Nicely done, encompasses the concept of demon well ^^

Thanks!

Question for you, then... Do you think it stands well on it's own, or would you want to see where this leads? It was originally a stand-alone piece, then I realized there was much more to tell. I've got 7 short chapters (all around that size) written, which is about half way through the story.

Thanks for the input!

Aeto

It does stand well on it's one although I would like to see where it leads. Hell if you've already got 7 more short chapters written, I'd say go for it. I'd be happy to help in any way if you need it, feel free to shoot me a message or something of that sort

I always like critique, on anything from pacing to language usage to plot development issues. The more I get, the better I'll grow.

In fact, there is a huge continuity error in the above text I caught today, but haven't corrected yet. I know there are more, going from this text (which was intended to stand on it's own) to the others, but not as gaping as the one here. Not sure if anyone will catch it, but it's there. :>

Thanks!

Hey we all make mistakes and we can improve upon them. Excellent work demon x3

Whoa... that's one mean demon right there! Wouldn't want to be nearby when he's really angry.. or maybe I would, hmmmmm...

If there's six more chapters like this, I'm definitely interested.

Well, I'm not sure they are "like this..." They're really much more about the search for *why* someone would call him forth to destroy the city, and he's not always (or even usually) 100 ft tall when he's summoned.

But don't worry... He IS a demon after all, and I'm pretty sure not a chapter goes by where he doesn't kill someone.

While I don't have the remaining chapters (after the ones written) planned out, I do know where the story is going, what he does, and how it ends. It's going to be a busy few weeks for me, but I'm really hoping to find time to finish the writing soon. I may post one chapter a week, though, to try and force myself to get it done.

Of course, I say that, then post Chapter 2, where nobody dies. :>

I normally love apocalyptic stories like this....

But now I'm just sad... ;__;

Awww. I guess the life of a demon is a sad one. I admit, I like the strange mix of kindness and heartless, brutal slaughter in this character.

The genesis of the story was a piece of art being done of him, which has a bit of a sad expression, so that's not entirely a surprise. I ended up with an entire story around this, though, which is around half-written with 7 short chapters. Going to try and finish it next weekend, and post one chapter a week.

I'm just sad at the fact that he knew her, knew what he was doing, and yet still did it. Heartless but kind is... It's hard to love.

I don't know how she could forgive him. I know it's his nature and all, but... This was done in such cold blood that I could never forgive him. (no matter how deathly attractive he is)

There's some background which I think will become apparent in later chapters, but I can explain a bit.

First off, Gil simply lacks free will, in some very fundamental ways. When he's summoned, he does certain things in dealing with the summoner which he is simply "built to do." He doesn't really question it, as he lacks the freedom to even realize he might not do these things. Once he's made an oath, the oath is part of his very being. To even consider breaking it is an entirely alien thought to him.

The second thing is that this is a world where people summon demons. While few may do it, that it is done is commonly known, and the nature of the demons is rather well understood. She would know that he really has that lack of free will in many regards.

Yeah, there's a leap of faith there, I admit, and perhaps one too large. I guess it's that, at the core, she knows he's a supernatural being, and is fundamentally NOT human, not just physically.

Well, that makes sense... And an oath to a demon is everything, I know that. Deals with demons are deadly in every way shape and form, unless you're incredibly talented.

Yes, but despite what she knows, it's something I couldn't forgive him for. He went ABOVE AND BEYOND what the summoners told him to do. If I saw him kill that many countless innocents before my eyes... I'd be horrified.
I don't think that I like her judgement is all I'm really saying here. Sometimes, you choose the wrong people to love. You have to carry the burden of all that cold blooded murder, and there's nothing you can do now that they're dead.

Leap of faith or not, I understand it. This is very well written, and I kinda like Gil, I'll admit, but I don't like what he does, and I don't like what he did. If I could stay with him, I don't think I could ever forgive him.

*nod* I'll keep that in mind when/if I go through and re-edit these. It's certainly a valid point.

Also, he's a bit different in the next chapter, and I promise you, that was written around a week ago. :>

if I ever rewrote this, I'd do it from her perspective... and show the emotional turmoil.

That was a really good story. I loved the concept and delivery of it. Having a being that can go from caring and affectionate to truly cruel and evil, but still really just not thinking it's that big of a deal as its his job.

Cool way of growing him too. Would have never thought about larger circle = larger demon ^_^;

I later realized, "if larger circle = larger demon, then smaller circle... Hmmm..."

In other words, as will be exposed in later chapters, it's not QUITE that easy. :>

Thanks, though. It had been a while since I was able to sit down and write anything, so I'm glad a story finally came to mind.

amazing and wonderful story.

Awesome! It made me laugh, and then it made me sad. Few stories have done that!