I’m currently on what I like to call a kind of 'cave art pilgrimage' here in France with my partner. I knew that one of my favorite tattoo artists, Daniel ( totemic_tattoo ), lives in this area, someone who is deeply passionate about cave art and the Paleolithic era, and who dreams only of animals.

I’ve wanted a tattoo for a long time, but I kept feeling indecisive about the what, the when, and the where. It had to feel right, not just the art, but also the person creating it. Every time I almost went through with it, I ended up putting it off. Right before this trip, the thought of finally getting one kept coming up, but I brushed it aside.

All my life, I’ve learned to ride the waves of other people’s emotions so much that my own often become muddy and quiet.

I need more time to process, and before I know it, the moment has passed and no longer feels like it can be mine. It’s been hard for me to follow my feelings and make choices that are truly just for me. Except when it comes to art, in art, I feel free to choose. I thought, maybe if my art can speak for me, then I don’t really have to.

dislike being perceived; in that sense, I feel more like an animal, most of whom prefer to stay unseen by humans. But because of this, it’s been hard for me to make space for myself and to let people get to know me, too.

That’s why it felt so meaningful, to have my very first tattoo done by Daniel. He’s humble, knowledgeable, and down to earth, and someone I felt I could truly trust. It takes me a long time to trust people; like a cautious creature, I had been quietly observing before finally finding the courage to go through with it.

Daniel describes tattooing as 'scratching away the skin to reveal the tattoo that’s been there all along.' That idea really touched me. Through this experience, I was able to sit with my body’s flight mode, go through the pain, and still feel safe. As someone who carries a lot of fear in my body, that felt surprisingly healing, corny as it might sound.

With this stag, I feel seen, and I’m sure it won’t be my last. To experience something as ancient as humanity itself, to mark my body like countless people before me, felt like connecting to something timeless.

Thank you, Totemic tattoo (on IG) , for your incredible work and for helping me create this moment for myself.