I'm not making this post to evoke pity, but rather to seek support and understanding among like-minded people. I'm asexual, but I can draw NSFW art, look at pictures, and participate in role-playing, but the topic of intimacy in real life makes me sick. I searched for the reasons for a long time, considering myself wrong, and I found them. My aversion to intimacy is the cause of incestuous abuse from my older brother. Now I don't feel resentment or hatred. I want to love a person without sex, sincerely, soulfully, but so far there are no people in my life who would accept this, so I may have to remain alone to maintain comfort.Thank you all for your attention!