FRI AUG 29 2025

in my old job, pretty much everyone got along with everyone else. It was a strange team dynamic i had never encountered before! Of course there was some slight division in the team, as is bound to happen inevitably, but there was no real drama between any of us. If anything, the drama came from our employer. And boy there was plenty.

One specific coworker, whom i assigned a doberman fursona, is someone who's naturally lean and also does fitness basically every day, takes care of his body a lot. He also used to be pretty well known for slacking off the most among us. Of course, there was also a lot of competition between everyone in the team.
He is by no means incompetent, but it was noticeable the way he wouldn't really care much to really "stand out" as an employee.

I both admired him deeply for this. But also i hated him for it.

I admire his behavior because, honestly, in the end: no job is worth the deterioration of your body. Ever.
Of course we HAVE to work, but i'm sure most people would rather spend their days doing whatever they want.
The fact that he keeps himself so fit and prioritizes his own well being over his job, honestly; it's something i would very much like to do myself. Not that i'm completely devoid of exercise, but i'm just not that much of an exercise nut to keep up that degree of dicipline.

I also hated him for it because there WERE very real effects to his behavior during work shifts. Definitely he would freely pile work onto others, including me, without batting an eye. If you really needed help with something or important stuff needed to get done, he would help out no questions asked. But it wasn't his first option to raise a hand and offer up his help whenever someone openly asked for it.

Honestly we used to have quite lengthy conversatiosn during lunch breaks, and i've never really told him how i felt about him back when we worked together. I also did feel some superficial attraction from his physique, but nothing beyond thoughts. We kept it strictly professional up to the very end, if some degree of friendship.

So essentially, i had a rivalry with this coworkers, by myself, for no real reson other than my own jealousy and insecurities. It didn't really affect me, or anyone in my team in any way, but the feelings were strong enough that day to draw it in my daily journal as a notable event.

Funnily enough, i did admit to all of this one day at a bar while drinking with some of my ex-coworkers. Told them about my rivalry of one. We just pretty much laughed about it and they poked fun at me as well too. I also asked them to keep it to themselves! haha though i also wouldn't care much if any one of them told doberman coworker about it all

i would just be a little embarassed and ashamed about it. But it's all water under the bridge.