spine. The air
saturates with anticipation and seems to crackle with pent energy. Then everything is still. The pack
waits.

A huge grey-maned alpha of foreign scent pads through the trees and sits down on its haunches at
the northernmost edge of the clearing. He's joined almost at once by two aides: one male, one
female. The young male, at first impression, looks like a tank. Jet-black with eyes like bright topaz,
his manner reeks of confidence and ego, his frame packed with lean muscle. The silver female is
difficult to see behind the alpha, but I know her scent immediately. It had been fixed in my head
already the previous day. My breath hitches and Bella shoots me a look. No words are needed. I
simply growl anew. Absolutely nothing would divert me from defending my friends. I ask the air in
front of me simply as a way of breaking the tension.

"What happens now?"

More foreign wolves. Eight, ten, twelve; finally as many as sixteen. As I'm busy assessing the alien
pack's strength my eyes suddenly lock with those of the silver she-wolf. She's obviously an advisor
of some kind. Her scent and that of the alpha don't indicate they are mates. The jet-black wolf
beside her notices her interest in me and fixes me a look too, his manner dismissive and disdainful.
Bella and Ryker notice in turn and position themselves to either side of me as the stand-off
intensifies. Ryker gives me a simple instruction.

"Let your wolf do its thing."

Now wasn't the time for indecision or second thoughts. There's no time for human decisions; no
room for human diplomacy. Territory is survival. Resources are finite. The human-wolf pack's
territory is rich in food and fresh water, as well as shelter and warmth. The equation is very simple.
Animosity is building. Hammer very very slowly moves to the head of our pack's formation. My
heart feels an overwhelming sense of pride in his presence. His deep growl shakes the earth as he
walks, and he seems to grow in size with every step. Even Tiger appears calm and focused, all the
result of Hammer's leadership.

Growls and snarls are becoming amplified. The opposite alpha looks almost amused, and it only
fuels the fire. Uncertainty and hesitation are mixed in too. No-one is sure of the next move.
Hammer's wet fur bristles. He doesn't need to speak. His whole being shrieks "go away". The
alphas' eyes are glued to one another. In a rare movement the silver she-wolf circles behind her
alpha and approaches to one side. I see her pointedly look in my direction with a curious
expression, before she seems to whisper something. The alpha's gaze swivels toward me. I try to
stand boldly but my legs feel like jelly. The alpha seems to grin before his focus returns to Hammer.
The she-wolf whispers again and before there can be any reaction she dashes off back through the
trees to the north.

I don't have time to process her actions. The muscled black wolf to the alpha's left snarls loudly and
the grey alpha himself, oozing confidence, utters a single word.

"Mine."

At that moment both packs know it's only a question of when. Muscles coil. I plant my back feet
without conscious thought and feel every human-wolf do the same. Wolves at the edges of the
formation are trying to flank slowly. There would be no encirclement on our own patch. Confidence
could be high. We had the numbers, three to every two. Did they think themselves stronger? Us
weaker? Or is it simply a natural instinct to move against us? It was impossible to reconcile in
human terms. It is what it is.

Time drags on. Stone and Shade are shoulder to shoulder. I can feel Bella and Ryker's priority to
protect me faltering as they take a few steps forward. The pack comes first. Just as my human
mind dares to hope for an alternate ending, an enemy wolf to one side jumps a yard forward and
snaps his maw.

In a single heartbeat, all hell breaks loose.

Order becomes chaos. Wolves fly forward, snarls echoing off the trees. My legs are moving and my
mind goes blank. Defend. Defend. The fight starts in promising fashion. Unbeknownst to me,
certain members of the pack had obviously been trained via some human-type tactics. Rocks are
used to channel the enemy toward certain routes into the clearing proper, and defence is waiting
between them. Without meaning to I lose touch with my friends as I watch the two alphas come
together with a force that would move a small mountain. There's a gap in the wall of defence and
somewhere in my head, instinct moves me to fill it. Just as I see Hammer send the enemy alpha
reeling, I'm caught from my right flank and I sprawl into the dirt.

Suddenly I'm in a whirlwind of fur and teeth. The sense of knowing how to defend myself is bizarre
but my muscles move and my maw connects with an enemy's rear leg as if by magic. I can't hang
on though and the tan wolf in front rises first as I struggle to push my legs back under me. Just as
I'm bracing myself for pain, Ryker is there, and I'm temporarily deafened by the loud yelp of my
assailant. Ryker doesn't even wait. Human nature is suspended. I have a brief respite; enough time
to see Bella dominate two enemy wolves at the same time, and watch Tiger lead a lumbering
enemy a merry dance around the dens and out through the trees. By design or fear it's difficult to
tell but the distraction technique works. The mismatch is speed is startling. It was obvious where
Tiger's strength lay.

