Of course, as you can see from the thumbnail, Lupus has a choice to make. We pick straight up from Chapter 7 to see what his decision is. Only two more chapters left until we finish part 1.
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Chapter 8 - Exposed
For what felt like forever, Lupus gazed at the door. The jaguar struck a second blow, with no hint of vexation.
Lupus walked over with measured footsteps, not wanting to test his added mass on the rigid floorboards, knowing one of them would creak underfoot. Lupus’s slouched posture did nothing to prevent his back from brushing the bedroom doorway on the way out. From that, he guessed his height to be north of seven feet. Then Liam spoke again. “Lupus, is everything okay?! I heard a bang—”.
“Yes—” He could only utter that single word before cutting himself off. He could feel in his chest how his voice had changed, let alone hear it. His speech had deepened; cognitive dissonance preceded his hesitant reply: “Yes, everything’s alright.”
Guilt filled the wolf after he had lied to his closest friend. He adored the jaguar’s presence; he needed its comfort. It was his optimal bet to ease himself as he stared horrified at his larger form. He dreaded how Liam would respond to his body’s transformation.
The wolf’s hands gripped his thighs. Hunched over on the floor, he looked in Liam’s direction and mouthed, “I am so sorry” before closing his eyes. He took a bite of the air and exhaled.
Yet, Liam was unconvinced. He knocked again and asked, “Dude, are you okay? You don’t sound so good.”
That stuttered Lupus. It presented the question to Lupus: would Liam alert the authorities?
Lupus ought to expect a ‘no’ in response. Except this time there were legal implications. If the feline aided him, he would break the Vastelerian Interaction Public Safety Act. The wolf’s hand released their vice grip from his thighs. Even if Liam said nothing, someone would.
“Lupus?” the jaguar stated with growing concern.
“It was my bed,” he replied, again grunting at his own voice. It wasn’t the whole truth, but true enough to prevent him from lying outright to his best friend. Though he was outgrowing his clothes, he refused to outgrow his commitment to honesty. A juxtaposition he wanted to preserve.
“You need to get a new bed,” chuckled Liam.
Lupus let out a laugh. “Yeah,” he agreed, but his snicker faded when he re-listened to his deeper voice. “I do.”
Every instinct urged him to walk towards the door, swing it open, and hold on to Liam. Wrap those fluffy hands around the jaguar and squeeze him into his chest. He would have already done that if he were at his normal height, but now he stood over a foot taller with enhanced muscular density. Aware of his strength, he fought the desire to hug his best friend to avoid overwhelming his physique.
That thought struck him, forcing him to occupy a dining chair, which struggled to support him. He slouched forward and raised both hands to catch his lowered head. Through the crotches of his fingers, he stared at his stretched and torn clothes around his enlarged body.
He felt ashamed. Ashamed of the horrendous complication. After all, Lupus was trying to hide from his best friend. He also worried that the jaguar would assume he had kept this hidden since the day they met at university.
“Alright, if you’re feeling up for it, are you ready to go hiking?” Liam’s voice emanated from beyond the door. “We need to beat the morning traffic, shorty,” he mocked with the same infectious, joy-filled tone.
If Lupus wasn’t trying to keep his size a secret, he would’ve flung that door open, and looked down at the short jaguar. Such behaviour would fit well in America. Not here, not in the UK.
Shame spread through him a weed. He wanted to reply; he craved to answer, ‘Just a second, I’ll be right out,’ or even a witty comment against Liam’s ‘shorty’ remark. He concentrated on figuring out an escape from this, if it proved possible.
The significant question: how much longer could he postpone Liam’s discovery?
“Would that work?” Liam’s vocalisation echoed through the entrance.
Lupus kept quiet. Of course, he wanted to say yes. Every part of him did. Hiking with his companion could do wonders for his well-being. Finding peace in nature’s beauty could help him gain control over his body. To do that, it required one thing.
Liam would have to see him.
Yet, his mouth stayed closed. Hoping that Liam might leave and buy him time to find a solution.
“Lupy, please talk to me,” Liam said to mask his worry.
Lupus found himself in a quandary. He didn’t want to risk revealing his growth spurt; it would cost him everything, but he couldn’t stomach ignoring Liam. Turning down Liam would prompt his demand to enter.
A third knock preceded Liam’s request, “Lupus, can you let me in?”
Lupus wavered over the dilemma enforced upon him. He wrestled with himself over whether to open the door. Confidence built through trusting the jaguar eliminated fear, so he stood and then proceeded toward the apartment entrance.
Four elongated fingers hovered over the handle for a moment before one digit deviated to lift the letterbox.
“Liam,” he whispered to mimic his previous voice, “could you close your eyes, please?”
There was a pause of silence. Then came Liam’s words, pitched somewhere between a teasing, playful tone and genuine confusion. “Huh? What are you up to, my mate?” Liam cooed.
Lupus didn’t answer right away. His hand hovered over the doorknob, while his heart fought to punch its way out of his ribcage. He could hear the smile in Liam’s voice, that usual lightness, even if underneath it there was a sense of concern.
“I’m going to open the door,” Lupus said, forcing each word past the tightening in his throat. “And I want you to walk inside—”
“Blindfolded?” Liam interrupted, trying to lighten the moment again. “Alright, alright. I trust you, but if you’re about to pull a prank on me, I’m shaving your fur coat,” Liam spoke with calmness, but there was an edge of seriousness to it that made it clear he wasn’t joking.
Lupus forced a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as strained as it felt. An aching smile touched Lupus’s lips. Back when they roomed together at university, pranks were their language—hair dyeing, swapping out shampoo for syrup, rigging water buckets above doors. Those carefree days resembled a distant dream, as he steeled himself to prepare for the end of Liam’s comfort.
“I wish it were—,” Lupus’s voice trailed off as he muttered to himself. He wished he could reduce his growth spurt down to a prank that he’d laugh at after he saw Liam’s response. Except he dreaded the jaguar’s reaction and the potential events that could follow. “No, I have to show you something. Promise me you won’t look until I say.”
Then the jaguar said, “Alright, Lupy. My eyes are closed.”
Lupus took a deep breath and turned the knot. The door clicked open.
After he pulled the door ajar, he whispered, “Come in, Liam.” Lupus heard consistent footsteps, and as instructed, the jaguar came in with his eyes covered. Then, he shut the door behind him.
