I've been needing to draw this for a while, but it took this long to be able to do it without breaking down.

I got Mew as a six week old kitten when I was twelve, the summer before an event that would alter my life for quite some time. He was small, curious about everything, and very energetic. He'd often claw at the bathroom door just so we'd let him in and he could watch the water when we flushed it, I think he wanted to know where it went.

That fall I wound up institutionalized for six months following a suicide attempt. The following spring I was released, doped out of my mind and three times the size I was going in due to side effects from the drugs, to find my kitten had become a full grown cat. It always bothered me that I missed seeing him grow up.

Throughout High School he was my companion, staying close to me during my long nights up online. As I wound up living more and more like a hermit he'd spend his time staying in my bedroom with me whenever I'd have a window open.

In recent years he'd stopped going into my bedroom but he'd often follow me around the house, especially whenever I was cooking chicken or steak. He'd yowl his head off until I gave him a piece and then beg for more.

... I think it was when he stopped that I noticed something was wrong. Mew had developed rashes on his forehead, whether the were connected to this or not I don't know, but the doctors said allergy and gave us the cat equivalent of benadryl for him.

Later, a lump began to form on the underside of his chin, next to his throat.
My mother noticed it first and though I didn't want to admit it I think I knew what was going to happen.

Mew was diagnosed with throat cancer a short time later. He'd spend almost all of his time hiding in closets and cupboards from pain he couldn't comprehend as his body slowly withered from a plump tabby cat to skin and bones, the tumor making swallowing a painful experience and preventing him from eating.

We tried to keep him going, hoping that through some miracle it'd go into remission, and fed him canned kitten food mushed up in chicken broth... but the truth was that when the tumor began to grow his days were numbered.

The day after I got back from visiting Lexi, my mate, I finally had to put him to sleep.

We wrapped him in a baby blanket my mother had stashed somewhere and drove him to the vet, then after signing a release form I sat with him as the doctors first drugged him, then gave him the injection that would end his suffering.

I held his paw the entire time.



I've needed to get this out for a while. For me this is the final farewell to a friend who stayed by me through a lot of changes, few of them good ones.

Rest in Peace Mewcat... I miss you.