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This is an old biographical image done for me by 
o-kemono way, WAY back two years ago.
At the time I was afraid of not being "good enough" to be a full girl and attempting to live androgynously was caused me to get attacked almost daily by people for not having an obviously binary appearance. I no longer identify as Andro (i never really did, i was just afraid to do what I knew I needed to in my heart) I'm a trans woman and I'm basically far along enough now to just be waiting on surgery lists - so this really isn't me anymore.
Still, HERE'S WHAT I WROTE ABOUT BEING ANDROGYNOUS/AMBIGUOUSLY GENDERED
... “Love? Love is great, sure: the contented, blind, all-encompassing love. Love doesn’t care about your wrinkles, species or gender – it’ll hand you a candy bar and say /“hey kiddo, cheer up – I’m here for ya”. Yeah, love is grand, magical. But Love has some ugly brothers: real sleaze balls. Lust. Attraction. Obsession. Attraction is the worst. He’s Love’s twin, besides he could afford Lasec or something because he’s a choosy asshole when it comes to looks. Love takes time, it needs to maul stuff over and add the pieces together. Attraction is direct: “Hairy?” “No.” “Bad teeth?” “No.” and there’s your attraction. He’s a curious jerk. It’s all the taught, pert and lithe bits and God help you if you’re a few pounds overweight. Attraction is a pervy gym instructor and you’d better be supermodel or a hunk.
Attraction takes over your life from 13. That’s the first time I remember getting hit with something. It was a bottle of Dr. Pepper, it was half full so I got drenched in that fake cherry flavouring they use. You see, Attraction has a little cell phone right up inside your head and he can call anyone he wants. He can call over Love and then things are peachy. He can call over Lust and Fetish and things get handsy. But he can also call over the meat heads: Disgust, Anger, those kind of dudes. That’s where the bottle of Dr. Pepper comes into it..
I’ve got a round face, cute snout, long hair, a bit more hour-glass than the first Dr. Pepper incident – but not bad, if I say so myself. I keep myself trimmed and groomed. Everything you should do. Everything a girl should do. But here’s the issue: the bump in the front of my pants shows I’m not a girl, even if the bumps at the front of my shirt say otherwise. The doctors aren’t sure why, I’m not a transsexual it’s just ‘genetics’, they said some percentage have the problem, but usually male hormones overpower the female ones. ‘Androgynous’, ‘Herm’, ‘Bi-gendered’, it doesn’t matter. That’s where Attraction calls up Disgust and Anger. Most resort to anger when they realise, like I’ve tricked them – not their own eyes and lusts. It’s not my fault, but it is my body. I try hiding it, try concealing everything with baggy clothes but then people have to stop – they have to inspect me, work me out like a puzzle, and then they heckle worse. They throw harder. I pass them and they shout “Hey! Are you a guy or a chick?!” My hoodie paints me as a depressed Emo, my baggy clothes making me a target anyways. I’m old enough to go to bars, but I don’t fit in there – straight men and gay women hit on me but I can’t fulfil either, I’m a trap. And gay men and straight women can’t accept my shape.
Why can’t they accept it... if they can’t then maybe I should hide who I am? What I am... Or maybe I can trick them? Be more of a girl and hope they don’t mind finding out later. Try to grow a beard, cut my hair, bind my chest – be a man. Maybe after they love me they will be blind to it all... Can you love someone who’s slipped between the lines? Is there really a ‘best of both worlds’ like the yiff sites say?” ...
Illustration © o-kemono
Story © Me
o-kemono way, WAY back two years ago.At the time I was afraid of not being "good enough" to be a full girl and attempting to live androgynously was caused me to get attacked almost daily by people for not having an obviously binary appearance. I no longer identify as Andro (i never really did, i was just afraid to do what I knew I needed to in my heart) I'm a trans woman and I'm basically far along enough now to just be waiting on surgery lists - so this really isn't me anymore.
Still, HERE'S WHAT I WROTE ABOUT BEING ANDROGYNOUS/AMBIGUOUSLY GENDERED
... “Love? Love is great, sure: the contented, blind, all-encompassing love. Love doesn’t care about your wrinkles, species or gender – it’ll hand you a candy bar and say /“hey kiddo, cheer up – I’m here for ya”. Yeah, love is grand, magical. But Love has some ugly brothers: real sleaze balls. Lust. Attraction. Obsession. Attraction is the worst. He’s Love’s twin, besides he could afford Lasec or something because he’s a choosy asshole when it comes to looks. Love takes time, it needs to maul stuff over and add the pieces together. Attraction is direct: “Hairy?” “No.” “Bad teeth?” “No.” and there’s your attraction. He’s a curious jerk. It’s all the taught, pert and lithe bits and God help you if you’re a few pounds overweight. Attraction is a pervy gym instructor and you’d better be supermodel or a hunk.
Attraction takes over your life from 13. That’s the first time I remember getting hit with something. It was a bottle of Dr. Pepper, it was half full so I got drenched in that fake cherry flavouring they use. You see, Attraction has a little cell phone right up inside your head and he can call anyone he wants. He can call over Love and then things are peachy. He can call over Lust and Fetish and things get handsy. But he can also call over the meat heads: Disgust, Anger, those kind of dudes. That’s where the bottle of Dr. Pepper comes into it..