As Lupus latched the door, he watched Liam make steady progress across the wooden floor. He longed to guide him by the hand, but he knew that doing so would reveal the transformation before he broke it to him.
Back against the door, he breathed in to contain the next growth spurt. Lupus’s drumming heart had reached his ears and was already drowning his logical train of thought. His measured, quiet breaths came as he took in the change.
Hoping to ease the news, Lupus crouched down closer to his former height, but the aged floorboards betrayed him with a creak. Subtlety was not his strong suit, even before he grew.
“Hmm?” Liam’s posture stiffened, and his head turned to meet him. “You good, dude?”
Lupus froze mid-crouch. He let out a breath and lowered his voice. “Yeah,” he managed out. “I’m alright, sweetheart—”
He tried to stop the word from slipping out. It wasn’t the teasing flirtation people tossed around, but Lupus, unarmoured. The jaguar knew this well. To salvage his poker face, he forced out, “I meant… I’m good,” he said again, voice flatter now. “I’m fine.”
But the damage was already done. “Are you sure?” Liam asked firm and direct.
“Yeah,” Lupus replied, and tried to shift his weight behind to avoid agitating the floorboards. “When you’re ready, you can open your eyes.”
Liam turned, uncovered his eyes, and stepped back.
Though silent, his wide-eyed visage spoke a thousand words to Lupus. The big cat’s expression was beyond translation, but the wolf yearned to decode it. Devoid of emotion. Unless he squinted, Liam’s widened eyelids returned to normal, and his maw parted to release a sigh as he sat.
“Liam—?” Lupus breathed and knelt down to keep his eyes on par with the jaguar’s.
Liam released a tiny snicker.
The jaguar’s reaction was not what he expected as he slanted back away to give Liam space to hunch forward. Instinct guided his fingers forth to comfort the jaguar, but his brain retreated his fingers back to rest them on his thigh. He did not understand it. Yet, individuals need not comprehend or rationalise every emotion. It just exists.
Lupus knew the jungle cat well enough to recognise when Liam deflected to humour. Was this it? Was Liam building a wall around his emotions? He looked at Liam’s amused visage.
He tilted himself closer to the jaguar. “Uh, Liam, are you alright?” He whispered prior to quietly enveloping the space, though not the wolf’s mental realm.
Lupus understood that the people he interviewed would use vocal pauses in times like this. Linguistic crutches to buy the person time to draft an answer. Lupus may be conscious of the typical filler words: ‘Well’, ‘so’, or ‘you know’, but it did not stop him falling into the trap.
In fact, the quiet room embraced it.
“I, uh,” His stuttering voice thinned as his left hand clasped his right wrist. “I didn’t know—”
A second snicker escaped from Liam’s mouth to cut him off mid-sentence.
Lupus’s head tilted, while his lips parted to ask what the source was for Liam’s amusement—nothing came.
So, he mirrored the only cue he had. Liam didn’t raise his gaze when the wolf’s mouth shifted into an uncertain smile. The jaguar’s body continued hunched forward, its crown bowed down to meet the floorboards.
Lupus’s confusion mutated into concern; concern manifested into a mumbled, “I’m sorry,” and was about to stand up before Liam’s extended fingers rested on his thigh and halted him.
Liam stayed silent, yet emitted a third, quieter snicker.
Another brief giggle replaced words. Accompanied by the jaguar lifting his head up and showing off that familiar playful gleam in his eyes.
Liam exhaled. “Well, that’s annoying,” he grunted, but kept his grin as he sat upright. “You had to grow, didn’t you? You had to ruin my joke about you being one inch shorter than moi.”
Lupus blinked. He focused on that response above all other considerations within this situation. Despite lingering doubts concerning the thoughts in the jaguar’s gaze, the wolf showed a faint smile.
“Y-Yeah, I guess I did,” he slipped out with a cautious breath, while trying to match the lightness in Liam’s voice.
Liam gave the wolf’s left upper arm a playful nudge with his fist. “Dude, that’s just poor sportsmanship,” he said with exaggerated offence. “We had a solid joke going, and you went and ruined it.”
Lupus’s ears drooped. Though he grew some, individuals would notice it. Enough to ruin his life in London.
For now, fortune favoured him, because only Liam witnessed it. That would change. Douglas, Mister Sinclair, Tyler — they’d see it too. They’d connect the dots, and then his world would come crashing down.
A realisation that compelled him to sit down on the wooden floor, eyes craned up to meet Liam’s. “Right, yeah,” he whispered up to the smirking jaguar. Lupus smiled too, weak as it was, to avoid giving Liam another reason to worry.
“Dude, you’re an actual Ascendant?!” His tone lifted with each word as he struggled to contain his excitement. “How huge are you going to be?!”
Lupus flinched and turned around, anticipating footsteps from authorities marching in—nothing. “Please keep your voice down,” he pleaded, looked back at Liam, and placed both palms on the floor.
The jaguar slanted to put his eyes on par with Lupus’s. “Lupy, this is amazing,” he insisted, slapping a hand on the wolf’s right shoulder as he stood up. “I would love to be in your position; you know that.”
Lupus’s shoulders rolled away from Liam’s touch. A chill ran down his spine, while his claws found purchase in the floorboards. ‘This is no gift.’
Being an Ascendant did not create the life people fantasised on Vastelerian-Vision, but robbed them of everything: his apartment, his friends, any opportunity his work ethic would have promised. Liam deserved better than to be exiled with him. Through gritted teeth, he whispered, “I wouldn’t wish that life for you, sweetheart.”
The jaguar’s smile flattered at the word ‘sweetheart’. He knelt down under the wolf’s gaze and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Lupy, you can do anything you want. Isn’t that your wish?”
Lupus fought to keep his composure—until he heard the scrape of his claws etching against the wooden floor beneath him. “No, I do not!” He barked back at Liam, who retreated into the chair. “Why would anyone want that?”
Liam whispered out, “Lupy…” and watched the wolf look away. “It would be so cool to be a Vastelerian. I have fantasised about it every day.”
The wolf’s head snapped back to him. “Stop.” Lupus interrupted and released his claws from the withered floorboards. “I also dreamt of being a Vastelerian, although it did not end well.”
Liam’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Lupus did not have time to reply before vivid images flooded his mind. Everything from Tyler’s horrified look to outgrowing London until it became a speck of grey next to him.
