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More from Pooka
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Disclaimer! While the information presented in this story is founded in hastily done research into the real world study of zoology, the author is not a zoologist and is also taking his own creative liberties as to make the story make sense in his own fictitious setting.
—
Button Presses.
*Muttering* “Uhh… today is…”
Pause.
“Pook-”
Flapping.
“Woaaahh… settle down, lad…”
Knock knock knock.
“Come in!”
Handle turn. Creak.
P: “Hiya. OH!”
D: “Yep. Do be careful, you don’t wanna scare the boy.”
P: “This is?”
D: “Ben. He is a wild Rock Eagle Owl.”
Ben: “Hoo!”
P: *Hushed* “Woah!”
D: “I just taught this same lesson earlier today, so we’ve kept him around for you too, but he works as a great reference point when using myself as an example, and we have other species to compare if we choose to and sometimes we’ll do events on this in specific species where we’ll take a trip to sanctuaries and let students compare themselves depending on how protective we need to be of their wild counterparts”
P: “And I take it he’s leashed by the foot because he’ll fly away?”
D: “Well, we’re more concerned about him eating pencils…”
P: “Ah!”
D: “Yeah, if he flies away he’ll come back. But also if we sense he wants to fly away, we’ll get him out of here. He’s already getting a bit antsy.”
P: “Right.”
D: “But what have I said twice now?”
Pause.
B: “Hoo!”
Feathers ruffling.
P: “Oh yeah, no hands.”
D: “Exactly! If it didn’t upset wild birds, we’d have a feel around for the phalanges, but wild owls don’t like that.”
P: “Wild owls specifically?”
D: “I see the lesson is already starting…”
Footsteps.
D: “So… um. Yes, to answer your question. It feels differently for me if you touch my wings than it feels for the wild Rock Eagle Owl if you touch his. I believe this is a psychological feature; I don’t think the sensation is any different necessarily, but it carries a different implication to me than it does to him.”
P: “And for him that is?”
D: “Errogenous, but feels dominating, which as a male he doesn’t appreciate.”
P: “And for you?”
Pause.
D: “Let’s, uhhh… not.”
P: “Okay.”
D: “But today's lesson is all about anthropomorphism. Why I look like this and not that. And why you look like you, but not a quadruped, wild, canis familiaris.”
P: “Right. More complicated than it seems?”
D: “Um… precisely. Yes.”
P: “Yeah. More than you know. Maybe?”
D: “Well I’d suggest I know more than you…”
P: “Really?”
Chair groan.
D: “I-... What do you mean by that?”
Pause.
D: “I will teach you. We’ll see exactly how much you know.”
P: “Okay.”
D: “So, as was touched on in lesson one, humans are a model example; humans don’t have a wild form - humans are just humans, homo sapiens, and there are no wild homo sapiens. The sapience trait associated with all anthropomorphic beings is a primary feature of humans. And so when we tack ‘sapiens’ onto the genus of other animals, what we’re really suggesting is, as we covered briefly, that all animals can become human-like, and our handling of that is a little sloppy. We, you and I, Pooka, kind of have settled on anthropomorphic together, where oftentimes students will settle with sapiens.”
P: “I’m different.”
Pencil drops.
D: “Not a bad thing.”
Tapping. Flapping.
P: “Didn’t say it was.”
Footsteps. Scrape.
D: “Well, however you think of it… whyever you think of it.. Doesn’t matter.”
B: “Hoooooo!”
D: “You can call it what you want in study at the moment because we’re in the unique spot of history where we haven’t.”
B: “Hooo!”
D: “Finished developing the language for this.”
Tap tap.
B: “Hooo!”
D: “Think we’d better let you out…”
[taptaphoo!comeonyouladclipfootstepshoofootstepsdoorcreakdoorshutspause… taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptappause…sigh…doorcreaking]
Footsteps. Closing door.
D: “Where were we? Anthropomorphic. We can call it anything really if you have better ideas, but we’ve settled on anthropomorphic and it might be easier to uphold the established convention we’ve formed between the two of us, and when it comes to proper tests of knowledge, you can use any term as long as you can clearly set up that definition as meaning what we’re talking about.”
P: “Okay. I like anthropomorphic.”
D: “Me too, if I’m honest. My professional papers I’ve done used anthropomorphic, so this feels a breath of fresh air”
P: “It’s the term I always knew.”
D: “And good on! So, the key traits anatomically speaking of anthropomorphic beings are standing on two legs and the level of intelligence derived from a unique portion of the brain. In addition; prehensile fingers and opposable thumbs, a well developed system in the mouth and throat used to develop speech, male reproductive anatomy that includes some form of large, relatively, appendage to insert into the mate's anatomy during copulation.”
