For   amporat

This piece was as much interesting, as challenging.
The premise is simple: pseudo-religious imagery of a character I’ve already drawn as a knight, full artistic freedom.
Simple, but not simple when you create a really inspiring base, but then feel like you have to bring it to life and you get too focused on a specific “right” way to do it. I’ve tried a lot of things, but all of them felt wrong because they all were in a box

No matter what I did the piece didn’t ring for me.
You know that feeling, when the piece is so crystal clear perfect it rings, like a perfectly tuned instrument?

Well, that’s exactly what I came to understand saints are. Their energy becomes crystal clear.
They let go of their human form during life for a higher purpose.
And this is how iconography of this religion would express that.
This character sacrificed himself, emptied his flesh, the only thing that’s left was his pure essence, and his flesh and blood created new life.

And this is what I had to go through myself during making of that piece in my personal life: I had to empty myself to come out of the box of what I called “self” and to become crystal clear myself, become my essence.
I’ve always been scared to fully express myself in commission work, even when clients been very clear with me they are interested in my voice and nothing else, they want me to be happy and enjoy myself.
I burned out so much because I just felt so scared to do that for years, I couldn’t replicate the freedom I had with myself to play and experiment, to show my vulnerability and risk.
I felt like commissions should be something reliable, expected, I was so afraid to surprise a client with something too out there and scare people away with my truth.
So this clarity of my pure essence is exactly that, my vulnerability, my truth, my wants. It’s pure transparency, with myself and others.

This all was such a journey
So obvious now, but a complete mystery in the thick of it
As always

_____
31,5 hours of work
After 20 hours I scrapped most I’ve done before, trusted my gut and started again. And this is how I remembered why I do this at all