He tried to listen to the sounds of the city outside, hoping to anchor him back to reality. Except, his mind played a wicked game with the noise by giving his nightmare audio. Every sound from the street twisted into a prophetic audio track of the potential destruction he could cause if he grew, especially if his bad dream was anything to go by.
Car horns morphed into warning sirens. The rumble of construction became the crackling of asphalt under his heels. Ordinary sounds now tinged with the afterimage of his terrifying vision.
That’s when he saw himself growing in the middle of the street. Terraced houses warped and splintered as his expanding frame burst through the brick and mortar. Streetlamps bent like blades of grass, parked cars crumpled under his broad paws as he scrambled to stand, and the crowd of people fled away in terror.
‘That’s not me!’ Lupus’s mind growled to himself, trying to evict the scenes of devastation from his mind. He swallowed and gripped the chair beneath him to ground himself. The weight of all he was keeping inside, the scale of who, no, what, he could turn into if he lost control, made his chest ache.
His idle arms folded and pressed into his chest to force, “It’s nothing,” out.
Liam’s eyes narrowed. “Lupus, come on. You can talk to me.
Lupus’s dread-encased eyes looked up. “Yes,” he said, blunt. “I can speak with you now, but what happens after I become Vastelerian-sized?”
“We’ll figure it out. We always do,” Liam suggested and lowered a palm to stroke across the side of Lupus’s snout. “That’s what we do,” he cooed as his fingers glided down past the wolf’s cheek to rest on his shoulder.
Lupus’s left hand deflected from the ground and held onto Liam’s as he inhaled and… exhaled.
In the gap between each breath, he recollected all the problems they had dealt with at university and stacked them against their outcome. Following that, he counted the arguments. Thankfully, the data sample was small for him. Before he realised Liam’s was semi-true, they always figured it out. Any time they didn’t, the fallout was minor.
Or at least until now. While he admired Liam’s perseverance; no one could fight the Vastelerian genetics from taking hold. “Not this time,” he said.
“Lupy…” Liam’s voice wavered. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Maybe there’s a way to delay it,” he offered and brushed his hand across the wolf’s thigh.
“Mate,” Lupus said as his eyes fixed onto Liam. “Do you even know how Ascendant growth works?” The moment those words left his lips, he realised Liam’s field of study was around Ascendants.
Liam arched his brow and crossed his arms. He went on an impassioned ramble about his Ascendant science degree while challenging the wolf’s remark.
Lupus did not respond. Rather, he shuffled back to stand up. The wood creaked in protest against his shifting frame until he stood upright at his full height—seven foot five.
“So, yes, I know how Ascendant’s size works,” Liam insisted with an indifferent tone. That sound challenged his inner uncertainty. “You need to listen to me.”
The wolf struggled to reply. Liam proved more proficient in navigating this. However, he didn’t want to rely on Liam, nor become someone else’s means to test out their knowledge like an experiment.
“You’re going to grow,” Liam sighed out and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you have any idea how it works?”
Lupus’s gaze dropped to meet the floor. “Yes, I know the consequences if I don’t accept it,” he muttered out in dread. “I need time—”
“You have little time now that your size is noticeable,” Liam cut in. “Tell me something. When you grow, how much do you understand about what happens to your physical form?”
Lupus exhaled out, “Tyler mentioned my brain being flooded with different brain chemicals.”
“Correct,” Liam nodded and explained that neurochemicals would disrupt his neurological balance. Spikes in adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin will produce mood swings. Swings beyond what a Petritan’s system could regulate.
Emotional desynchronisation.
It was the fate of an Ascendant—where the body grows faster than their psyche can adapt, leaving a mental lag that could make stabilising their emotions difficult. His head was the likely outcome where his mind would toss between anger and anxiety.
Anyone would deem this troubling. To Lupus, he saw himself as far more damaged than the normal person, and the idea of emotional desynchronisation terrified him in a way beyond words. His mind carried all the symptoms of an orphan: a deep-rooted fear of becoming a burden, an ache to find somewhere he belonged, and a need to maintain people at arm’s length.
Yes, Liam helped ease those insecurities, but what if growing would disrupt that? It would open a Pandora’s box. What would happen if that fragile balance slipped? If his mind couldn’t keep pace with the changes surging through him? He feared it wouldn’t just unsettle him—it would unravel him. Strip away the little stability he had built, revealing only sorrow, anxiety, and anger in his sapphire eyes. If that happened… would he even recognise himself? Or worse—would Liam or Tyler?
The panther took his hand. It was a slight gesture, but it was seismic to Lupus.
That didn’t stop him from flinching at the contact. Liam looked at him in the bedroom as his mind snapped back.
His breathing slowed. The jaguar’s finger brushed his hands, easing his muscles. Lupus’s mind fixated on the jaguar in front of him, pushing away any concerns about losing emotional control when he grew. Then, he swallowed, and muttered out: “What do you suggest we do?”
Liam kept gripping Lupus’s hand, thumb tracing circles around the backs of his palms. He told the wolf the best course of action was to keep holding it in until they were somewhere calmer, like a national park. An open field, free from noise and stranger, and filled with fresh air that would ease the wolf’s nerves.
The jaguar arose, extending their paw toward Lupus. “How does that sound?”
Lupus stood up to stand beside Liam, but this time was different. The arctic wolf wore the same clothes and had the same nervous ticks. Just one distinction existed between the jaguar he studied and the feline now viewing him.
Liam was looking up at him.
The eyes of the wolf, once accustomed to peeking down to meet the wolf’s gaze, were level with Lupus’s chin. A difference in scale that would only grow as Lupus’s genetics re-sculpted his body into a Vastelerian.
Still, the one constant in Lupus’s ever-changing circumstances was Liam. He remained, despite the size disparity. The wolf glanced down at the jaguar’s waiting hand. An invitation. A reminder that he didn’t have to face whatever changes came next alone.
With a heavy sigh, Lupus reached out and took it. When Lupus looked down at him, Liam was already smiling up at him.
“By the way,” Liam spoke up, “you can help find something else to call you—since you’ve outgrown shorty.”
A small, reluctant smile tugged at the corners of Lupus’s mouth. He held no knowledge regarding the journey ahead. It felt less intimidating with Liam by his side.