P: “I have an intrusive question.”
D: “Uhhh… go on and we’ll see…”
P: “Wild birds don’t have coc- penises.”
D: “Correct…”
P: “And so anthro birds…”
D: “Have penises because that’s just a part of anthropomorphism.”
P: “Why?”
D: “We don’t know. It kind of implies that the 97% birds reverse their history to get their penises back, but arriving there is… well, not easy to figure out. And you’ll feel this quite a bit as we go forward”
P: “It doesn’t sound awfully…”
D: “Awfully what?”
P: “Natural?”
D: “Really?”
P: “Birds reversed their evolution? Just so they could get anthro penises?”
D: “Well I don’t actually think that’s what happened, I think it’s all a forward evolution and the genitalia just kind of externalised to keep up with what the females had going on.”
P: “I have a completely unrelated question.”
D: *Sigh* “Go on..?”
P: “I’m homosexual. What’s that about?”
D: “Oh boy, the zoological holes you’ve just bandaid-ripped…”
P: “We don’t have an answer?”
D: “Not a precise one; we have theories. It’s not anthropomorphic though, if you’re trying to form a theory there - homosexuality is observed in practically every animal even those that are wild. It’s very psychological though, which is a bit beyond my expertise anyway, I’m a lot more physiologically focussed.”
P: “I see.”
D: “Erring away from the risk of falling down a tangent on dubious evolutionary-psychology, something else we have in common with humans is life span and heights. Across the field, as we developed anthropomorphism, we also grew a lot in height, matching the human average, and our lifespans also match the average in humans too. In other words, there is something about this scale that we all just kind of exist on that is beneficial and helps us survive in our lifespans.”
P: “What are typical lifespans in wild equivalents?”
D: “That varies, largely on metabolic rate - slower average metabolism is a longer lifespan. There’s a lot of factors though. Some people say jellyfish are immortal in the sense that they don’t die of old age, they die because something kills them.”
P: “Why is that natural?”
D: *Deep breath. Sigh. Muttering* “Bringing this up again…” *Talking* “uhh… they age slower than they regenerate; their aging rate decreases as they age, and their regeneration rates occur faster than parts age and are lost, and therefore they could theoretically just keep up their slow aging and hasty regeneration forever and ever presuming nothing gets to them.”
P: “So it’s not, like, a skill”.
D: “No.”
P: “How about dragons? I’m already aware dragons have greater lifespans than the rest of us.”
D: “That once again goes back to the history with divines. Divines are also some form of immortal, and when that mixes with Naturals it just kind of gives them an extension to their lifespans.”
P: “Why is divinity not supernatural?”
D: “Pooka.”
P: “What?”
Pause.
D: “You are… striking chords… which I struggle to cope with…”
Pause.
D: “Divinity is above life. I think I said this a previous time we discussed dragons. Supernaturals… I would love to have an answer for all of your questions about them, but it’s just not something we cover.”
P: “But why though? Are they not animals?”
D: “Well… man, I don’t know.”
P: “I’m sure it’s under life's domain.”
D: “I… maybe…”
P: “Well, now hang on, I think w- I-... they are alive”
D: “Well no, I didn’’t mean-”
P: “And I get the impression you and everyone else knows about it.”
D: *Sniffle. Quietly* “Well that would be tru-”
P: “Right, but you don’t study it because, what? It’s scary? Is that not of interest?”
D: “Well it…” *Pant. Pant.* “ah-... ahh…”
P: “Well I can tell it is. I can tell it’s held back. I can tell there's at least something in the-”
D: “STOP.”
P: “-re… you…”
D: “STOP IT!”
Pause.
D: *Sniffle* “Ugh…” *Sob* “You don’t know how hard it is… having these curiosities but not being allowed them… I try… I really do try. But the taboo of it all is just… *Sob. Crying* they shut it down… every single time… without a hint of consideration...”
P: “I… I’m sorry…”
D: “Well it’s not your fault!” *Sniffle* “You’re the first person I’ve met who lands on the same questions I have, but according to my higher ups, ‘that’s not allowed!’ ‘Can’t study that!’ ‘They’re dangerous’... but I really don't think they are…”
P: “I… I, uh… well… do you… know, they aren’t?”
D: “I don’t know shit! All I’ve ever wanted is to extend the zoological field to study supernatural species, but the vitriol held towards them overall by natural society means I can’t even come close to finding out that they’re not dangerous."
P: “Your intuition is probably correct”
D: “You can’t prove that!”
