Have you ever had a secret identity?

Have you ever lived a double life?

Have you ever held onto a secret so earth-shattering the world would beat a path to your doorstep (and the authorities would beat down your door) if it ever got out?

It's hard work, and eventually it wears you down. Even worse, there are some people who won't believe your alibis no matter how airtight they are.

("Friendly neighborhood repair wombat" my arse! Even in Australia they aren't very friendly. More likely he's leading a life of crime. Him and that ferret, down in their burrow just counting their money and laughing.")

There are, broadly speaking, two ways to overcome this problem.

The first is to become the mask. Start believing on some level that you are the wombat you're pretending to be. However, there is no universe in which Emmet wants to start actually caring about these people and their problems! No, they're a means to an end only and this is the decision he came to at the beginning.

The other is to wear a second mask. Don't pretend to be someone you're not; pretend to be someone pretending to be someone they're not. That way if someone discovers your "secret"... well, good for them. They can feel proud of themselves for figuring it out and you can keep counting your money and laughing.

So who is Emmet's secret identity's secret identity?

The answer: a "well heeled gentleman" (read: trust fund baby) who's being driven mad by boredom. His youth is behind him and middle age is slipping away. His parents have passed on, he's not on speaking terms with his cousins and he's without either children or meaningful accomplishments to his name. When he dies, he wants to have done more than spent his family's money.

Typically, bored rich folk in his situation would donate a wing to a hospital or start a charitable foundation. Emmet simply prefers to take a more "paws on" approach to giving back to his community. You can work without being working class, you know.

And when "well heeled gentlemen" wish to unburden themselves, they don't go to a therapist. They confide in their tailor.

Save is a skunk who prides himself on working with species of all shapes, sizes and temperaments. Some clothiers only accept certain types of clients, but what kind of artist refuses to broaden his horizons? The greater the challenge, the greater the reward and the more satisfied the customer.

Emmet was the first wombat client Save ever had. The man seems to have a keen interest in period costumes. Being a clothing designer Save knows a thing or two about the history of fashion and some of Emmet's choices are rather more idiosyncratic than historical—but the customer is always right, and as long as he likes how he looks, more power to him.

One day over tea Emmet elaborated on what he uses those outfits for: he throws historically themed dinner parties in his burrow that he hosts in costume. An appropriate pastime for a somewhat eccentric rich fellow with a lot of time to kill. Ordinarily Save would politely nod and think "well, an orgy is an orgy."

Except lately there's also been a ferret coming into the shop, also with an interest in period costumes, and always costumes belonging to the same historical era that Emmet is currently into. He even lives in the same town as Emmet. His explanation is that he's in a "LARP group" and he needs the outfit for their latest campaign.

A LARP campaign? Or a "dinner party" at a wombat burrow?

So Save thought to ask his wombat friend if he'd ever gone LARPing. He expected either a circumspect denial or a blunt declaration that he'd never heard of the term.

Instead Emmet calmly sipped his tea.

"Not for me. Too much running around for an old man. Though I know my assistant gets up to that sort of thing."

Very interesting.

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Artwork by  A_Lovelydog, featuring myself and  A-Kitsune