I turn this way and that to keep enemies from penetrating deeper into the clearing. We're holding
our ground. Stone comes into view and a brown furred enemy hurtles toward him.

"Stone! To your right!"

I howl loudly in his direction and Stone has just enough time to turn and crouch. He catches the
enemy wolf low, but the impact has them both cartwheeling backwards. Bella flies past to cut off
another attacker and in the hole created I check on Hammer. His dominance of the grey-maned
alpha is undiminished, but the enemy is almost frothing at the mouth with bloodlust. He turns again
having been thrown back for the umpteenth time. The longer it goes on, the more it drains our
leader. His size is his advantage but only for so long. As his opposite number squares off yet again,
I watch as his jet-black aide appears from behind the rocks and tears toward Hammer's exposed
right-hand side. I don't even blink.

It feels like slow motion, yet I've never run so fast in my life. I don't really know what I'm doing but
my legs pound the earth to intersect the run of the most powerful wolf in the opposing pack. My
brain freezes and only desperation carries me forward. My only advantage is that I'm faster. A
human decision would have been too late. By luck or instinct, I realise I'm going to cut the black
wolf off with only a few yards to spare. I snarl, open my maw and brace.

The impact knocks us both flying and the wind from my lungs. The enemy champion is up and
turned before I've even taken a breath and I can’t even rise before he's on me. Teeth pin my tail
and then my leg, but I wriggle and roll, catching him in the face. I finally manage to stand and turn
using the force of his next attack against him. I wince as I feel pain from the base of my tail where
he'd caught me, but my lucky shot has him dazed. The brief respite allows us to rise in sync, and
we face off. I don't even have to time for a human thought let alone a plan. He feints to my left and
then lunges right taking me full in the chest as I dumbly fall for the distraction. I yelp and whine. I
can't compete. I'm too inexperienced. He rolls over me and takes the air from my lungs again and
this time wriggling won't save me. I close my eyes as his maw descends onto my right shoulder,
and my world explodes in agony.

Like the moment watching the deer two days previously, time seems to slow. Lying upside down,
my eyes open and stare blankly into the distance behind me. My shoulder is on fire. Maybe I'm
hallucinating. About two hundred yards away I see a bright white wolf standing amongst the trees to
the west. It doesn't seem to be involved in the fight. I blink but I can't seem to focus. The white wolf
almost seems to glow. My vision swims. I vaguely sniff the air, but I don't register any scent from its
direction. The glow around the white wolf seems to pulse sending a wave of energy through me. I
can't explain it but fight and determination bloom inside me out of nowhere. I look up just as the jet-
black wolf brings its maw down towards my throat. Full of adrenaline and with sheer force of will, I
clamp my jaw over his muzzle instead.

The howl he lets out is akin to a scream. Without a second's hesitation I roll across my good
shoulder, curl almost in half and with the last of my strength bite hard on the wolf's flank. The
enemy champion screams again, this time in genuine pain rather than shock. He rolls away and I
realise I can taste his blood on my tongue. In the same moment I know I'm done. My last reserve is
gone. I close my eyes and expect the worst.

Seconds stretch out. I can hear howls, barks and snarls all around but slowly they seem to fade.
The air is filled with the smell of hot breath, blood and mud. I open my eyes again expecting to see
a black maw ready to finish me off, but instead the enemy alpha's champion is fifty yards away and
padding gingerly back into the trees to the north. I gasp with amazement. The enemy alpha is
nowhere to be seen but more enemy wolves are retreating into the trees. Hammer stands ten yards
from me breathing hard but seemingly uninjured; his only focus is the retreat of the enemy. Finally,
the only sound left is the gentle patter of rain.

We'd prevailed.