Lupus let his smile grow until his cheeks inflated. “Alright,” Lupus mumbled back, “we can do that, shorty.”
Liam scoffed, but the smirk that followed showcased his delight. He stepped backward toward the door, but not before offering Lupus one last glance. “I shall give you some time,” the jaguar said in understanding. “I’ll be in the hallway.”
As the entrance clicked shut behind him, the air stilled. Silence consumed his apartment, and Lupus stood alone in the centre.
He let his eyes drift around the room: off-white painted walls, bookshelves he never filled, and the facedown photo frame and his notepad were the least dusty parts of the house. No photos decorated the room, nor any posters.
This had never been a home. It was a place to sleep, to change clothes, to eat. Why did his stomach tighten as he glanced one last time at his apartment? Why?!
Lupus walked toward his bedside table and crossed his arms. He said nothing aloud as he walked over to collect his notepad.
His gaze rested on the photo frame lying face down. Dust marked its lengthy stay until he picked it up.
It wasn’t a photo inside. Beneath the glass was a single sheet of aged paper. Just black print and the bold heading ‘Deed Poll’. A document to change his name to: Lupus Kintsugi.
The wolf exhaled through his nose, then flipped the frame face down once more, denying it even a parting glance. He picked up his notepad—out of everything he owned; it was the only thing he felt was worth carrying with him into the next chapter.
Lupus ran his thumb along the side of the notepad, feeling the worn grooves of the paper. He’d carried it almost everywhere, including overseas. It had enough sentimental importance to encourage the wolf to sit on the rim of the bed; the mattress sighing beneath his weight, and open it once more.
When it opened, he read through the pages—lists of newspaper column ideas, heartwarming messages written by friends from afar, and his fantasies of what he wished to do if he met a Vastelerian. Little did he know then that he would turn into one himself.
A faint smile touched his lips, though the expression did not reach his closed eyes. He closed the notepad when his eyelids shut and pressed the cover flat with both hands. This chronicle documented everything he experienced, desired, and hoped to become. His overthinking did not expect becoming the Vastelerian he longed to be around.
Standing, he took one last look at his bedroom. It may have been barren, cheap, and rundown, but it was a home he earned. Now it could not hold him anymore once the transformation was complete.
A sigh left his lips as he slipped the notepad under his arm and headed for the door. He trod upon the creaky floor, as if the dwelling decried his departure. He did not turn toward it, though some part of him desired it.
As Lupus neared closure, he gave in, pivoted toward his dwelling, and whispered, “Farewell.”
Lupus stepped out, the wooden door groaning shut behind him. He turned to Liam, standing by the stairwell, with a smile and his hands tucked into his coat pockets.
“Ready?” Liam asked.
Lupus nodded, though he was uncertain. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” he murmured and took measured steps down the corridor.
Just as the wolf neared the top of the stairs, a clatter of keys and the rustle of a plastic bag broke his pace. He froze mid-step with a hand brushing the metal railing and listened to the sounds of hurried footsteps.
Below, bathed in the glow of a single lightbulb hanging over the lower landing, stood a deer in a beige coat. She teetered under the weight of two overflowing grocery bags. Her eyes widened as they found him, and the deer stopped halfway up the staircase. The deer’s glossy lips parted to release a breathy whisper: “You? I know you, but you seem—”
“Sorry, Miss, we’re in a hurry,” Lupus deflected and kept his head down as he headed down the stairs. “We’ve got to beat rush hour traffic—”
“You’re bigger,” she exclaimed. “You’re an—”
Before Lupus reacted, Liam’s hand grasped his shoulder. “Get to the car, Lupy.”
The wolf’s heart thudded as he shifted his weight onto the first step. As Lupus came down, her declaration resonated: “You’re an Ascendant!”
Liam’s grip tightened, urging him forward. “Go! Now!”
With a burst of speed, Lupus bolted down the remaining steps. The stairwell seemed to stretch before him. Her shouts echoed as he descended: “Get out, monster! You…you cannot be here!”
Liam followed close behind. “Move,” he grumbled, manoeuvring around the grocery sacks while going down.
The woman’s voice rose again. “Traitor!” she shouted out the venomous slur, her gaze snapping toward the jaguar. “I’m calling the police!”
Lupus forced himself to ignore the sting of her fear and anger, focusing on descending the staircase.
Outside the edifice, the cool evening air and a faint scent of exhaust fumes met them. Liam led the way to his mustang with his keys clenched in his fist. He popped the trunk and collapsed the rear seats down for the wolf to clamber inside.
Lupus studied the opening. “No,” he said abruptly and stepped back. “I can’t. It’s going to—it will collapse, or—”
Fear ricocheted through him. His anxious eyes darted around for another option, until Liam’s voice caught his attention.
“Lupus!” The jaguar shouted loud enough to stop him mid-step. “Hey, look at me.”
Lupus did as he was instructed.
“Get in my car. You can’t stay here,” Liam said without hesitation. “My baby can handle you.”
“I—”
“Get. In.” Liam ordered.
The mustang wasn’t built for an emerging Ascendant, but it gave him enough space. He turned sideways, crouched, and braced one hand against the roof. The mustang’s suspension groaned as the wolf stretched himself across the folded back seats.
Liam’s sympathetic smile peeked through the open door. “Uh—” The jaguar cleared his throat. “Are you comfortable?”
The wolf made one final adjustment to settle his weight without testing the car’s suspension. He withdrew his paws from the door, curled into a ball with his notepad on his chest, and whispered, “Yes, thank you,” with guilt washing across his features.
“Okay. Okay, good.” He nodded to himself, then shut the door, and moved around to the driver’s side. Liam glanced back through the mirror before starting the engine.
Once both sought refuge inside Liam’s car, the wolf’s neighbour shouted out, “He’s an Ascendant!” from the building window above.
Startled pedestrians on the streets turned their heads towards Liam’s car. Some murmured to one another with disgusted expressions, while others reached for their phones. A rare few made their way to them with balled fists.
“Drive. Drive, now!” Lupus urged as tension coiled in his chest. When the vehicle rolled forward, Lupus’s gaze met the rearview mirror to watch his neighbours disappear from view.
As the capital city lights stretched past, Lupus sank back across the rear seat. A strange mixture of relief and emptiness settled over him. Lupus already understood leaving one’s home of volition. Now he comprehended being forced to vacate.