I’ve got a round face, cute snout, long hair, a bit more hour-glass than the first Dr. Pepper incident – but not bad, if I say so myself. I keep myself trimmed and groomed. Everything you should do. Everything a girl should do. But here’s the issue: the bump in the front of my pants shows I’m not a girl, even if the bumps at the front of my shirt say otherwise. The doctors aren’t sure why, I’m not a transsexual it’s just ‘genetics’, they said some percentage have the problem, but usually male hormones overpower the female ones. ‘Androgynous’, ‘Herm’, ‘Bi-gendered’, it doesn’t matter. That’s where Attraction calls up Disgust and Anger. Most resort to anger when they realise, like I’ve tricked them – not their own eyes and lusts. It’s not my fault, but it is my body. I try hiding it, try concealing everything with baggy clothes but then people have to stop – they have to inspect me, work me out like a puzzle, and then they heckle worse. They throw harder. I pass them and they shout “Hey! Are you a guy or a chick?!” My hoodie paints me as a depressed Emo, my baggy clothes making me a target anyways. I’m old enough to go to bars, but I don’t fit in there – straight men and gay women hit on me but I can’t fulfil either, I’m a trap. And gay men and straight women can’t accept my shape.
Why can’t they accept it... if they can’t then maybe I should hide who I am? What I am... Or maybe I can trick them? Be more of a girl and hope they don’t mind finding out later. Try to grow a beard, cut my hair, bind my chest – be a man. Maybe after they love me they will be blind to it all... Can you love someone who’s slipped between the lines? Is there really a ‘best of both worlds’ like the yiff sites say?” ...
Illustration ©
o-kemonoStory © Me
Category Artwork (Traditional) / All
Species Wolf
Size 615 x 834px
File Size 383 kB
man parts, woman parts, who cares? About 90-95% of the world. Sadly, it's the androgynes that suffer. Being a person who is one, but mistaken as another I have a fairly good idea what that means. I don't have chest bumps, but that hourglass figure is mine. I have long curly hair. it just looks better that way. I have very littel body hair. I move with a grace that is simply grace, not predatory at all. I also walk a little differently than men do. my body structure in cluding some major muscles are feminine. I have a slender upper body and hips that smooth down into my thighs, instead of bulging. I do not sound like a woman. I am softspoken, and quiet. I am mistaken for a woman often. I no longer care. I am me. I have passed through the stage of life she is at in this picture and moved on to my own resolution. I will not say that my teenage years were kind, they flat out sucked. but that is how 'normal' people treat those different.
Plus bigger boobies so I litterally CAN'T confuse people.
But yes, I have amazing friends and so much love and support. This is a very good point in my life when i can actually sit down with others and be like "Ok, now I'm ready to actually pass on some of this information and help to you too"
But yes, I have amazing friends and so much love and support. This is a very good point in my life when i can actually sit down with others and be like "Ok, now I'm ready to actually pass on some of this information and help to you too"
i am still feeling the pain of similar things and here i am at 26. it's pathetic that people are so self-absorbed that they act like that due to their own selfish desires and ways. even binary gender doesnt stop the bad of these ass hole brothers of attraction.
at this point i'm still stuck in limbo bouncing back and forth and it creates a lot of hell for me. people are hurtful.
Fortunately for the new generation, androgynous seems to be becoming little by little the 'in' thing, so they can determine gender at will. as for the ones who have already been hurt, it's too late... i'm glad you've been able to reach the gender area you'd like, because you need it and deserve it...
you have an adorable fursona. your user icon is almost like the total opposite in atmosphere to the pic here, due to the huge amount of happiness on your face and such. your fursona itself looks more confident, more content, more radiant, happier with life, and more sure of herself than the poor thing in the picture that looks like it needs a hug...
it makes me happy to see that you've made it to a better stage. Keep it up and keep hold of life!
at this point i'm still stuck in limbo bouncing back and forth and it creates a lot of hell for me. people are hurtful.
Fortunately for the new generation, androgynous seems to be becoming little by little the 'in' thing, so they can determine gender at will. as for the ones who have already been hurt, it's too late... i'm glad you've been able to reach the gender area you'd like, because you need it and deserve it...
you have an adorable fursona. your user icon is almost like the total opposite in atmosphere to the pic here, due to the huge amount of happiness on your face and such. your fursona itself looks more confident, more content, more radiant, happier with life, and more sure of herself than the poor thing in the picture that looks like it needs a hug...
it makes me happy to see that you've made it to a better stage. Keep it up and keep hold of life!
I'm sorry that you're stuck in limbo yourself.. It really does take just a little bit of soul searching and a bit of courage/desperation to stick up for yourself and what you need.
