I’mma just say this now.

You are one of the most important people I need to learn about.

Got a good idea why I feel this way. Now all I gotta do is figure my shit out!

Taking anotha 1am sip of IPA

Well a toast to you, like it or not. My hand would not have moved, though I guess you know that.
I'm really quite one dimensional at this point. My favorite thing is getting black out drunk, my second is dreamless sleep. My sick mother deals with pain and fear possessing no grace, leans until I break.
Yet I love her, so-
What does that mean, in the end? I can't even leave. Just get so fucked up it doesn't hurt as bad as it would. Then there's monkey doctrines, commandments declaring that do I dare 'deviate' from certain standards its exquisitely evil endless torture forever.
I'm like the cop wandering into the gas station cross eyed after a particularly bad night. The world is just-what?
Fucked.

https://youtu.be/CjhVOCQqUPs?si=1lalpMM-HtWlisHQ

I’m only ashamed of what I failed to become. Who I lost, what it all was for.

Now I wait to live until I can find some way of making sure the same won’t happen with anyone else

Now that’s furry uwu

It's shining miles, something I miss, for this road is hard. I taped up my shoes, beheld the north, set soles to nowhere.

catharsis is good. How are you old friend? I've been missing a voice for a while. Rather, sometimes i find it hard to reach out. my apologies for my silence.

Like to say 'okay', and in a way that's true, in another it's not, yet what's the bones? Alive, not sick, death in no way apparently immediate, so that means fine and that's the truth.
Your voice...you are 'okay' too, I hope? Silence is fine. I fade away all the time. Doesn't mean I don't care. Social media seems to trick us into thinking we owe presence and energy. People who stand by such standards could do with some nothingness.
Anyway, good to know you're still here.

you're not wrong. Social media does give one the feeling of obligation to presence where there really should be none. My voice is alright now. I lost a pet not long ago and it was a hard blow for me. But we still move forward don't we? the world still turns. I suppose a lot of the time I live with a general malaise that can steal my voice from time to time as well. it always comes back eventually though and for the most part I dont mind being silent. It tends to be others who dont like it much.