though it's not technically grammatically correct (especially with the line "why am I so hairy for" since it ends in a preposition), but it is a first person narrative. Plus this is really the lyrics to a song a wrote today, but I'm a terrible singer (although I'll probably try to sing it at a later time anyway).

"Why am I so hairy for?"
By Numunuu Coyote

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Since I was bitten by my neighbor next door,
I can't sleep on moonlit nights anymore,
And I get down, and I crawl on all fours.
Why am I so hairy for?

It wasn so bad exept that my wife
Kicked, and she screamed, and she ran for her life.
Then, she yelled right as she ran out the door
"Why are you so hairy for?"

I grabbed a razor to shave my dog face
So I could feel my wife's loving embrace,
But besides hair there was way too much more.
Why am I so hairy for?

It took a while for my wife to calm down.
I'm glad that she didn't take me right to the pound,
But we were not quite sure what was in store.
Why am I so hairy for?

So both of us had to come to our terms
With the problem, as the doctor confirms.
Nothing can be done about all this fur.
Why am I so hairy for?

As it turns out it was all just a dream.
We're both ok, or so it would seem.
and it'd be strange if I wondered any more:
Why am I so hairy for?

Yes, everything is quite fine I am sure.
Both my wife and I are covered in fur,
And that answeres the question from before:
Why an I so hairy for?