He grasped the reality: departing London was a one-way trip.
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Chapter 8 - Exposed
For what felt like forever, Lupus gazed at the door. The jaguar struck a second blow, with no hint of vexation.
Lupus walked over with measured footsteps, not wanting to test his added mass on the rigid floorboards, knowing one of them would creak underfoot. Lupus’s slouched posture did nothing to prevent his back from brushing the bedroom doorway on the way out. From that, he guessed his height to be north of seven feet. Then Liam spoke again. “Lupus, is everything okay?! I heard a bang—”.
“Yes—” He could only utter that single word before cutting himself off. He could feel in his chest how his voice had changed, let alone hear it. His speech had deepened; cognitive dissonance preceded his hesitant reply: “Yes, everything’s alright.”
Guilt filled the wolf after he had lied to his closest friend. He adored the jaguar’s presence; he needed its comfort. It was his optimal bet to ease himself as he stared horrified at his larger form. He dreaded how Liam would respond to his body’s transformation.
The wolf’s hands gripped his thighs. Hunched over on the floor, he looked in Liam’s direction and mouthed, “I am so sorry” before closing his eyes. He took a bite of the air and exhaled.
Yet, Liam was unconvinced. He knocked again and asked, “Dude, are you okay? You don’t sound so good.”
That stuttered Lupus. It presented the question to Lupus: would Liam alert the authorities?
Lupus ought to expect a ‘no’ in response. Except this time there were legal implications. If the feline aided him, he would break the Vastelerian Interaction Public Safety Act. The wolf’s hand released their vice grip from his thighs. Even if Liam said nothing, someone would.
“Lupus?” the jaguar stated with growing concern.
“It was my bed,” he replied, again grunting at his own voice. It wasn’t the whole truth, but true enough to prevent him from lying outright to his best friend. Though he was outgrowing his clothes, he refused to outgrow his commitment to honesty. A juxtaposition he wanted to preserve.
“You need to get a new bed,” chuckled Liam.
Lupus let out a laugh. “Yeah,” he agreed, but his snicker faded when he re-listened to his deeper voice. “I do.”
Every instinct urged him to walk towards the door, swing it open, and hold on to Liam. Wrap those fluffy hands around the jaguar and squeeze him into his chest. He would have already done that if he were at his normal height, but now he stood over a foot taller with enhanced muscular density. Aware of his strength, he fought the desire to hug his best friend to avoid overwhelming his physique.
That thought struck him, forcing him to occupy a dining chair, which struggled to support him. He slouched forward and raised both hands to catch his lowered head. Through the crotches of his fingers, he stared at his stretched and torn clothes around his enlarged body.
He felt ashamed. Ashamed of the horrendous complication. After all, Lupus was trying to hide from his best friend. He also worried that the jaguar would assume he had kept this hidden since the day they met at university.
“Alright, if you’re feeling up for it, are you ready to go hiking?” Liam’s voice emanated from beyond the door. “We need to beat the morning traffic, shorty,” he mocked with the same infectious, joy-filled tone.
If Lupus wasn’t trying to keep his size a secret, he would’ve flung that door open, and looked down at the short jaguar. Such behaviour would fit well in America. Not here, not in the UK.
Shame spread through him a weed. He wanted to reply; he craved to answer, ‘Just a second, I’ll be right out,’ or even a witty comment against Liam’s ‘shorty’ remark. He concentrated on figuring out an escape from this, if it proved possible.
The significant question: how much longer could he postpone Liam’s discovery?
“Would that work?” Liam’s vocalisation echoed through the entrance.
Lupus kept quiet. Of course, he wanted to say yes. Every part of him did. Hiking with his companion could do wonders for his well-being. Finding peace in nature’s beauty could help him gain control over his body. To do that, it required one thing.
Liam would have to see him.
Yet, his mouth stayed closed. Hoping that Liam might leave and buy him time to find a solution.
“Lupy, please talk to me,” Liam said to mask his worry.
Lupus found himself in a quandary. He didn’t want to risk revealing his growth spurt; it would cost him everything, but he couldn’t stomach ignoring Liam. Turning down Liam would prompt his demand to enter.
A third knock preceded Liam’s request, “Lupus, can you let me in?”
Lupus wavered over the dilemma enforced upon him. He wrestled with himself over whether to open the door. Confidence built through trusting the jaguar eliminated fear, so he stood and then proceeded toward the apartment entrance.
Four elongated fingers hovered over the handle for a moment before one digit deviated to lift the letterbox.
“Liam,” he whispered to mimic his previous voice, “could you close your eyes, please?”
There was a pause of silence. Then came Liam’s words, pitched somewhere between a teasing, playful tone and genuine confusion. “Huh? What are you up to, my mate?” Liam cooed.
Lupus didn’t answer right away. His hand hovered over the doorknob, while his heart fought to punch its way out of his ribcage. He could hear the smile in Liam’s voice, that usual lightness, even if underneath it there was a sense of concern.
“I’m going to open the door,” Lupus said, forcing each word past the tightening in his throat. “And I want you to walk inside—”
“Blindfolded?” Liam interrupted, trying to lighten the moment again. “Alright, alright. I trust you, but if you’re about to pull a prank on me, I’m shaving your fur coat,” Liam spoke with calmness, but there was an edge of seriousness to it that made it clear he wasn’t joking.
Lupus forced a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as strained as it felt. An aching smile touched Lupus’s lips. Back when they roomed together at university, pranks were their language—hair dyeing, swapping out shampoo for syrup, rigging water buckets above doors. Those carefree days resembled a distant dream, as he steeled himself to prepare for the end of Liam’s comfort.
“I wish it were—,” Lupus’s voice trailed off as he muttered to himself. He wished he could reduce his growth spurt down to a prank that he’d laugh at after he saw Liam’s response. Except he dreaded the jaguar’s reaction and the potential events that could follow. “No, I have to show you something. Promise me you won’t look until I say.”
Then the jaguar said, “Alright, Lupy. My eyes are closed.”
Lupus took a deep breath and turned the knot. The door clicked open.
After he pulled the door ajar, he whispered, “Come in, Liam.” Lupus heard consistent footsteps, and as instructed, the jaguar came in with his eyes covered. Then, he shut the door behind him.
As Lupus latched the door, he watched Liam make steady progress across the wooden floor. He longed to guide him by the hand, but he knew that doing so would reveal the transformation before he broke it to him.