P: “I think… maybe we can.”
D: “Oh, but you’re always talking like that! What on earth does that mean!?”
Pause.
D: “Well?”
P: “Uh…”
Pause.
D: “Well, come on then!”
Pause.
P: “I… know… some things…”
D: “You know what?”
P: “...the… supernatural? kind of..?”
Chair creak.
D: “Kind of how, Pooka? What do you know about the supernatural?”
Pause.
P: “Listen… I see the importance of it to you…”
D: “Oh, here we go. You see the importance. ‘But maybe it’s a better idea to classify what we can realistically mix with-...”
P: “Well, hang on, Dion, because that’s actually not where this was going…”
D: “Okay, I’m listening…”
P: “I do genuinely have knowledge. And I can genuinely tell you about it.”
D: “So why not?”
Pause.
D: “I trust you Pooka I really do!”
Pause.
P: “But I…”
DD: “But what?”
Pause.
P: “I just can’t… explain it… yet… sometime I will… but not now… not… here…”
D: “What do I have to do?”
P: “Well… Okay…”
D: “Okay what?”
P: “Shush!”
D: “I’ll shush…”
Long pause.
D: “What is it?”
P: “SHHHHHH!”
Pause.
P: “I’m thinking.”
Pause.
P: “We can organise… another session… one where I do the teaching. A second session per week where I teach you what I know. Maybe not here.”
D: *Mic Peaking* “Yo- can -ome t- my -ous-!”
P: “Shhhhh… What?”
D: *Hushed* “I live alone. My house is away from everything here. And society as a whole. I have resources. I have a cozy living room. It’s perfect.”
Pause.
P: “Is it a treehouse?”
D: “Of course it is, I’m a bird from Tillywood, most of us are in treehouses.”
P: “I can’t climb trees.”
D: “And we’re not beyond the invention of the ladder.”
P: “Oh.” *Chuckle* “Right.”
D: “You can visit me on the weekends.”
P: “This weekend?”
D: “I’ve got nothing going on.”
P: “This weekend it is… Just promise me what’s said in that house stays there.”
D: “It will.”
P: “If the uninitiated find out about this I will be so far shunned to the underground I may never return.”
D: “I know…”
Pause.
“The mics are still running.”
“Well… I still learned from this though…”
“Well you keep it then, I’m not making my breakdown a keepsake for mysel-”
Button press.
—
Button Presses.
*Muttering* “Uhh… today is…”
Pause.
“Pook-”
Flapping.
“Woaaahh… settle down, lad…”
Knock knock knock.
“Come in!”
Handle turn. Creak.
P: “Hiya. OH!”
D: “Yep. Do be careful, you don’t wanna scare the boy.”
P: “This is?”
D: “Ben. He is a wild Rock Eagle Owl.”
Ben: “Hoo!”
P: *Hushed* “Woah!”
D: “I just taught this same lesson earlier today, so we’ve kept him around for you too, but he works as a great reference point when using myself as an example, and we have other species to compare if we choose to and sometimes we’ll do events on this in specific species where we’ll take a trip to sanctuaries and let students compare themselves depending on how protective we need to be of their wild counterparts”
P: “And I take it he’s leashed by the foot because he’ll fly away?”
D: “Well, we’re more concerned about him eating pencils…”
P: “Ah!”
D: “Yeah, if he flies away he’ll come back. But also if we sense he wants to fly away, we’ll get him out of here. He’s already getting a bit antsy.”
P: “Right.”
D: “But what have I said twice now?”
Pause.
B: “Hoo!”
Feathers ruffling.
P: “Oh yeah, no hands.”
D: “Exactly! If it didn’t upset wild birds, we’d have a feel around for the phalanges, but wild owls don’t like that.”
P: “Wild owls specifically?”
D: “I see the lesson is already starting…”
Footsteps.
D: “So… um. Yes, to answer your question. It feels differently for me if you touch my wings than it feels for the wild Rock Eagle Owl if you touch his. I believe this is a psychological feature; I don’t think the sensation is any different necessarily, but it carries a different implication to me than it does to him.”
P: “And for him that is?”
D: “Errogenous, but feels dominating, which as a male he doesn’t appreciate.”
P: “And for you?”
Pause.
D: “Let’s, uhhh… not.”
P: “Okay.”
D: “But today's lesson is all about anthropomorphism. Why I look like this and not that. And why you look like you, but not a quadruped, wild, canis familiaris.”
P: “Right. More complicated than it seems?”
D: “Um… precisely. Yes.”
P: “Yeah. More than you know. Maybe?”
