ive been laughing at myself and crying for the past two hours. i feel everything and nothing. like a sinking pit in my core, a gnawing persistent ick that makes me want to sleep through everything. I'm terrified and fearless, and I can do everything and nothing. im god's gift to this earth and a blight that needs to be exterminated. im a sexless being with no carnal cravings, i feel like an alien.
i think im manic again
i think im depressed