I have friends who chose non-binary paths, some to the point where they have no legal gender and no gender-specific titles or pronouns. I know it's very hard for them still but people are making headway and fighting for their rights to be themselves (gender neutral toilets, removing gender from surveys, new non-binary titles, legal recognition)
I'm keeping up my life, thank you ^_^ Yes this image and my avatar are complete opposites ^_^; very similar to myself now and then. There's a big difference from the person afraid to speak because they hated the sound of their own voice, in baggy goth clothes,hiding inside and having to force themselves to leave the house And the woman in the crop-top yelling at her stall at a LGBT pride festival trying to get new members to come to the support group she helps run.
I have friends who chose non-binary paths, some to the point where they have no legal gender and no gender-specific titles or pronouns. I know it's very hard for them still but people are making headway and fighting for their rights to be themselves (gender neutral toilets, removing gender from surveys, new non-binary titles, legal recognition)
I'm keeping up my life, thank you ^_^ Yes this image and my avatar are complete opposites ^_^; very similar to myself now and then. There's a big difference from the person afraid to speak because they hated the sound of their own voice, in baggy goth clothes,hiding inside and having to force themselves to leave the house And the woman in the crop-top yelling at her stall at a LGBT pride festival trying to get new members to come to the support group she helps run.
well aren't you totally awesome <3
and i'm mostly now just stuck in limbo due to being stuck in a job i went into as a male, and living with my mother who has proven she's not able to handle much of anything other than people being sheep. i know what i am, ive known for years, and i have simply been trying to find a chance to grab hold of what i want and take it (for once in my life). so yes i may be stuck in limbo but i know where to go once i find the way out. ^^;
and i'm mostly now just stuck in limbo due to being stuck in a job i went into as a male, and living with my mother who has proven she's not able to handle much of anything other than people being sheep. i know what i am, ive known for years, and i have simply been trying to find a chance to grab hold of what i want and take it (for once in my life). so yes i may be stuck in limbo but i know where to go once i find the way out. ^^;
Transitioning at work can be a pain, yes, but it's something that might need to be done if you're trapped in the job.
As for family.. yeah... Everyone i know has pretty much had some level of similar story so... yeah.. All i can say is that I really wish you good luck and there are some really handy websites out there (Especially GIRES) that have a lot of information packs for families to help them.
Age is certainly also a factor that pretty much pushed the decision on me too - Didn't want risk the hormone treatments not working as well the older i got. :<
As for family.. yeah... Everyone i know has pretty much had some level of similar story so... yeah.. All i can say is that I really wish you good luck and there are some really handy websites out there (Especially GIRES) that have a lot of information packs for families to help them.
Age is certainly also a factor that pretty much pushed the decision on me too - Didn't want risk the hormone treatments not working as well the older i got. :<
Hehe this reminds me I am on a youtube video from our local Czech LGBT pride festival, I am talking to the mic about neonazis who were trying to attack or provoke our festival (there were only 150 of them though and the police blocked their path, so they got stuck in a street from both ways :P) I was very shy before but now I am open and fear nothing <3
I got it every day for... oh at least 6 years, probably closer to 8. So I got used to just ignoring it. I used to get bottles and stones thrown at me a lot and spat on but I only got my nose broken once and a few other minor fight.
It's all in the past now either way, thank the gods.
It's all in the past now either way, thank the gods.
It's hard to smack people when there's 10 of them. Or when they're in a moving vehicle.
I just learnt to tune it out. This particular instance was a bad one because it had snowed and i was walking up an icy path between my university and a highschool and the highschool kids were on break and throwing snowballs at me as i walked up the whole length of their playground
I just learnt to tune it out. This particular instance was a bad one because it had snowed and i was walking up an icy path between my university and a highschool and the highschool kids were on break and throwing snowballs at me as i walked up the whole length of their playground
Awww poor thing :< I never seen people in our country attack someone just because he/she looked different. If I do not know if someone is male or female I just try to imagine and do not care, these people have no life, haters are the worst sort. Everyone should look like whatever they want and people should respect that. I like you, because you're brave now and you are doing the right thing, everyone should follow their dreams ^_^
'cause you're a nice person? (this instance was a couple of 13-14 year old boys though, so probably not the best things to wack with crowbars, people tend to frown when you go into large school-like establishments and start killing the kids there)
It looks to me like the setting is a dark alley. As if society's narrow-minded demands are closing in on you.
If you don't mind, I'm in the mood to share a quote from the movie version of Inherit the Wind. It seems to be appropriate here:
“Young lady, I know what Burt is going through. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. It’s like walking down an empty street, listening to your own footsteps. But all you have to do is knock on any door and say, ‘If you let me in, I'll live the way you want me to live, and I'll think the way you want me to think,’ and all the blinds'll go up and all the doors will open, and you'll never be lonely, ever again. "
If you don't mind, I'm in the mood to share a quote from the movie version of Inherit the Wind. It seems to be appropriate here:
“Young lady, I know what Burt is going through. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. It’s like walking down an empty street, listening to your own footsteps. But all you have to do is knock on any door and say, ‘If you let me in, I'll live the way you want me to live, and I'll think the way you want me to think,’ and all the blinds'll go up and all the doors will open, and you'll never be lonely, ever again. "
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