Back against the door, he breathed in to contain the next growth spurt. Lupus’s drumming heart had reached his ears and was already drowning his logical train of thought. His measured, quiet breaths came as he took in the change.
Hoping to ease the news, Lupus crouched down closer to his former height, but the aged floorboards betrayed him with a creak. Subtlety was not his strong suit, even before he grew.
“Hmm?” Liam’s posture stiffened, and his head turned to meet him. “You good, dude?”
Lupus froze mid-crouch. He let out a breath and lowered his voice. “Yeah,” he managed out. “I’m alright, sweetheart—”
He tried to stop the word from slipping out. It wasn’t the teasing flirtation people tossed around, but Lupus, unarmoured. The jaguar knew this well. To salvage his poker face, he forced out, “I meant… I’m good,” he said again, voice flatter now. “I’m fine.”
But the damage was already done. “Are you sure?” Liam asked firm and direct.
“Yeah,” Lupus replied, and tried to shift his weight behind to avoid agitating the floorboards. “When you’re ready, you can open your eyes.”
Liam turned, uncovered his eyes, and stepped back.
Though silent, his wide-eyed visage spoke a thousand words to Lupus. The big cat’s expression was beyond translation, but the wolf yearned to decode it. Devoid of emotion. Unless he squinted, Liam’s widened eyelids returned to normal, and his maw parted to release a sigh as he sat.
“Liam—?” Lupus breathed and knelt down to keep his eyes on par with the jaguar’s.
Liam released a tiny snicker.
The jaguar’s reaction was not what he expected as he slanted back away to give Liam space to hunch forward. Instinct guided his fingers forth to comfort the jaguar, but his brain retreated his fingers back to rest them on his thigh. He did not understand it. Yet, individuals need not comprehend or rationalise every emotion. It just exists.
Lupus knew the jungle cat well enough to recognise when Liam deflected to humour. Was this it? Was Liam building a wall around his emotions? He looked at Liam’s amused visage.
He tilted himself closer to the jaguar. “Uh, Liam, are you alright?” He whispered prior to quietly enveloping the space, though not the wolf’s mental realm.
Lupus understood that the people he interviewed would use vocal pauses in times like this. Linguistic crutches to buy the person time to draft an answer. Lupus may be conscious of the typical filler words: ‘Well’, ‘so’, or ‘you know’, but it did not stop him falling into the trap.
In fact, the quiet room embraced it.
“I, uh,” His stuttering voice thinned as his left hand clasped his right wrist. “I didn’t know—”
A second snicker escaped from Liam’s mouth to cut him off mid-sentence.
Lupus’s head tilted, while his lips parted to ask what the source was for Liam’s amusement—nothing came.
So, he mirrored the only cue he had. Liam didn’t raise his gaze when the wolf’s mouth shifted into an uncertain smile. The jaguar’s body continued hunched forward, its crown bowed down to meet the floorboards.
Lupus’s confusion mutated into concern; concern manifested into a mumbled, “I’m sorry,” and was about to stand up before Liam’s extended fingers rested on his thigh and halted him.
Liam stayed silent, yet emitted a third, quieter snicker.
Another brief giggle replaced words. Accompanied by the jaguar lifting his head up and showing off that familiar playful gleam in his eyes.
Liam exhaled. “Well, that’s annoying,” he grunted, but kept his grin as he sat upright. “You had to grow, didn’t you? You had to ruin my joke about you being one inch shorter than moi.”
Lupus blinked. He focused on that response above all other considerations within this situation. Despite lingering doubts concerning the thoughts in the jaguar’s gaze, the wolf showed a faint smile.
“Y-Yeah, I guess I did,” he slipped out with a cautious breath, while trying to match the lightness in Liam’s voice.
Liam gave the wolf’s left upper arm a playful nudge with his fist. “Dude, that’s just poor sportsmanship,” he said with exaggerated offence. “We had a solid joke going, and you went and ruined it.”
Lupus’s ears drooped. Though he grew some, individuals would notice it. Enough to ruin his life in London.
For now, fortune favoured him, because only Liam witnessed it. That would change. Douglas, Mister Sinclair, Tyler — they’d see it too. They’d connect the dots, and then his world would come crashing down.
A realisation that compelled him to sit down on the wooden floor, eyes craned up to meet Liam’s. “Right, yeah,” he whispered up to the smirking jaguar. Lupus smiled too, weak as it was, to avoid giving Liam another reason to worry.
“Dude, you’re an actual Ascendant?!” His tone lifted with each word as he struggled to contain his excitement. “How huge are you going to be?!”
Lupus flinched and turned around, anticipating footsteps from authorities marching in—nothing. “Please keep your voice down,” he pleaded, looked back at Liam, and placed both palms on the floor.
The jaguar slanted to put his eyes on par with Lupus’s. “Lupy, this is amazing,” he insisted, slapping a hand on the wolf’s right shoulder as he stood up. “I would love to be in your position; you know that.”
Lupus’s shoulders rolled away from Liam’s touch. A chill ran down his spine, while his claws found purchase in the floorboards. ‘This is no gift.’
Being an Ascendant did not create the life people fantasised on Vastelerian-Vision, but robbed them of everything: his apartment, his friends, any opportunity his work ethic would have promised. Liam deserved better than to be exiled with him. Through gritted teeth, he whispered, “I wouldn’t wish that life for you, sweetheart.”
The jaguar’s smile flattered at the word ‘sweetheart’. He knelt down under the wolf’s gaze and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Lupy, you can do anything you want. Isn’t that your wish?”
Lupus fought to keep his composure—until he heard the scrape of his claws etching against the wooden floor beneath him. “No, I do not!” He barked back at Liam, who retreated into the chair. “Why would anyone want that?”
Liam whispered out, “Lupy…” and watched the wolf look away. “It would be so cool to be a Vastelerian. I have fantasised about it every day.”
The wolf’s head snapped back to him. “Stop.” Lupus interrupted and released his claws from the withered floorboards. “I also dreamt of being a Vastelerian, although it did not end well.”
Liam’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Lupus did not have time to reply before vivid images flooded his mind. Everything from Tyler’s horrified look to outgrowing London until it became a speck of grey next to him.
