...with a cameo from yours truly, an offended hog.

I mean really, did he have to say all that mean stuff about us! "Most filthy and impure... Clumsy and disgusting... Useless during life, and only valuable when deprived did it." I mean the nerve of some people!

🎨:  spicygaytor

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[Transcription]

"The Common Boar is, of all other domestic quadrupeds, the most filthy and impure. Its form is clumsy and disgusting, and its appetite gluttonous and excessive. In no instance has Nature more conspicuously shown her economy than in this race of animals, whose stomachs are fitted to receive nutriment from a variety of things that would be otherwise wasted: the refuse of the field, the garden, the barn, or the kitchen, affords them a luxuriant repast.

Useless during life, and only valuable when deprived of it, this animal has been sometimes compared to a miser, whose hoarded treasures are of little value till death has deprived them of their rapacious owner.

The parts of this animal are finely adapted to its mode of living. Nature has given it a form more prone than that of other animals. Its neck is strong and brawny its snout is long and callous, well calculated for the purpose of turning up the earth for roots of various kinds of which it is extremely fond; and it has a quick sense of smelling, by which it is enabled to trace out its food. It is naturally stupid, inactive, and drowsy; much inclined to increase in fat, which is disposed in a different manner, from that of other animals, and forms a thick and regular coat between the flesh and the skin. It is restless at a change of weather; and, during certain high winds, is so agitated, as to run violently, screaming horribly at the same time. It appears to foresee the approach of bad weather, as it previously carries straw in its mouth to its sty, prepares a bed, and seems endeavouring to hide itself from the impending storm.

Linnaeus observes, that the flesh of the Hog is a wholesome food for those that use much exercise, but bad for such as lead a sedentary life. It is of universal use, and makes in various ways a constant article in the elegancies of the table. It is of great importance to this country, as a commercial nation; for it takes salt better than any other kind, and consequently is capable of being preserved longer: It is therefore of great use in ships, and makes a principal part of the provisions of the British navy.

The domestic Sow generally brings forth twice a year, and produces from ten to twenty at a litter: She goes four months with young, and brings forth in the fifth. At that time they must be carefully watched, to prevent her from devouring her young: Still greater attention is necessary to keep off the male, as he would destroy the whole litter."