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Twelve Easy Steps
by buckles
Photographer
14 years ago
Continued from: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3803865/
Crim, the incredible douche that he is, had written a self-help book or two, or perhaps even six at least. This one, however, was not just for profit. It was special, written for a friend most dear to our dog; Larry the Lion. He'd still make him pay for it though.
You see, 12 Easy Steps to Stop Snitchin' was written just to combat Larry's latent snitchery, which had grown unchecked for far too long. Why, just last day he had snitched to the timefeds when obvious traces of Ducky had turned up in history books from 1911. His tattling simply had to stop.
However, Crim, son of Crum, son of Crom, son of Xarok, was not able to give this book to Larry (son of Drak). For the plantigrade dog had attempted to gain maximum INT to write this unholy tome by using the resources at his local library. Tzeentch's library.
Furthermore, despite going under the clever pen name Nodwick Crimmington, his author photograph had been captured in such a way that his identity was easily verified to be that of Crim. (Also the "Crimmington" part contained his first name in full.)
Captured, no less, with Tzeentch's camera. Crim wanted the cover of the book in the author photo, which just so happened to be on the book's cover, and only a photographic device of intense Chaos could do this. This would be Crim's final error, again, as he was for the fourth or fifth time captured in an endless paradox from which he never would return.
He did this a couple more times at least.
(Fun fact: Ducky got a hold of this book. Didn't like it one bit.)
Crim, the incredible douche that he is, had written a self-help book or two, or perhaps even six at least. This one, however, was not just for profit. It was special, written for a friend most dear to our dog; Larry the Lion. He'd still make him pay for it though.
You see, 12 Easy Steps to Stop Snitchin' was written just to combat Larry's latent snitchery, which had grown unchecked for far too long. Why, just last day he had snitched to the timefeds when obvious traces of Ducky had turned up in history books from 1911. His tattling simply had to stop.
However, Crim, son of Crum, son of Crom, son of Xarok, was not able to give this book to Larry (son of Drak). For the plantigrade dog had attempted to gain maximum INT to write this unholy tome by using the resources at his local library. Tzeentch's library.
Furthermore, despite going under the clever pen name Nodwick Crimmington, his author photograph had been captured in such a way that his identity was easily verified to be that of Crim. (Also the "Crimmington" part contained his first name in full.)
Captured, no less, with Tzeentch's camera. Crim wanted the cover of the book in the author photo, which just so happened to be on the book's cover, and only a photographic device of intense Chaos could do this. This would be Crim's final error, again, as he was for the fourth or fifth time captured in an endless paradox from which he never would return.
He did this a couple more times at least.
(Fun fact: Ducky got a hold of this book. Didn't like it one bit.)
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Flash
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Dog (Other)
500 x 700
18.5 kB
But I do have a few extra signed copies on hand you could peek through if you're still interested. They were signed by Brosheep, though. For some reason thought he could get famous that way. His autograph ain't worth the wool on his brow, which is worth less than the brow-wool of your average sheep. Don't know what I just said.