I understand this feeling all too well and I hear you on that. Sometimes, it feels like 'what's the point anymore?' with our struggles as things keep on overwhelming us. But know this, you are doing far more than what your 17 year old self ever dreamed possible and the fact you are still alive and fighting in spite of all this is a testament to your strength and resolve, not matter how hard it gets. While I do deeply wish things will get better I understand that it's a tall order, but I wish you a happy birthday today and the gift of strength to pull through on this. You are right, a community that supports and comforts goes a long way into making existence bearable, and you have one here.

thanks so much! im glad there are still good people in the world ♡