He tried to listen to the sounds of the city outside, hoping to anchor him back to reality. Except, his mind played a wicked game with the noise by giving his nightmare audio. Every sound from the street twisted into a prophetic audio track of the potential destruction he could cause if he grew, especially if his bad dream was anything to go by.
Car horns morphed into warning sirens. The rumble of construction became the crackling of asphalt under his heels. Ordinary sounds now tinged with the afterimage of his terrifying vision.
That’s when he saw himself growing in the middle of the street. Terraced houses warped and splintered as his expanding frame burst through the brick and mortar. Streetlamps bent like blades of grass, parked cars crumpled under his broad paws as he scrambled to stand, and the crowd of people fled away in terror.
‘That’s not me!’ Lupus’s mind growled to himself, trying to evict the scenes of devastation from his mind. He swallowed and gripped the chair beneath him to ground himself. The weight of all he was keeping inside, the scale of who, no, what, he could turn into if he lost control, made his chest ache.
His idle arms folded and pressed into his chest to force, “It’s nothing,” out.
Liam’s eyes narrowed. “Lupus, come on. You can talk to me.
Lupus’s dread-encased eyes looked up. “Yes,” he said, blunt. “I can speak with you now, but what happens after I become Vastelerian-sized?”
“We’ll figure it out. We always do,” Liam suggested and lowered a palm to stroke across the side of Lupus’s snout. “That’s what we do,” he cooed as his fingers glided down past the wolf’s cheek to rest on his shoulder.
Lupus’s left hand deflected from the ground and held onto Liam’s as he inhaled and… exhaled.
In the gap between each breath, he recollected all the problems they had dealt with at university and stacked them against their outcome. Following that, he counted the arguments. Thankfully, the data sample was small for him. Before he realised Liam’s was semi-true, they always figured it out. Any time they didn’t, the fallout was minor.
Or at least until now. While he admired Liam’s perseverance; no one could fight the Vastelerian genetics from taking hold. “Not this time,” he said.
“Lupy…” Liam’s voice wavered. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Maybe there’s a way to delay it,” he offered and brushed his hand across the wolf’s thigh.
“Mate,” Lupus said as his eyes fixed onto Liam. “Do you even know how Ascendant growth works?” The moment those words left his lips, he realised Liam’s field of study was around Ascendants.
Liam arched his brow and crossed his arms. He went on an impassioned ramble about his Ascendant science degree while challenging the wolf’s remark.
Lupus did not respond. Rather, he shuffled back to stand up. The wood creaked in protest against his shifting frame until he stood upright at his full height—seven foot five.
“So, yes, I know how Ascendant’s size works,” Liam insisted with an indifferent tone. That sound challenged his inner uncertainty. “You need to listen to me.”
The wolf struggled to reply. Liam proved more proficient in navigating this. However, he didn’t want to rely on Liam, nor become someone else’s means to test out their knowledge like an experiment.
“You’re going to grow,” Liam sighed out and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you have any idea how it works?”
Lupus’s gaze dropped to meet the floor. “Yes, I know the consequences if I don’t accept it,” he muttered out in dread. “I need time—”
“You have little time now that your size is noticeable,” Liam cut in. “Tell me something. When you grow, how much do you understand about what happens to your physical form?”
Lupus exhaled out, “Tyler mentioned my brain being flooded with different brain chemicals.”
“Correct,” Liam nodded and explained that neurochemicals would disrupt his neurological balance. Spikes in adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin will produce mood swings. Swings beyond what a Petritan’s system could regulate.
Emotional desynchronisation.
It was the fate of an Ascendant—where the body grows faster than their psyche can adapt, leaving a mental lag that could make stabilising their emotions difficult. His head was the likely outcome where his mind would toss between anger and anxiety.
Anyone would deem this troubling. To Lupus, he saw himself as far more damaged than the normal person, and the idea of emotional desynchronisation terrified him in a way beyond words. His mind carried all the symptoms of an orphan: a deep-rooted fear of becoming a burden, an ache to find somewhere he belonged, and a need to maintain people at arm’s length.
Yes, Liam helped ease those insecurities, but what if growing would disrupt that? It would open a Pandora’s box. What would happen if that fragile balance slipped? If his mind couldn’t keep pace with the changes surging through him? He feared it wouldn’t just unsettle him—it would unravel him. Strip away the little stability he had built, revealing only sorrow, anxiety, and anger in his sapphire eyes. If that happened… would he even recognise himself? Or worse—would Liam or Tyler?
The panther took his hand. It was a slight gesture, but it was seismic to Lupus.
That didn’t stop him from flinching at the contact. Liam looked at him in the bedroom as his mind snapped back.
His breathing slowed. The jaguar’s finger brushed his hands, easing his muscles. Lupus’s mind fixated on the jaguar in front of him, pushing away any concerns about losing emotional control when he grew. Then, he swallowed, and muttered out: “What do you suggest we do?”
Liam kept gripping Lupus’s hand, thumb tracing circles around the backs of his palms. He told the wolf the best course of action was to keep holding it in until they were somewhere calmer, like a national park. An open field, free from noise and stranger, and filled with fresh air that would ease the wolf’s nerves.
The jaguar arose, extending their paw toward Lupus. “How does that sound?”
Lupus stood up to stand beside Liam, but this time was different. The arctic wolf wore the same clothes and had the same nervous ticks. Just one distinction existed between the jaguar he studied and the feline now viewing him.
Liam was looking up at him.
The eyes of the wolf, once accustomed to peeking down to meet the wolf’s gaze, were level with Lupus’s chin. A difference in scale that would only grow as Lupus’s genetics re-sculpted his body into a Vastelerian.
Still, the one constant in Lupus’s ever-changing circumstances was Liam. He remained, despite the size disparity. The wolf glanced down at the jaguar’s waiting hand. An invitation. A reminder that he didn’t have to face whatever changes came next alone.
With a heavy sigh, Lupus reached out and took it. When Lupus looked down at him, Liam was already smiling up at him.
“By the way,” Liam spoke up, “you can help find something else to call you—since you’ve outgrown shorty.”
A small, reluctant smile tugged at the corners of Lupus’s mouth. He held no knowledge regarding the journey ahead. It felt less intimidating with Liam by his side.
Lupus let his smile grow until his cheeks inflated. “Alright,” Lupus mumbled back, “we can do that, shorty.”