I feel a huge rush of relief but just as quickly the adrenaline drains away and the pain returns. I
can't help but whimper and whine. The rain is there to wash away the blood and grime, but I can't
bend in the right direction to tend to myself. As I lie helplessly, I happen to notice that I'm now
facing west, the direction of the strange white wolf, but it's gone. There are only trees at the edge of
the clearing by the river. I try to focus on what I'd seen to distract my brain from the shooting pain in
my shoulder. It had been an ethereal experience. Yes, I was injured and desperate, but I was still
present and in the moment. It had been no hallucination I was sure of it. What on earth was it and
what was it doing there? It's appearance and stately manner defied all logic. I close my eyes again
briefly to fix what I'd seen in my memory, almost afraid that the vision would fade like a dream in the
morning.

Very slowly I start to perceive the scene around me. Hammer is inspecting the trees to the north as
if daring the enemy pack to try again. I lift my head. My shoulder screams at me but I need to
survey the scene and find my friends. Ryker is there as if by magic. His muzzle shows signs of
blood, and his movement is slow from exertion, but he seems ok. He nuzzles my back to reassure
me.

"Try not to move. Let me help."

Ryker circles around and starts to lick my shoulder. The sting takes my breath away but slowly the
warmth of his tongue and the balm of his saliva relieves the pain somewhat and cleans the wound.
I'm too exhausted to reply. After a few minutes he sits on his haunches and inspects his work. The
bleeding had stopped.

"It's going to take time, but you'll be ok. Three legs are just about enough for the time being. You
won't be hunting for a while though. Looks like I'll be heading back to that warren again soon for
some dinner for you. Now, things are...difficult...right now. We saw them off but..."

He stops and whines. I can see a look in his eyes. Suddenly there's an almighty howl from behind
me. Panicked, I ignore the pain and push myself up on my one functional front leg. For the first time
I can see behind me. Pack wolves are standing in a circle on a small rise to the east, not far from
the point I'd first entered the clearing with the strange bear. Hammer walks past towards the
gathering, nodding at Ryker as he does so. My vision clears and I can see Shade howling at the
sky. For a moment I'm unsure what's going on, but then...then I see a wolf lying motionless in front
of her.

I panic and rush to push myself forward forgetting my body completely. My bad leg touches the
ground in my desperation to get to Shade but it buckles, and I yelp with frustration and agony.
Beyond the pain, my body is wracked by sudden terror and emotion. Ryker has to almost bite my
tail to stop me from lurching forward and hurting myself even more.

"Denzel. Denzel! There's nothing you can do. Stop. Listen to me!"

I stop and whine, my mind turning to mush. Ryker nuzzles my neck.

"He's gone Denzel. There was nothing any of us could do. Stone is dead."

My brain doesn't want to work. I shake my head again and again, as if trying to wake myself. The
memory of the first moment I awoke in the forest as wolf comes flooding back.

"It's not real! None of this is real! What the fuck's happening to me!"

I howl at the sky as I break down completely. Ryker nuzzles me and lets me cry. Gradually more
howls join my own from afar. I start to slowly make my way towards Stone's body, Ryker pressed
against my side to support me both mentally and physically. Bella meets us halfway, unable to
speak, whimpering as she walks to my other side. My bad leg can bear no weight, so I'm forced to
limp with my shoulder as immobile as possible, my paw curled underneath me. It's slow and
agonising but I don't care. I need to be with the rest of the pack.

As we reach the eastern rise, I see Hammer approach Stone and Shade with the low growl of
responsibility in his throat. Shade is inconsolable with grief, her paws covering her face, her
normally pristine fur matted and soaked. Howls cease for a moment as the pack watches. Stone
looks peaceful, as if taking a brief nap. Hammer's normally rock solid exterior breaks and his body
collapses in front of Shade. He nuzzles and licks her paws gently with love. For a moment,
Hammer's humanity shines through and my heart breaks. He completely submits and waits. Very
slowly Shade looks up and Hammer licks her muzzle. The moment freezes in time. Why was any of
this happening? What was I doing here? Reality was completely torn.

Just as my confusion threatens to overwhelm me, Hammer rises to his feet, looks to the sky and
howls. Our alpha's howl is deep and mournful. It seems to resonate in my chest, and I can't help
but add my own howl to his. Soon enough the whole pack shares Shade's grief. The forest seems
to tremble with the weight of the sound, the trees themselves bowing their heads in mourning.
Ryker and Bella stand beside me, their bodies shaking with emotion. The unity is so powerful that
my confusion is immediately forgotten. I'm a wolf standing with my packmates, and we shall stand
together for ever.

The rain stops. More than one wolf shakes themself. The sudden silence seems to hang over the
clearing like a shroud. Very slowly the pack begins to disperse. Bella goes to Shade. I notice Tiger
does too. Ryker stays with me as I simply stare into space.