D: “Well I’d suggest I know more than you…”
P: “Really?”
Chair groan.
D: “I-... What do you mean by that?”
Pause.
D: “I will teach you. We’ll see exactly how much you know.”
P: “Okay.”
D: “So, as was touched on in lesson one, humans are a model example; humans don’t have a wild form - humans are just humans, homo sapiens, and there are no wild homo sapiens. The sapience trait associated with all anthropomorphic beings is a primary feature of humans. And so when we tack ‘sapiens’ onto the genus of other animals, what we’re really suggesting is, as we covered briefly, that all animals can become human-like, and our handling of that is a little sloppy. We, you and I, Pooka, kind of have settled on anthropomorphic together, where oftentimes students will settle with sapiens.”
P: “I’m different.”
Pencil drops.
D: “Not a bad thing.”
Tapping. Flapping.
P: “Didn’t say it was.”
Footsteps. Scrape.
D: “Well, however you think of it… whyever you think of it.. Doesn’t matter.”
B: “Hoooooo!”
D: “You can call it what you want in study at the moment because we’re in the unique spot of history where we haven’t.”
B: “Hooo!”
D: “Finished developing the language for this.”
Tap tap.
B: “Hooo!”
D: “Think we’d better let you out…”
[taptaphoo!comeonyouladclipfootstepshoofootstepsdoorcreakdoorshutspause… taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptappause…sigh…doorcreaking]
Footsteps. Closing door.
D: “Where were we? Anthropomorphic. We can call it anything really if you have better ideas, but we’ve settled on anthropomorphic and it might be easier to uphold the established convention we’ve formed between the two of us, and when it comes to proper tests of knowledge, you can use any term as long as you can clearly set up that definition as meaning what we’re talking about.”
P: “Okay. I like anthropomorphic.”
D: “Me too, if I’m honest. My professional papers I’ve done used anthropomorphic, so this feels a breath of fresh air”
P: “It’s the term I always knew.”
D: “And good on! So, the key traits anatomically speaking of anthropomorphic beings are standing on two legs and the level of intelligence derived from a unique portion of the brain. In addition; prehensile fingers and opposable thumbs, a well developed system in the mouth and throat used to develop speech, male reproductive anatomy that includes some form of large, relatively, appendage to insert into the mate's anatomy during copulation.”
P: “I have an intrusive question.”
D: “Uhhh… go on and we’ll see…”
P: “Wild birds don’t have coc- penises.”
D: “Correct…”
P: “And so anthro birds…”
D: “Have penises because that’s just a part of anthropomorphism.”
P: “Why?”
D: “We don’t know. It kind of implies that the 97% birds reverse their history to get their penises back, but arriving there is… well, not easy to figure out. And you’ll feel this quite a bit as we go forward”
P: “It doesn’t sound awfully…”
D: “Awfully what?”
P: “Natural?”
D: “Really?”
P: “Birds reversed their evolution? Just so they could get anthro penises?”
D: “Well I don’t actually think that’s what happened, I think it’s all a forward evolution and the genitalia just kind of externalised to keep up with what the females had going on.”
P: “I have a completely unrelated question.”
D: *Sigh* “Go on..?”
P: “I’m homosexual. What’s that about?”
D: “Oh boy, the zoological holes you’ve just bandaid-ripped…”
P: “We don’t have an answer?”
D: “Not a precise one; we have theories. It’s not anthropomorphic though, if you’re trying to form a theory there - homosexuality is observed in practically every animal even those that are wild. It’s very psychological though, which is a bit beyond my expertise anyway, I’m a lot more physiologically focussed.”
P: “I see.”
D: “Erring away from the risk of falling down a tangent on dubious evolutionary-psychology, something else we have in common with humans is life span and heights. Across the field, as we developed anthropomorphism, we also grew a lot in height, matching the human average, and our lifespans also match the average in humans too. In other words, there is something about this scale that we all just kind of exist on that is beneficial and helps us survive in our lifespans.”
P: “What are typical lifespans in wild equivalents?”
D: “That varies, largely on metabolic rate - slower average metabolism is a longer lifespan. There’s a lot of factors though. Some people say jellyfish are immortal in the sense that they don’t die of old age, they die because something kills them.”
P: “Why is that natural?”
D: *Deep breath. Sigh. Muttering* “Bringing this up again…” *Talking* “uhh… they age slower than they regenerate; their aging rate decreases as they age, and their regeneration rates occur faster than parts age and are lost, and therefore they could theoretically just keep up their slow aging and hasty regeneration forever and ever presuming nothing gets to them.”