Liam scoffed, but the smirk that followed showcased his delight. He stepped backward toward the door, but not before offering Lupus one last glance. “I shall give you some time,” the jaguar said in understanding. “I’ll be in the hallway.”
As the entrance clicked shut behind him, the air stilled. Silence consumed his apartment, and Lupus stood alone in the centre.
He let his eyes drift around the room: off-white painted walls, bookshelves he never filled, and the facedown photo frame and his notepad were the least dusty parts of the house. No photos decorated the room, nor any posters.
This had never been a home. It was a place to sleep, to change clothes, to eat. Why did his stomach tighten as he glanced one last time at his apartment? Why?!
Lupus walked toward his bedside table and crossed his arms. He said nothing aloud as he walked over to collect his notepad.
His gaze rested on the photo frame lying face down. Dust marked its lengthy stay until he picked it up.
It wasn’t a photo inside. Beneath the glass was a single sheet of aged paper. Just black print and the bold heading ‘Deed Poll’. A document to change his name to: Lupus Kintsugi.
The wolf exhaled through his nose, then flipped the frame face down once more, denying it even a parting glance. He picked up his notepad—out of everything he owned; it was the only thing he felt was worth carrying with him into the next chapter.
Lupus ran his thumb along the side of the notepad, feeling the worn grooves of the paper. He’d carried it almost everywhere, including overseas. It had enough sentimental importance to encourage the wolf to sit on the rim of the bed; the mattress sighing beneath his weight, and open it once more.
When it opened, he read through the pages—lists of newspaper column ideas, heartwarming messages written by friends from afar, and his fantasies of what he wished to do if he met a Vastelerian. Little did he know then that he would turn into one himself.
A faint smile touched his lips, though the expression did not reach his closed eyes. He closed the notepad when his eyelids shut and pressed the cover flat with both hands. This chronicle documented everything he experienced, desired, and hoped to become. His overthinking did not expect becoming the Vastelerian he longed to be around.
Standing, he took one last look at his bedroom. It may have been barren, cheap, and rundown, but it was a home he earned. Now it could not hold him anymore once the transformation was complete.
A sigh left his lips as he slipped the notepad under his arm and headed for the door. He trod upon the creaky floor, as if the dwelling decried his departure. He did not turn toward it, though some part of him desired it.
As Lupus neared closure, he gave in, pivoted toward his dwelling, and whispered, “Farewell.”
Lupus stepped out, the wooden door groaning shut behind him. He turned to Liam, standing by the stairwell, with a smile and his hands tucked into his coat pockets.
“Ready?” Liam asked.
Lupus nodded, though he was uncertain. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” he murmured and took measured steps down the corridor.
Just as the wolf neared the top of the stairs, a clatter of keys and the rustle of a plastic bag broke his pace. He froze mid-step with a hand brushing the metal railing and listened to the sounds of hurried footsteps.
Below, bathed in the glow of a single lightbulb hanging over the lower landing, stood a deer in a beige coat. She teetered under the weight of two overflowing grocery bags. Her eyes widened as they found him, and the deer stopped halfway up the staircase. The deer’s glossy lips parted to release a breathy whisper: “You? I know you, but you seem—”
“Sorry, Miss, we’re in a hurry,” Lupus deflected and kept his head down as he headed down the stairs. “We’ve got to beat rush hour traffic—”
“You’re bigger,” she exclaimed. “You’re an—”
Before Lupus reacted, Liam’s hand grasped his shoulder. “Get to the car, Lupy.”
The wolf’s heart thudded as he shifted his weight onto the first step. As Lupus came down, her declaration resonated: “You’re an Ascendant!”
Liam’s grip tightened, urging him forward. “Go! Now!”
With a burst of speed, Lupus bolted down the remaining steps. The stairwell seemed to stretch before him. Her shouts echoed as he descended: “Get out, monster! You…you cannot be here!”
Liam followed close behind. “Move,” he grumbled, manoeuvring around the grocery sacks while going down.
The woman’s voice rose again. “Traitor!” she shouted out the venomous slur, her gaze snapping toward the jaguar. “I’m calling the police!”
Lupus forced himself to ignore the sting of her fear and anger, focusing on descending the staircase.
Outside the edifice, the cool evening air and a faint scent of exhaust fumes met them. Liam led the way to his mustang with his keys clenched in his fist. He popped the trunk and collapsed the rear seats down for the wolf to clamber inside.
Lupus studied the opening. “No,” he said abruptly and stepped back. “I can’t. It’s going to—it will collapse, or—”
Fear ricocheted through him. His anxious eyes darted around for another option, until Liam’s voice caught his attention.
“Lupus!” The jaguar shouted loud enough to stop him mid-step. “Hey, look at me.”
Lupus did as he was instructed.
“Get in my car. You can’t stay here,” Liam said without hesitation. “My baby can handle you.”
“I—”
“Get. In.” Liam ordered.
The mustang wasn’t built for an emerging Ascendant, but it gave him enough space. He turned sideways, crouched, and braced one hand against the roof. The mustang’s suspension groaned as the wolf stretched himself across the folded back seats.
Liam’s sympathetic smile peeked through the open door. “Uh—” The jaguar cleared his throat. “Are you comfortable?”
The wolf made one final adjustment to settle his weight without testing the car’s suspension. He withdrew his paws from the door, curled into a ball with his notepad on his chest, and whispered, “Yes, thank you,” with guilt washing across his features.
“Okay. Okay, good.” He nodded to himself, then shut the door, and moved around to the driver’s side. Liam glanced back through the mirror before starting the engine.
Once both sought refuge inside Liam’s car, the wolf’s neighbour shouted out, “He’s an Ascendant!” from the building window above.
Startled pedestrians on the streets turned their heads towards Liam’s car. Some murmured to one another with disgusted expressions, while others reached for their phones. A rare few made their way to them with balled fists.
“Drive. Drive, now!” Lupus urged as tension coiled in his chest. When the vehicle rolled forward, Lupus’s gaze met the rearview mirror to watch his neighbours disappear from view.
As the capital city lights stretched past, Lupus sank back across the rear seat. A strange mixture of relief and emptiness settled over him. Lupus already understood leaving one’s home of volition. Now he comprehended being forced to vacate.
He grasped the reality: departing London was a one-way trip.
Category Story / Macro / Micro
Species Wolf
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 1.48 MB
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