"Denzel. I know this is hard. The hardest moment of your life maybe. I want you to know though,
you were incredible back there. You know what you did right? Has it sunk in? You saved Hammer's
life."

It hadn't sunk in. I'd been on running on pure wolven instinct since the moment the fight had
started. Hammer turns toward me, and I can feel his eyes bore into me, but they soften almost at
once. He cocks his head to one side and in the manner of a wolf of few words addresses me simply
with his deep voice.

"Thank you, Denzel. You are a true wolf and my friend."

Then he nods his head, a slow deliberate motion, acknowledging my place in the pack. We share a
profound moment, and I sense something important has just happened. As Hammer moves away,
Ryker nudges me, and I turn to see his eyes shining with respect.

---

It's three days later. I'm sitting in my favoured spot by the stream looking at my reflection as the sun
starts to set. I don't have anything to do, but I can't do much anyway. I'd slept a lot; so had Shade. A
steady rotation of pack members had not left Shade alone since the battle in which Stone had been
killed. I hadn't been one to keep her company, given my injury, and I'd slept in a separate space to
stop my leg from being knocked. The pain was now a dull ache, and I still couldn't place more than
a brief light pressure on my front leg, so my days were spent becoming intimately familiar with my
new face and thinking everything through over and over.

Ryker had been patient. Whilst Bella tended and even hunted for Shade, Ryker kept me company
and brought me food. After questioning whether I could have done anything to save Stone for the
dozenth time, he had had to jolt me into reality with some choice oaths. It wasn't my fault. It hadn't
stopped me from questioning other aspects of that fateful day though. Why had the she-wolf
whispered to the alpha and then vanished? Why on earth had she been staring at me in the first
place? Most of all however, what was the shining white wolf doing in the trees simply watching the
fight unfold? On the latter, I hadn't told anyone what I had witnessed. No-one else had mentioned
the odd wolf so I worried that I'd imagined it.

Ryker pads over and lies down next to me. He had become used to my melancholy and I couldn't
work out how he was coping so effortlessly. It almost made me want to bark at him. I take a deep
breath and huff. It wasn't Ryker's fault either, but it was hard not to snap at any and everything
within snapping distance. Ryker looks across at me.

"There's been no sign or scent of the enemy pack. Hammer is pulling back the scouts for the night."

He pauses and senses my mood before seemingly reading my mind.

"Stone wasn't the first you know. You arriving here and becoming part of this; this is the most peace
we've had since the first wolves. I've seen wolves die. Injury, illness; a few even starved to death in
the early moons. It seems awful to imagine but many never even had a pack to support them. We
simply have to stick together and cope together."

And with that Ryker tends to my shoulder again and then helps groom me a little so I don't need to
move. I turn my head towards him.

"Do you think the she-wolf knew something about me? Am I unique in some way? Was she trying
to warn the alpha to stay away from me? Why didn't she stay and help?"

Ryker stops and looks into my eyes.

"Let's put cards on the table. You like her don't you?"

I can't help but blush. Ryker smiles softly.

"It's ok you know. Hammer would probably laugh if he knew. You need to stop worrying about your
wolf half. The worst thing you can do is bottle everything up and pretend to be human. That's not
going to work. Wolves react on scent and instinct. It likely happened the very instant you first saw
her at the river. It's locked in your head now whether you try to deny it or not. Ok so she's with the
other pack, and that's...complicated, but almost every wolf here would understand how you feel."

I sigh and rest my head on my paws.

"Ugh, I just wish I knew something, anything about what's going on! Why is this all so meaningless?

"Does life have to have meaning?"

We stare at one another for a moment before Ryker nuzzles my neck.

"To be here for one another with love and friendship. To feel. To be part of this world and have this
chance. That should be enough."

He looks up at the trees swaying in the cool breeze as the birds fly up to their roosts.

"Yes, there is sadness, but there will also be joy. Don't give up. Stone gave his life to protect
everything we now have, and so the next time the bear arrives with a new wolf, we can comfort and
protect them, just like we did with you. You're strong Denzel, and if there's one wolf in this pack that
can work it all out, then it will be you."

Ryker stays for a few more minutes before wordlessly rising and padding away towards his bed.
I turn my head behind me and look at the pile of rocks that mark Stone's grave. I would work this
out. Before my time was up I would explain everything.

---

End of part 5