P: “So it’s not, like, a skill”.
D: “No.”
P: “How about dragons? I’m already aware dragons have greater lifespans than the rest of us.”
D: “That once again goes back to the history with divines. Divines are also some form of immortal, and when that mixes with Naturals it just kind of gives them an extension to their lifespans.”
P: “Why is divinity not supernatural?”
D: “Pooka.”
P: “What?”
Pause.
D: “You are… striking chords… which I struggle to cope with…”
Pause.
D: “Divinity is above life. I think I said this a previous time we discussed dragons. Supernaturals… I would love to have an answer for all of your questions about them, but it’s just not something we cover.”
P: “But why though? Are they not animals?”
D: “Well… man, I don’t know.”
P: “I’m sure it’s under life's domain.”
D: “I… maybe…”
P: “Well, now hang on, I think w- I-... they are alive”
D: “Well no, I didn’’t mean-”
P: “And I get the impression you and everyone else knows about it.”
D: *Sniffle. Quietly* “Well that would be tru-”
P: “Right, but you don’t study it because, what? It’s scary? Is that not of interest?”
D: “Well it…” *Pant. Pant.* “ah-... ahh…”
P: “Well I can tell it is. I can tell it’s held back. I can tell there's at least something in the-”
D: “STOP.”
P: “-re… you…”
D: “STOP IT!”
Pause.
D: *Sniffle* “Ugh…” *Sob* “You don’t know how hard it is… having these curiosities but not being allowed them… I try… I really do try. But the taboo of it all is just… *Sob. Crying* they shut it down… every single time… without a hint of consideration...”
P: “I… I’m sorry…”
D: “Well it’s not your fault!” *Sniffle* “You’re the first person I’ve met who lands on the same questions I have, but according to my higher ups, ‘that’s not allowed!’ ‘Can’t study that!’ ‘They’re dangerous’... but I really don't think they are…”
P: “I… I, uh… well… do you… know, they aren’t?”
D: “I don’t know shit! All I’ve ever wanted is to extend the zoological field to study supernatural species, but the vitriol held towards them overall by natural society means I can’t even come close to finding out that they’re not dangerous."
P: “Your intuition is probably correct”
D: “You can’t prove that!”
P: “I think… maybe we can.”
D: “Oh, but you’re always talking like that! What on earth does that mean!?”
Pause.
D: “Well?”
P: “Uh…”
Pause.
D: “Well, come on then!”
Pause.
P: “I… know… some things…”
D: “You know what?”
P: “...the… supernatural? kind of..?”
Chair creak.
D: “Kind of how, Pooka? What do you know about the supernatural?”
Pause.
P: “Listen… I see the importance of it to you…”
D: “Oh, here we go. You see the importance. ‘But maybe it’s a better idea to classify what we can realistically mix with-...”
P: “Well, hang on, Dion, because that’s actually not where this was going…”
D: “Okay, I’m listening…”
P: “I do genuinely have knowledge. And I can genuinely tell you about it.”
D: “So why not?”
Pause.
D: “I trust you Pooka I really do!”
Pause.
P: “But I…”
DD: “But what?”
Pause.
P: “I just can’t… explain it… yet… sometime I will… but not now… not… here…”
D: “What do I have to do?”
P: “Well… Okay…”
D: “Okay what?”
P: “Shush!”
D: “I’ll shush…”
Long pause.
D: “What is it?”
P: “SHHHHHH!”
Pause.
P: “I’m thinking.”
Pause.
P: “We can organise… another session… one where I do the teaching. A second session per week where I teach you what I know. Maybe not here.”
D: *Mic Peaking* “Yo- can -ome t- my -ous-!”
P: “Shhhhh… What?”
D: *Hushed* “I live alone. My house is away from everything here. And society as a whole. I have resources. I have a cozy living room. It’s perfect.”
Pause.
P: “Is it a treehouse?”
D: “Of course it is, I’m a bird from Tillywood, most of us are in treehouses.”
P: “I can’t climb trees.”
D: “And we’re not beyond the invention of the ladder.”
P: “Oh.” *Chuckle* “Right.”
D: “You can visit me on the weekends.”
P: “This weekend?”
D: “I’ve got nothing going on.”
P: “This weekend it is… Just promise me what’s said in that house stays there.”
D: “It will.”
P: “If the uninitiated find out about this I will be so far shunned to the underground I may never return.”
D: “I know…”
Pause.
“The mics are still running.”
“Well… I still learned from this though…”
“Well you keep it then, I’m not making my breakdown a keepsake for mysel-”
Button press.
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 163.3 kB
Comments